Last Friday night, my father had been unconscious. Thanks to his friend, he was rushed to the hospital. We were shocked to hear the news a few hours afterwards since he was all far alone in Mindanao outskirts for a business trip as usual. Why does it have to happen there now that we were all back in Manila?
It was indeed a great turmoil but we were relieved to know that he was resuscitated and was transferred to the ICU. The following morning, my mother accompanied by my brothers took the second earliest flight and flew to Cagayan de Oro City to be at our father’s bedside.
But that left us all alone. Ever since they left, a sense of quietness appeared in every corner of the home. It wasn’t hectic as the usual morning day. My brothers’ room was silent with only hush of wind blowing from time to time. The dining room was incomplete yet peaceful. Everything was finally without chaos. Yet deep in my heart, I knew I do crave for this atmosphere but not with the risk of someone dying. Indeed, I pondered and asked myself if I was still on the right track with Our Lord.
Ever since November of last year, my life has been very busy. I was sent to school to study more and gain more knowledge. But with knowledge comes a great responsibility. Having chosen medical transcription, we were required to memorize medical terms of a certain branch of medicine given a week’s time. I exerted all my effort to master it and asked God’s forgiveness for not being able to give more time to Him than I usually do. I miss it but I can’t help it either. I need to recompense what my parents are paying for my tuition.
But as time goes by, I felt dissipated. I began to long for inner peace which the classroom couldn’t give. Activities e.g. teamwork and role playing were all but nonsensical since it wasn’t correlated to God. I was sick and tired of praises and laughs that’s only deafening me. Although I love what I was studying, time and time again, I had this exhaustion while doing nothing really great. Illogical as it may seem but I was concentrated yet disturbed at the same time. I knew I need a way out. Every time I returned home, I longed to read the spiritual books and articles that used to enlighten me. Yet I was left without a choice. I’ve to pick up my modular book again and read and read to make it on next week’s exam. My only consolation was the weekly words of the priests in the confessional and in the pulpit. I try to repeat it oftentimes on my mind so that it echoes wherever I go or whatever I do.
Now that I had informed my school administrator of the family crisis and excused myself, I was too glad tossing off my medical text books and exchanged it to spiritual ones. It was a pleasure reading it as I could see where my life is really at. As I re-read the Soul of the Apostolate by Dom Chautard, I was finally refreshed. I returned back to my 15 minute meditation and resumed my 15 decade Rosary. Indeed, I saw myself in the book. My soul is wandering, weary and drifting out. It is alive yet dry and can almost be considered as dead. For the Sacraments of Penance and Holy Communion are not enough for the Catholic soul. In order to maintain the soul’s vitality and Christ living in it, one has to take a break from the usual routine and enter deeply into one’s life through meditation. As the book rightly says, we need not talk and talk to God all the time. Rather, let God do the talking. He wants us to be silent that He may be able to communicate to us His will. His loving command is sweet that it is only the coward who does not heed. It was then I regained my vibrancy and became aware again that active works can only be meritorious if interior life is not neglected. I felt like I was back to grade I but was too happy ignoring my stage. I felt like a little child again with innocence and simplicity at its best.
Indeed, this world gives nothing but allurements which cannot totally satisfy any individual, much more its soul. One cannot concentrate on one’s goal without first shutting the world behind for it is only the Creator Who brought nothing into existence. Hence, the need for His ways. And this I have fully experienced during the past months at school. Any school has no wish but to make the student brighter in this world but duller in God’s life. There are few exceptions, though, such as the SSPX schools. But in most cases, the pupil will be flooded with materialism and egoism forgetting, if not ignoring, God’s words.
Hence, I was far too glad that I had a break from school. It was a blessing in disguise that my father is hospitalized. Though, I pray that he recover soon and be back to normal, both he and I indeed need to be revived from poison. He, from his uncontrolled diet and I, from my sunken soul. As the day continues to pass, I have come to fully appreciate again God’s wonderful ways. I need not worry about anything if I but follow His ways. Arduous as it may be, it is the sweetest and surest way my soul will eventually reach perfect bliss with God in eternity.
Oh Lord my God, I thank Thee for all the blessings Thou hast bestowed upon Thy maid. Let me learn to always keep intact my meditation no matter what situation arises. Teach me to be at pace so that I have time for my daily meditation. Thou art wonderful in everything and I can’t help but express my gratitude for stirring me up when I was about to lose control.
Oh my Blessed Mother, I thank thee for ever supporting me during those tepid months. Indeed, how wonderful is thy Rosary for through it, I was saved from totally abandoning thy Divine Son! Amen.
Thursday, February 09, 2012
Thursday, September 01, 2011
Fulfillment
One can never catch the many months that passed by so as to write it down here. Indeed, it’s more than half a year since I last posted and how I miss gathering my thoughts.
Ever since returning home to Manila last February, I was even busy with my life. Still, I made it a point to finish my prayers. It has been a sense of fulfillment to me despite not being able to blog here.
Manila was indeed my home but Mindanao taught me many lessons. I was indeed grateful on my 7 long years stay there. Things aren’t costly and fruits are so abundant you can eat it everyday. I actually lost my appetite on fruits already due to this! Mindanao became my 2nd home and I definitely won’t get lost there if I were to come back again. People are charming there and would always love to chit-chat with everyone. My Mindanao experience was worth remembering indeed.
But Manila is awesome for this was the very root where I got converted to Sacred Catholic Tradition. Mindanao surely strengthened my Catholic Faith and I realized more than ever that I prefer to be with God’s presence than those entire tall scrapers rising amidst this country’s capital.
Fulfillment is something that we call our very existence of living. For if we do not live to fulfill it, we feel like not living at all. As for me, my fulfillment is to be everything what God wants me to be. And I might say that I’m half to fulfilling it. For with each day passing by, there’s a desire to fulfill. But if God doesn’t want it yet, we’d certainly ran out of course and end up waiting for the next day to arrive.
Such is my life these days. I live, knowing my goals and keeping myself at tracked. And if I but failed it, I may be distressed but in the end of the day, there’s a whisper echoing at me that tomorrow is there to attain it once more.
Life is not what we expect it to be but what we must accept and reflect it to be what God deigns it to be. Such should be our daily motivation that in this world, there’d be less evil and more good.
What can be nobler than to love Him Who loved us first? And what could be lovelier to do than to do what He wants us to do? But one cannot simply find it alone. One needs to get the grace which mostly can be found in the Sacraments of Penance and Holy Communion. There and there, can only one realize the true meaning of life here on earth. It’s a war to wage - a spiritual fight against materialism.
Oh Blessed Virgin and St. Joseph, grant me thy graces that I may find Our Lord comfortable in my heart. I am all thine, and grant that thy desires would also be mine! Amen.
Ever since returning home to Manila last February, I was even busy with my life. Still, I made it a point to finish my prayers. It has been a sense of fulfillment to me despite not being able to blog here.
Manila was indeed my home but Mindanao taught me many lessons. I was indeed grateful on my 7 long years stay there. Things aren’t costly and fruits are so abundant you can eat it everyday. I actually lost my appetite on fruits already due to this! Mindanao became my 2nd home and I definitely won’t get lost there if I were to come back again. People are charming there and would always love to chit-chat with everyone. My Mindanao experience was worth remembering indeed.
But Manila is awesome for this was the very root where I got converted to Sacred Catholic Tradition. Mindanao surely strengthened my Catholic Faith and I realized more than ever that I prefer to be with God’s presence than those entire tall scrapers rising amidst this country’s capital.
Fulfillment is something that we call our very existence of living. For if we do not live to fulfill it, we feel like not living at all. As for me, my fulfillment is to be everything what God wants me to be. And I might say that I’m half to fulfilling it. For with each day passing by, there’s a desire to fulfill. But if God doesn’t want it yet, we’d certainly ran out of course and end up waiting for the next day to arrive.
Such is my life these days. I live, knowing my goals and keeping myself at tracked. And if I but failed it, I may be distressed but in the end of the day, there’s a whisper echoing at me that tomorrow is there to attain it once more.
Life is not what we expect it to be but what we must accept and reflect it to be what God deigns it to be. Such should be our daily motivation that in this world, there’d be less evil and more good.
What can be nobler than to love Him Who loved us first? And what could be lovelier to do than to do what He wants us to do? But one cannot simply find it alone. One needs to get the grace which mostly can be found in the Sacraments of Penance and Holy Communion. There and there, can only one realize the true meaning of life here on earth. It’s a war to wage - a spiritual fight against materialism.
Oh Blessed Virgin and St. Joseph, grant me thy graces that I may find Our Lord comfortable in my heart. I am all thine, and grant that thy desires would also be mine! Amen.
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
New Year! New Me?
That was the first question I asked myself the moment I realized it’s already a new year. Can I really fair even better this time around?
Lest I’d be misunderstood, Id’ like to stress that I’m not after worldly honors e.g. new get up, new personality or even a new religion! Absolutely no! It’s about being a little step closer to God and the Blessed Virgin Mary.
I know I scored better last year but still, it wasn’t good. Rather, I know it wasn’t my best yet. So now, I’m starting again eliminating the bad things in me. But which one is first? This impatience or that tepidity? This pop music or that nicey movie? It’s not easy to discern since somewhere along, I know I’d be falling on the same plane again - half half on either side. Well, there must be a remedy for this. And I better figure it out. I must figure it out.
In his sermon last Sunday, I was touched on how Fr. MacPherson related man’s gradual falling to something bad and eventually leading him to the wrong path. Without grace, man can easily be led astray. At first, you dread the bad thing, then you pitied it, then as time comes, you embrace it unknowingly. He sounded logical since human intellect tells us that you pity something that’s dreadful and of course, pitying something would naturally bring you into half accepting it and soon into wholly accepting it. [This can never be an act of charity since God is charity. And everything that belongs to God is good. Therefore, charity is asking us to love the sinner and not the sin. But in the previous formula, man ended loving both the sinner and the sin which again would bring us to contradiction with the meaning of charity.]
Such was the thing I needed most. And I felt like God was talking right exactly to my heart. He wanted me to pursue my plans of being more sanctified and pious. Never mind how many times I’ve fallen. What matters most is that sincerity of heart to ask pardon at the confessional and at the same time to strive harder to be better.
As this year commences, I shall always keep in mind his sermon. I know I might get easily distracted with all those worldliness around, but with his sermon on mind, I shall always look back to consider my soul very carefully. Things can be easier said than done - hence I wouldn’t be boastful that I’ll be doing my best now but just a little better this time. As hastiness makes waste, I shall only be glad to obligingly walk the speed Our Lady asks me to do so as to attain that holiness that Our Lord expects from me.
Oh Blessed Virgin, Mother of God, grant me the grace to keep the pace of sanctity constantly and wholeheartedly. I humbly beg thee to teach me when I’m confused, strengthen me when I’m tempted, and most especially to assist me wherever my feet tread on and whatever my life’s circumstances will be! Amen.
Lest I’d be misunderstood, Id’ like to stress that I’m not after worldly honors e.g. new get up, new personality or even a new religion! Absolutely no! It’s about being a little step closer to God and the Blessed Virgin Mary.
I know I scored better last year but still, it wasn’t good. Rather, I know it wasn’t my best yet. So now, I’m starting again eliminating the bad things in me. But which one is first? This impatience or that tepidity? This pop music or that nicey movie? It’s not easy to discern since somewhere along, I know I’d be falling on the same plane again - half half on either side. Well, there must be a remedy for this. And I better figure it out. I must figure it out.
In his sermon last Sunday, I was touched on how Fr. MacPherson related man’s gradual falling to something bad and eventually leading him to the wrong path. Without grace, man can easily be led astray. At first, you dread the bad thing, then you pitied it, then as time comes, you embrace it unknowingly. He sounded logical since human intellect tells us that you pity something that’s dreadful and of course, pitying something would naturally bring you into half accepting it and soon into wholly accepting it. [This can never be an act of charity since God is charity. And everything that belongs to God is good. Therefore, charity is asking us to love the sinner and not the sin. But in the previous formula, man ended loving both the sinner and the sin which again would bring us to contradiction with the meaning of charity.]
Such was the thing I needed most. And I felt like God was talking right exactly to my heart. He wanted me to pursue my plans of being more sanctified and pious. Never mind how many times I’ve fallen. What matters most is that sincerity of heart to ask pardon at the confessional and at the same time to strive harder to be better.
As this year commences, I shall always keep in mind his sermon. I know I might get easily distracted with all those worldliness around, but with his sermon on mind, I shall always look back to consider my soul very carefully. Things can be easier said than done - hence I wouldn’t be boastful that I’ll be doing my best now but just a little better this time. As hastiness makes waste, I shall only be glad to obligingly walk the speed Our Lady asks me to do so as to attain that holiness that Our Lord expects from me.
Oh Blessed Virgin, Mother of God, grant me the grace to keep the pace of sanctity constantly and wholeheartedly. I humbly beg thee to teach me when I’m confused, strengthen me when I’m tempted, and most especially to assist me wherever my feet tread on and whatever my life’s circumstances will be! Amen.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Guillain–Barré Syndrome
I was shocked to know that Fr. Salvador is having this sickness. It was dreadful to realize since it can paralyze the whole body as it slowly progresses. My mind was bewildered thinking on what lies ahead on Fr. Salvador’s life.
Looking back, Fr. Salvador was the very first Filipino Society priest I had known ever since my family got converted to Catholic Tradition. This priest, who was the second Filipino Society priest, was just spending his second year priesthood life way back then at Our Lady of Victories Church in Manila. It was then we got to know his vibrant and high spirited character. His easy going manners exactly fitted him to various countries in Asia doing missionary work and it even led him as far as the deserts of Africa. Indeed, his 11 years in the priesthood certainly gave him a colorful missionary life.
Hence, I couldn’t imagine him being paralyzed. One faithful told us that his left side is already paralyzed and a priest informed that he’s on the hospital recovering. Oh well, this must have been his first Christmas without a mission. Aside from his sickness, he must have probably been suffering terribly from his different status in life.
Yet I know there should always be a light of hope. I kept praying for him the moment I learned it on Christmas eve. I know that prayers are not man’s wishes being done on earth but God’s will. Thus, I’ve been asking God to give Father the necessary graces to accept anything as an offering to Him. I know he can grasp it since he loved God so purely that he chose to be an Alter Christus more than anything. Yet, human weakness is ever present and this is the one thing I’m afraid about him. The best thing I could offer him now is the Mass. I hope and pray that he’ll never fall into desperation and that through all oddities, he may still regain his vigor of youthful vivacity and simplicity.
Oh Blessed Virgin, grant that thou would shower Father multiple graces in his present situation. May it please the Most Triune God to restore him perfectly to his normal condition. But if not, I ask that thou continue intercede for his behalf that he may be faithful to his sublime vocation till thou welcome him on the eternal bliss of Heaven! Amen.
Looking back, Fr. Salvador was the very first Filipino Society priest I had known ever since my family got converted to Catholic Tradition. This priest, who was the second Filipino Society priest, was just spending his second year priesthood life way back then at Our Lady of Victories Church in Manila. It was then we got to know his vibrant and high spirited character. His easy going manners exactly fitted him to various countries in Asia doing missionary work and it even led him as far as the deserts of Africa. Indeed, his 11 years in the priesthood certainly gave him a colorful missionary life.
Hence, I couldn’t imagine him being paralyzed. One faithful told us that his left side is already paralyzed and a priest informed that he’s on the hospital recovering. Oh well, this must have been his first Christmas without a mission. Aside from his sickness, he must have probably been suffering terribly from his different status in life.
Yet I know there should always be a light of hope. I kept praying for him the moment I learned it on Christmas eve. I know that prayers are not man’s wishes being done on earth but God’s will. Thus, I’ve been asking God to give Father the necessary graces to accept anything as an offering to Him. I know he can grasp it since he loved God so purely that he chose to be an Alter Christus more than anything. Yet, human weakness is ever present and this is the one thing I’m afraid about him. The best thing I could offer him now is the Mass. I hope and pray that he’ll never fall into desperation and that through all oddities, he may still regain his vigor of youthful vivacity and simplicity.
Oh Blessed Virgin, grant that thou would shower Father multiple graces in his present situation. May it please the Most Triune God to restore him perfectly to his normal condition. But if not, I ask that thou continue intercede for his behalf that he may be faithful to his sublime vocation till thou welcome him on the eternal bliss of Heaven! Amen.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Tis the Season
Christmas is here once again. Carolers are around every night and each night beams beautiful lights of Christmas trees with serenading Christmas songs. Yeah, all this makes me sick since I got a lot of sad Christmas experiences - from my family to personal life.
But this time around, something different struck me. The priest at the confessional advised that I should be generous. Thus, setting aside emotional feelings and far from childish dreams of Santa Claus and gifts, I’m going to reflect about what it truly takes to have a Christmas full of God’s undying love.
The 3 questions that I’m about to write down here are quite simple and need I add sounded more of an examination of conscience. Simple as it seems but it has a value that outweighs its unimportance.
1. Am I already prepared in receiving Baby Jesus in my heart?
2. Do I try as much as possible to avoid sin so that I could at least give Him a clean soul as a birthday present?
3. Have I done worthy actions to merit His presence on Christmas?
Of course, I know it’s too hard to be perfect in everything. But it can never be an excuse not to give your best to Him Who subjected Himself to our wretched humanity. So now that a few days left before Christmas, I’d try to be even generous, diligent, and patient to the people around me. I should try to forget about myself and be accessible to others while at the same time without forgetting my duties towards God. It’s the best Christmas gift I could ever give to Him. In fact, the best Christmas gift I could ever long for.
As the priest rightly said at the confessional, Our Lord didn’t mind Himself being born on a lowly dwelling but thought of the people He’d redeem through His human life. Hence, with simple and insignificant deeds, I shall weave my basket of love ready to be placed next to Our Savior’s manger.
Oh Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Joseph, thou who prepared Jesus’ place on earth, assist me to have a clean and serene heart on Christmas day that Christ may be able to find in me another place to rest His tender Body! Amen.
But this time around, something different struck me. The priest at the confessional advised that I should be generous. Thus, setting aside emotional feelings and far from childish dreams of Santa Claus and gifts, I’m going to reflect about what it truly takes to have a Christmas full of God’s undying love.
The 3 questions that I’m about to write down here are quite simple and need I add sounded more of an examination of conscience. Simple as it seems but it has a value that outweighs its unimportance.
1. Am I already prepared in receiving Baby Jesus in my heart?
2. Do I try as much as possible to avoid sin so that I could at least give Him a clean soul as a birthday present?
3. Have I done worthy actions to merit His presence on Christmas?
Of course, I know it’s too hard to be perfect in everything. But it can never be an excuse not to give your best to Him Who subjected Himself to our wretched humanity. So now that a few days left before Christmas, I’d try to be even generous, diligent, and patient to the people around me. I should try to forget about myself and be accessible to others while at the same time without forgetting my duties towards God. It’s the best Christmas gift I could ever give to Him. In fact, the best Christmas gift I could ever long for.
As the priest rightly said at the confessional, Our Lord didn’t mind Himself being born on a lowly dwelling but thought of the people He’d redeem through His human life. Hence, with simple and insignificant deeds, I shall weave my basket of love ready to be placed next to Our Savior’s manger.
Oh Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Joseph, thou who prepared Jesus’ place on earth, assist me to have a clean and serene heart on Christmas day that Christ may be able to find in me another place to rest His tender Body! Amen.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
St. Vincent Strambi’s Home for the Aged
Situated near the Mindanao Medical Center and with cemented roads surrounded with tall grasses of some sort, there stood an institution specifically meant for the neglected old and which was founded and run by the Passionist priests once again. This had become our 5th and final exposure. Coming to this place was very downtrodden. One would ask why they’re here when supposed to be they should be in their respective homes encircled by their families.
This place was never out of nursing/healthcare/caregiver students. Hence, we were about 27 there coming from 4 different schools. We didn’t have any CI or co-students here once more and our duty was as usual: 8am to 4pm.
After a short briefing, I was assigned together with 2 others to an old woman who cannot walk already and has a separate house (a small hut) as well. She lives there since she always yells and says vulgar words and sometimes annoys the other elders. In short, she seemed to be always wanting her ways to be done. The supervisor even told me that I’d be challenge with her reputation. It was indeed hard to manage her and somehow I was afraid of her. She uses her stick/rod as her defense against people she doesn’t like. At first encounter I thought of taking it away but it would deprive her of something that might cause her health to deteriorate even more. Plus, she was always shouting at us no matter how much we tried to explain that we’re there to help her. Her anger wouldn’t give her any relief at all. And this could be another cause that might trigger her health. Hence, I decided to ask for a replacement as it seemed hopeless dealing with her. I explained everything to the supervisor but she assured me that the old woman wouldn’t get any worse with our presence. So I followed her advice and stayed with my patient. After an hour or so, I felt comfortable with her already. The supervisor was right. I was indeed challenged but it’s just a matter of getting used to the old woman’s life. I also learned beforehand from other CIs that this person has a TB before. Thus, I’ve to wear face mask whenever I came to her hut. It’s not actually required and the 2 others didn’t wear one but with her usual spitting inside her hut, it’s best to have precautionary measures already.
Lunch was served to the elderly by us. After their eating, we were obliged to wash our patient’s dishes and also clean the dining room. Usually, by the time we finished our duties, it’s already 1pm. And here we begin our own lunch and break. By this time, the elders take a nap or rest while others watch TV. After lunch, we had a get along with each other as this was our only time for us. But from time to time, we never forget our given tasks. As for me, I get to check my patient in her hut every now and then to see if everything’s fine or any untoward incident that I need to report.
During our 2nd day, we’re almost late. It’s just a 2 minutes before 8 when we looked to our watches before writing it in the log book! Good thing we made it. Anyways, our day was still the same. Sometimes, I saw that the elders argue among themselves. Here, we tried to reconcile them and act as peacemakers. If things didn’t work, we always report to the people out there e.g. cook, supervisor.
I was informed by the stay-in caregiver that my patient would be taking a bath. No, she couldn’t do it by herself and it kept me wondering how I can do it. My patient is always mad and knocking us with her stick. Plus, as I’ve said earlier, she’s immobile already. Nonetheless, my nervousness was cleared away when I learned that the caregiver would help us. It turned out that we simply assisted him in giving the old woman a bath. Deo gratias! Afterwards, she was taken on a wheelchair and was out from her hut for quite a few minutes. Then the caregiver asked us to clean the hut’s grounds and I thought of undertaking that chore.
My sister and I were anxious for our 3rd day for we’re already burnt out too much. As I said from my other previous blog, we only get a few hours of sleep. Finally, the last day came and as usual, my mother brought foods and religious gifts for them. We had a culmination day together with the other school and each of us bid adieu to our patients. As for me, I just thought of making a card since it’s not possible talking to her.
This doesn’t mean that our concluding day wasn’t out of hard and tough duties. I was asked by one of the students there to assist them in bathing her patient. We were 5 all in all from 3 different schools. And this patient is still strong, mobile, and restless. She resisted us with all her might and it wasn’t easy to cope with her. We had to hold her hands and feet while at the same time calmly bathe and explain to her the reasons behind it. She was adamant and once managed to kick the pale of water at us. Nevertheless, it was okay since we also needed to make sure that she’s not hurt and that her whole persona isn’t being affected with our actions.
Anyways, this had become my experience with the elderly. When I think of them, I always remember my grandparents who all died so soon. They were just in their 60’s - 70’s and I only had quite a few bonding with them. I completely lost all 4 of them when I was 18. Actually, I never really longed for their presence before since I got a big family enough to keep me from getting bored. But as I grew up, I realized that it’s not just about laughs that you’d always want from others. I also need the wisdom of old people and to give the respect they demand. It’s not that I maltreated them or what but it’s just that I never had the opportunity to show them the love and respect I gave to the people I’ve encountered throughout my exposures to various institutions and places. Somehow, I felt weak and needed meditation. Anyway, it was Maundy Thursday the next day and it was indeed time for me to reflect seriously on my life and on how I can often put God in it. Fortunately, I was blessed to have a confession before the Easter Vigil Mass and was again strengthened during my reception of Holy Communion.
Oh Blessed Virgin Mary, have pity on my sinful soul. Grant me always the grace of true repentance so that I may cease offending thy Son Who loved us most dearly! Oh my Christ and King, may Thy reign come soon! Amen
This place was never out of nursing/healthcare/caregiver students. Hence, we were about 27 there coming from 4 different schools. We didn’t have any CI or co-students here once more and our duty was as usual: 8am to 4pm.
After a short briefing, I was assigned together with 2 others to an old woman who cannot walk already and has a separate house (a small hut) as well. She lives there since she always yells and says vulgar words and sometimes annoys the other elders. In short, she seemed to be always wanting her ways to be done. The supervisor even told me that I’d be challenge with her reputation. It was indeed hard to manage her and somehow I was afraid of her. She uses her stick/rod as her defense against people she doesn’t like. At first encounter I thought of taking it away but it would deprive her of something that might cause her health to deteriorate even more. Plus, she was always shouting at us no matter how much we tried to explain that we’re there to help her. Her anger wouldn’t give her any relief at all. And this could be another cause that might trigger her health. Hence, I decided to ask for a replacement as it seemed hopeless dealing with her. I explained everything to the supervisor but she assured me that the old woman wouldn’t get any worse with our presence. So I followed her advice and stayed with my patient. After an hour or so, I felt comfortable with her already. The supervisor was right. I was indeed challenged but it’s just a matter of getting used to the old woman’s life. I also learned beforehand from other CIs that this person has a TB before. Thus, I’ve to wear face mask whenever I came to her hut. It’s not actually required and the 2 others didn’t wear one but with her usual spitting inside her hut, it’s best to have precautionary measures already.
Lunch was served to the elderly by us. After their eating, we were obliged to wash our patient’s dishes and also clean the dining room. Usually, by the time we finished our duties, it’s already 1pm. And here we begin our own lunch and break. By this time, the elders take a nap or rest while others watch TV. After lunch, we had a get along with each other as this was our only time for us. But from time to time, we never forget our given tasks. As for me, I get to check my patient in her hut every now and then to see if everything’s fine or any untoward incident that I need to report.
During our 2nd day, we’re almost late. It’s just a 2 minutes before 8 when we looked to our watches before writing it in the log book! Good thing we made it. Anyways, our day was still the same. Sometimes, I saw that the elders argue among themselves. Here, we tried to reconcile them and act as peacemakers. If things didn’t work, we always report to the people out there e.g. cook, supervisor.
I was informed by the stay-in caregiver that my patient would be taking a bath. No, she couldn’t do it by herself and it kept me wondering how I can do it. My patient is always mad and knocking us with her stick. Plus, as I’ve said earlier, she’s immobile already. Nonetheless, my nervousness was cleared away when I learned that the caregiver would help us. It turned out that we simply assisted him in giving the old woman a bath. Deo gratias! Afterwards, she was taken on a wheelchair and was out from her hut for quite a few minutes. Then the caregiver asked us to clean the hut’s grounds and I thought of undertaking that chore.
My sister and I were anxious for our 3rd day for we’re already burnt out too much. As I said from my other previous blog, we only get a few hours of sleep. Finally, the last day came and as usual, my mother brought foods and religious gifts for them. We had a culmination day together with the other school and each of us bid adieu to our patients. As for me, I just thought of making a card since it’s not possible talking to her.
This doesn’t mean that our concluding day wasn’t out of hard and tough duties. I was asked by one of the students there to assist them in bathing her patient. We were 5 all in all from 3 different schools. And this patient is still strong, mobile, and restless. She resisted us with all her might and it wasn’t easy to cope with her. We had to hold her hands and feet while at the same time calmly bathe and explain to her the reasons behind it. She was adamant and once managed to kick the pale of water at us. Nevertheless, it was okay since we also needed to make sure that she’s not hurt and that her whole persona isn’t being affected with our actions.
Anyways, this had become my experience with the elderly. When I think of them, I always remember my grandparents who all died so soon. They were just in their 60’s - 70’s and I only had quite a few bonding with them. I completely lost all 4 of them when I was 18. Actually, I never really longed for their presence before since I got a big family enough to keep me from getting bored. But as I grew up, I realized that it’s not just about laughs that you’d always want from others. I also need the wisdom of old people and to give the respect they demand. It’s not that I maltreated them or what but it’s just that I never had the opportunity to show them the love and respect I gave to the people I’ve encountered throughout my exposures to various institutions and places. Somehow, I felt weak and needed meditation. Anyway, it was Maundy Thursday the next day and it was indeed time for me to reflect seriously on my life and on how I can often put God in it. Fortunately, I was blessed to have a confession before the Easter Vigil Mass and was again strengthened during my reception of Holy Communion.
Oh Blessed Virgin Mary, have pity on my sinful soul. Grant me always the grace of true repentance so that I may cease offending thy Son Who loved us most dearly! Oh my Christ and King, may Thy reign come soon! Amen
Saturday, October 23, 2010
St. Gemma’s Orphanage
We were scheduled to have an exposure here 2 days after Bp. Fellay’s visit. However, it was cancelled due to the death of our grand uncle and was re- scheduled 2 weeks after.
Our teacher told us beforehand that during our orphanage duty, we’d be having no co-students with us. And CIs normally don’t accompany students here - so the protocol of the school says. Hence, we were only 2 (my sister and I) and we had a 3 day duty from 8am to 4pm.
It was school time and so we only had 2 kids to look for and one handicapped who’s always on his wheelchair. The house matron is from Luzon and barely speaks Illongo too. Thus, we had an easy time going during our stay since the kids are familiar with speaking Tagalog. Anyways, as she toured us around and advised us of our expected work, I observed the place with a keen eye. Boys’ rooms are separated from the girls’ while the children of both genders are allowed to have one big room with a house help to sleep with them as well. They had a lawn in the center that quite became the children’s playground. They also had a library but rarely been used. One can put his fingers there to see how thick dust accumulated there already.
One thing that crossed my mind upon entering here was the Servi Domini orphanage in India. St. Gemma’s orphanage is run by the Passionist priests. (Actually, the rehabilitation center is also theirs.) And I learned that every night they have to recite the Rosary. Plus on Sundays, they are required to hear Mass. No one is exempted even if some are Muslim and Protestants. This was indeed a great option for the youths out there who’re otherwise living immoral lives. But of course, there are many lacking. There were 2 TVs around. One was on the children’s room while the other one was on the living room. When I asked why the children has a TV of their own, I was told that the older kids use the TV on the living room that sometimes the small ones are being deprived of it. So they set up one there. Such a horrible explanation. I’ve even seen that kids are allowed to switch TVs on and even manage the remote control. They also have less regard on sanctity and quite ignorant of the Catechism. Modernism is indeed present here.
During our first morning, we had to get along with the kids first. TV was on and I insisted on closing it and instead focus on wholesome things. It was a good thing that we had a power cut and so they had no choice but to follow us. Afterwards, we taught them basics - from how to write numbers and alphabets to adding and subtracting. We also tried to teach them about God, like what’s the Holy Family’s Name and then pointing out some of the religious statues there and asking them who it is. Sometimes, they were right and when they’re not, we patiently correct them.
10am came and we thought of cleaning their room. There was a pile of clothes in one of the beds and it’s obvious it needed folding. So, we did it while taking turns on looking after the 2 kids that were entrusted to us. Inside was very hot and it gave me a terrible headache. I was about to succumb out but I pitied my sister who’d be left alone. It was more than a hundred pieces of clothes! After 2 hours of folding clothes, it was finally finished. It was already 12 noon and with my head really heavy, we already left for lunch.
We had lunch in one of the huts there outside. It didn’t give me any relief at all since there was a foul smell. We later found out that it was the handicapped’s room that was adjacent to the hut. Hence, my headache only turned worse and worse even though I had drunk medicine already. I decided to rest in the living room first without doing anything but my Rosary prayer.
Thankfully, I was relived after praying the Rosary. As my head became quite normal, I joined my sister already in tutoring the kids. But they insisted on playing. And so we did. Their games were very simple and poor. No scrabbles or chess but just piece of rocks and a small marble (one that resembles those in Chinese checkers). I had no idea of how to play it and so I’ve to ask first. Gradually, I learned and happily played with them. It’s really wonderful to see their ingenuity just to have something to play with.
Our 2nd day began with a visit to the nearby chapel first. It was our mother who discovered that there was a novitiate within the grounds and hence an open big chapel was built. We also brought the kids here and found out that this is where the kids gather to hear Mass on Sundays. Here, we thought of touring the novitiate’s vast grounds. Of course, we weren’t able to go inside the main premises of the novitiate as it is not allowed. The kids pointed to us the novitiate’s chicken farm and we’re able to see their dogs too. Some were in cages and some were looming around but all of them were in unison in barking at us. It caught the attention of one of the religious there and we apologized for the disturbance. He was quite happy anyway to see that there were students taking care of their orphans. Also, the kids helped us in going to the 3 Crosses that were built in the hilltop. It was majestic. I also found out through my own wanderings some old and broken but precious picture frames depicting the priesthood life of St. Paul of the Cross. It was placed in one of the hills there but it seemed neglected already. Here, I tried to teach the kids about the sanctity of life. There were also Stations of the Cross all around the novitiate’s ground but it’s the modern Stations.
Anyways, we continued on tutoring them how to write and color stuffs. Sometimes, they just wouldn’t listen and draw or write something we didn’t ask them to do. I sensed that maybe it’s their way of letting us know that they’re tired of studying. So, we had a give and take process. And in the long end, it worked out.
We decided to have lunch on the beautiful hut which is just a few meters from the chapel and in front of the novitiate. Actually, we already planned it earlier when we first visited the chapel. Even though it was a 10 minute walk from the orphanage, it was well deserving. The lush green trees and the soft wind blowing pure air on us were terrific. We truly enjoyed the scenery as we ate lunch. Afterwards, we thought of spending the rest of our break praying inside the chapel.
At 1pm we walk towards the orphanage and found the 2 playing as usual. We joined them while at the same time we gave them lessons to study. We also informed them the need to pray in the chapel later on. They kept on playing around but we persisted and managed to bring them in the chapel. Inside we taught them how to genuflect, make the Sign of the Cross and pray the basic prayers. They’re indeed familiar with those prayers but sometimes they failed to complete it. After that and bringing them back to the house, we cleaned any mess around and the clock struck 4. It was time to go.
During our 3rd and final day, my mother brought them gifts and Rosaries too. They were very excited but we told them they have to go to the chapel first before opening them. This time we also brought the handicapped boy as our mother thought so. She was the one who pushed his wheelchair all the way. This boy is only 17 and had a cerebral palsy ever since the orphanage took him. I tried to teach him about Pedro Calungsod of which there lay a book about him. I explained to him of how this Filipino martyr died for our Faith but he just couldn’t comprehend. Plus, he always talks nonsense and mimics everything he sees in us. I tried to tell him that’s not right but it’s useless. I really pitied this guy.
Anyways, this day we had other students from a different school. They too did work there and helped in teaching the kids. However, they decided to leave around 2pm. As the day progressed, my sister thought of cleaning the jalousies of the children’s room. Then after her, it was my turn. The 3 students cleaned other rooms as well.
When lunch time came, we left for our hut while the others left for the mall nearby. As usual, we prayed inside the chapel again after eating lunch. After our break, we returned and gave in to their play as this was our last day. Still, we never forget to teach them about God. We visited the chapel and prayed with them again. Since it was Lent, there were many people doing the Stations and it gave them a deeper sense of holiness. I know that 3 days weren’t enough to mold a child’s heart to sanctity yet I also know that we did our best. We leave to God everything now. As St. Augustine rightly puts it, work as though all depended upon yourself and hope as though all depended upon God.
Oh Lord my God, Thou hast said, “Suffer the little children to come unto Me and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.” Grant that Thou move Thy priests to teach these little ones Thy loving ways so that in the long run they may accept Thy sweet Cross! Amen.
Our teacher told us beforehand that during our orphanage duty, we’d be having no co-students with us. And CIs normally don’t accompany students here - so the protocol of the school says. Hence, we were only 2 (my sister and I) and we had a 3 day duty from 8am to 4pm.
It was school time and so we only had 2 kids to look for and one handicapped who’s always on his wheelchair. The house matron is from Luzon and barely speaks Illongo too. Thus, we had an easy time going during our stay since the kids are familiar with speaking Tagalog. Anyways, as she toured us around and advised us of our expected work, I observed the place with a keen eye. Boys’ rooms are separated from the girls’ while the children of both genders are allowed to have one big room with a house help to sleep with them as well. They had a lawn in the center that quite became the children’s playground. They also had a library but rarely been used. One can put his fingers there to see how thick dust accumulated there already.
One thing that crossed my mind upon entering here was the Servi Domini orphanage in India. St. Gemma’s orphanage is run by the Passionist priests. (Actually, the rehabilitation center is also theirs.) And I learned that every night they have to recite the Rosary. Plus on Sundays, they are required to hear Mass. No one is exempted even if some are Muslim and Protestants. This was indeed a great option for the youths out there who’re otherwise living immoral lives. But of course, there are many lacking. There were 2 TVs around. One was on the children’s room while the other one was on the living room. When I asked why the children has a TV of their own, I was told that the older kids use the TV on the living room that sometimes the small ones are being deprived of it. So they set up one there. Such a horrible explanation. I’ve even seen that kids are allowed to switch TVs on and even manage the remote control. They also have less regard on sanctity and quite ignorant of the Catechism. Modernism is indeed present here.
During our first morning, we had to get along with the kids first. TV was on and I insisted on closing it and instead focus on wholesome things. It was a good thing that we had a power cut and so they had no choice but to follow us. Afterwards, we taught them basics - from how to write numbers and alphabets to adding and subtracting. We also tried to teach them about God, like what’s the Holy Family’s Name and then pointing out some of the religious statues there and asking them who it is. Sometimes, they were right and when they’re not, we patiently correct them.
10am came and we thought of cleaning their room. There was a pile of clothes in one of the beds and it’s obvious it needed folding. So, we did it while taking turns on looking after the 2 kids that were entrusted to us. Inside was very hot and it gave me a terrible headache. I was about to succumb out but I pitied my sister who’d be left alone. It was more than a hundred pieces of clothes! After 2 hours of folding clothes, it was finally finished. It was already 12 noon and with my head really heavy, we already left for lunch.
We had lunch in one of the huts there outside. It didn’t give me any relief at all since there was a foul smell. We later found out that it was the handicapped’s room that was adjacent to the hut. Hence, my headache only turned worse and worse even though I had drunk medicine already. I decided to rest in the living room first without doing anything but my Rosary prayer.
Thankfully, I was relived after praying the Rosary. As my head became quite normal, I joined my sister already in tutoring the kids. But they insisted on playing. And so we did. Their games were very simple and poor. No scrabbles or chess but just piece of rocks and a small marble (one that resembles those in Chinese checkers). I had no idea of how to play it and so I’ve to ask first. Gradually, I learned and happily played with them. It’s really wonderful to see their ingenuity just to have something to play with.
Our 2nd day began with a visit to the nearby chapel first. It was our mother who discovered that there was a novitiate within the grounds and hence an open big chapel was built. We also brought the kids here and found out that this is where the kids gather to hear Mass on Sundays. Here, we thought of touring the novitiate’s vast grounds. Of course, we weren’t able to go inside the main premises of the novitiate as it is not allowed. The kids pointed to us the novitiate’s chicken farm and we’re able to see their dogs too. Some were in cages and some were looming around but all of them were in unison in barking at us. It caught the attention of one of the religious there and we apologized for the disturbance. He was quite happy anyway to see that there were students taking care of their orphans. Also, the kids helped us in going to the 3 Crosses that were built in the hilltop. It was majestic. I also found out through my own wanderings some old and broken but precious picture frames depicting the priesthood life of St. Paul of the Cross. It was placed in one of the hills there but it seemed neglected already. Here, I tried to teach the kids about the sanctity of life. There were also Stations of the Cross all around the novitiate’s ground but it’s the modern Stations.
Anyways, we continued on tutoring them how to write and color stuffs. Sometimes, they just wouldn’t listen and draw or write something we didn’t ask them to do. I sensed that maybe it’s their way of letting us know that they’re tired of studying. So, we had a give and take process. And in the long end, it worked out.
We decided to have lunch on the beautiful hut which is just a few meters from the chapel and in front of the novitiate. Actually, we already planned it earlier when we first visited the chapel. Even though it was a 10 minute walk from the orphanage, it was well deserving. The lush green trees and the soft wind blowing pure air on us were terrific. We truly enjoyed the scenery as we ate lunch. Afterwards, we thought of spending the rest of our break praying inside the chapel.
At 1pm we walk towards the orphanage and found the 2 playing as usual. We joined them while at the same time we gave them lessons to study. We also informed them the need to pray in the chapel later on. They kept on playing around but we persisted and managed to bring them in the chapel. Inside we taught them how to genuflect, make the Sign of the Cross and pray the basic prayers. They’re indeed familiar with those prayers but sometimes they failed to complete it. After that and bringing them back to the house, we cleaned any mess around and the clock struck 4. It was time to go.
During our 3rd and final day, my mother brought them gifts and Rosaries too. They were very excited but we told them they have to go to the chapel first before opening them. This time we also brought the handicapped boy as our mother thought so. She was the one who pushed his wheelchair all the way. This boy is only 17 and had a cerebral palsy ever since the orphanage took him. I tried to teach him about Pedro Calungsod of which there lay a book about him. I explained to him of how this Filipino martyr died for our Faith but he just couldn’t comprehend. Plus, he always talks nonsense and mimics everything he sees in us. I tried to tell him that’s not right but it’s useless. I really pitied this guy.
Anyways, this day we had other students from a different school. They too did work there and helped in teaching the kids. However, they decided to leave around 2pm. As the day progressed, my sister thought of cleaning the jalousies of the children’s room. Then after her, it was my turn. The 3 students cleaned other rooms as well.
When lunch time came, we left for our hut while the others left for the mall nearby. As usual, we prayed inside the chapel again after eating lunch. After our break, we returned and gave in to their play as this was our last day. Still, we never forget to teach them about God. We visited the chapel and prayed with them again. Since it was Lent, there were many people doing the Stations and it gave them a deeper sense of holiness. I know that 3 days weren’t enough to mold a child’s heart to sanctity yet I also know that we did our best. We leave to God everything now. As St. Augustine rightly puts it, work as though all depended upon yourself and hope as though all depended upon God.
Oh Lord my God, Thou hast said, “Suffer the little children to come unto Me and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.” Grant that Thou move Thy priests to teach these little ones Thy loving ways so that in the long run they may accept Thy sweet Cross! Amen.
A Date to Remember (October 20, 2010, Wednesday)
March 8 was something worth remembering over and over again for it was the date of His Excellency Bp. Fellay’s visit in GenSan. I was lucky enough that we had no class and blessed still for being able to persuade my family to join me.
Phela Grande Hotel was the venue chosen for the bishop’s Mass and conference. And when we came there, I asked one of the faithful if the bishop was staying on the same hotel. The reply I got was no. He was in Sydney Hotel which is located very near on a Catholic Church run by the Passionist priests. I wonder if His Excellency got to see it from his hotel window.
About 45 minutes later, as we were seated already waiting for the Mass to commence, I was trying to search if His Excellency has arrived already. And as my head turned around, I saw the bishop smiling as he was being surrounded by the faithful to ask for his blessing. It was my first time to see him personally and he was very much like the photos I’ve seen of him - a cheerful bishop who’s fond of taking pictures. Once, I read that he was dubbed as an amateur photographer. Indeed, he had a camera on hand and took pictures around and about.
He was a down to earth bishop but full of wisdom when he speaks. During his hour long sermon, the bishop used simple metaphors to explain sophisticated matters regarding the Faith. His voice was gentle yet his manners showed an air of determination. He taught the importance of living the Faith even if it meant a lot of sacrifices. He also didn’t forget to thank the faithful for their participation of the Rosary Crusade. The bishop also encouraged everyone to be always prayerful and watchful that the devil may not caught us off guard.
After Mass, there he was praying the Divine Office kneeling in one of the corner there but in front of the Crucifix. I was awed on this gesture that I took a picture of this. Now, it is preserved on my computer photo album. Anyways, dinner was later served and everybody had a hearty meal. The bishop was on an elevated platform together with the only priest present Fr. Ghela and other ranking persons too. After dinner, it was learned that there wouldn’t be any conference already due to time constraint. It was already 10pm and instead they opted for a picture taking with the bishop. When our turn came, I handed something to His Excellency and asked for his signature. He was beaming with joy as he readily granted my request and signed an autograph.
It was indeed a wonderful night. Having met the SSPX Superior General face to face, I was confident that the Society is in good hands. Truly, His Excellency is a man of prayer with a sound prudence. The few hours I’ve spent with him were enough to convince anyone that the Society was right in voting for him as their head once again. For if the head is virtuous, it naturally follows that the body would be virtuous too. And more often than not, experience proves this to be true.
Critics say that the Superior General has been extreme in both sides. Novus Ordo Catholics state that he is rigid in not giving up to Vatican II while sedevacantists condemn his continued negotiations with the Vatican officials. Neither charge is true. He is simply doing what God wants him to do so that God’s will be done on earth as it is Heaven. This may not be popular but it is rightly so. The late Arbp. Lefebvre must be smiling to His Excellency these days. For even though the tempest winds blow, his Society is fastened in chains of Rosaries and Holy Masses wherein there dwell pious religious men and women consecrated to God and the Blessed Virgin Mary.
Oh Lord my God, Thou alone knowest when the moment will come when all Thy people will worship Thee in the right way. I ask that Thou give the Society ample strength to persevere till that time comes! Amen.
Phela Grande Hotel was the venue chosen for the bishop’s Mass and conference. And when we came there, I asked one of the faithful if the bishop was staying on the same hotel. The reply I got was no. He was in Sydney Hotel which is located very near on a Catholic Church run by the Passionist priests. I wonder if His Excellency got to see it from his hotel window.
About 45 minutes later, as we were seated already waiting for the Mass to commence, I was trying to search if His Excellency has arrived already. And as my head turned around, I saw the bishop smiling as he was being surrounded by the faithful to ask for his blessing. It was my first time to see him personally and he was very much like the photos I’ve seen of him - a cheerful bishop who’s fond of taking pictures. Once, I read that he was dubbed as an amateur photographer. Indeed, he had a camera on hand and took pictures around and about.
He was a down to earth bishop but full of wisdom when he speaks. During his hour long sermon, the bishop used simple metaphors to explain sophisticated matters regarding the Faith. His voice was gentle yet his manners showed an air of determination. He taught the importance of living the Faith even if it meant a lot of sacrifices. He also didn’t forget to thank the faithful for their participation of the Rosary Crusade. The bishop also encouraged everyone to be always prayerful and watchful that the devil may not caught us off guard.
After Mass, there he was praying the Divine Office kneeling in one of the corner there but in front of the Crucifix. I was awed on this gesture that I took a picture of this. Now, it is preserved on my computer photo album. Anyways, dinner was later served and everybody had a hearty meal. The bishop was on an elevated platform together with the only priest present Fr. Ghela and other ranking persons too. After dinner, it was learned that there wouldn’t be any conference already due to time constraint. It was already 10pm and instead they opted for a picture taking with the bishop. When our turn came, I handed something to His Excellency and asked for his signature. He was beaming with joy as he readily granted my request and signed an autograph.
It was indeed a wonderful night. Having met the SSPX Superior General face to face, I was confident that the Society is in good hands. Truly, His Excellency is a man of prayer with a sound prudence. The few hours I’ve spent with him were enough to convince anyone that the Society was right in voting for him as their head once again. For if the head is virtuous, it naturally follows that the body would be virtuous too. And more often than not, experience proves this to be true.
Critics say that the Superior General has been extreme in both sides. Novus Ordo Catholics state that he is rigid in not giving up to Vatican II while sedevacantists condemn his continued negotiations with the Vatican officials. Neither charge is true. He is simply doing what God wants him to do so that God’s will be done on earth as it is Heaven. This may not be popular but it is rightly so. The late Arbp. Lefebvre must be smiling to His Excellency these days. For even though the tempest winds blow, his Society is fastened in chains of Rosaries and Holy Masses wherein there dwell pious religious men and women consecrated to God and the Blessed Virgin Mary.
Oh Lord my God, Thou alone knowest when the moment will come when all Thy people will worship Thee in the right way. I ask that Thou give the Society ample strength to persevere till that time comes! Amen.
Friday, October 15, 2010
GenSan City Hospital aka Emergency
We set out for our 5 day (every weekends) hospital exposure and here our CI was our teacher already. Stationed at the OB ward, our duty starts from 7am and ends on 3pm. We were comprised of 14 female students - 11 Healthcare students and 3 Caregiver students.
The ward is very much poorly situated and our patients’ beds were already close to each other. It was like having 4 rows with 7 beds on each. That is why, our CI didn’t mind the language barrier for us since we can always ask our co-students nearby. Some didn’t have enough windows for ventilation and many IV poles were made of wood. When I complained to our CI of the situation, she told me that most wards are like that and this isn’t unlikely. Actually, the ward had extended even to the extent of using the hallway for other patients. Oh well, maybe I wasn’t used to the Philippine hospital wards.
Anyways, we were assigned with 2 patients each. Basically, our main work is to do vital signs every 7am, 11am, and 2pm. The rest was spent on cleaning the area, changing dextrose, and sometimes terminating infusions.e were also informed to stay with the patient as long as possible to assist them in any way we can. Hence, we only had a 30 minute lunch break as our group was divided into 2 so as to enable endorsing our patients to one another.
My first patient was operated and I had to record her VS every 15 minutes. The next morning when we returned, she was quite normal already as she already recognizes us and the people around her but still she was NPO. Then there was a patient who had a caesarian for the first time. Another one was a mother for the first time and gave birth to a healthy but underweight baby boy. And others had a problem with their internal organs and needed operation. Sometimes, doctors would do their rounds and checked their condition. This had become our day like in the hospital and it was stressful once more. Most of the time we had to remain standing for there were no chairs available other than for their relatives. The various kinds of sickness around plus the odor the ward emits can truly suffocate the person giving assistance. The best remedy here is to think positive yet logical as well. Of course, we also need God. And oftentimes, I’ve prayed mentally there.
There was a patient of mine who had a ligation after having cesarean birth. I was shocked to hear this as I know she’s Catholic. Yet I made it to the point that she didn’t recognize my dismay. As I had finished recording all my patients’ VS, I noticed that she’s still bleeding from her operation last night. Plus, she didn’t have a binder. We then asked her husband to buy her one so we could place it on her. Afterwards, our CI asked for another student to assist me in placing the binder and luckily, we made it. Our hands were spilled with blood so we had to leave the ward to wash our hands first. On my staying with this patient, she narrated to me that she chose to have a ligation already after having a son born already. But this baby had a cleft lip and that it still needed an operation. She was asking me why God did this to her. But I simply remained silent and listened only. For I couldn’t tell her that what she did was wrong but neither could I encourage her of her actions. I was indeed in a dilemma here. Of course, it easy to say flat on her face that she committed a grave sin, but as a healthcare student, we were taught to empower our patient’s recovery. Hence, I cannot do so for it would definitely affect her recuperation. It really left me quite motionless.
This incident kept on recalling to my mind every now and then. I didn’t know if what I did was right or wrong in God’s eyes. Did I make the right decision on remaining silent? Or did it seem that I approved of it by my silence? It was taught in the book that if it’s against the health professional’s faith, it’s better to ask for a replacement. I guess I should have done that. Then again, we were already crowded and it’s not easy asking for a favor. Somehow, I know I tried my best in keeping my duty both to God and men.
Oh Blessed Virgin, help me always in my dally life. Grant that in every circumstance, I may always do God’s ways! Amen.
The ward is very much poorly situated and our patients’ beds were already close to each other. It was like having 4 rows with 7 beds on each. That is why, our CI didn’t mind the language barrier for us since we can always ask our co-students nearby. Some didn’t have enough windows for ventilation and many IV poles were made of wood. When I complained to our CI of the situation, she told me that most wards are like that and this isn’t unlikely. Actually, the ward had extended even to the extent of using the hallway for other patients. Oh well, maybe I wasn’t used to the Philippine hospital wards.
Anyways, we were assigned with 2 patients each. Basically, our main work is to do vital signs every 7am, 11am, and 2pm. The rest was spent on cleaning the area, changing dextrose, and sometimes terminating infusions.e were also informed to stay with the patient as long as possible to assist them in any way we can. Hence, we only had a 30 minute lunch break as our group was divided into 2 so as to enable endorsing our patients to one another.
My first patient was operated and I had to record her VS every 15 minutes. The next morning when we returned, she was quite normal already as she already recognizes us and the people around her but still she was NPO. Then there was a patient who had a caesarian for the first time. Another one was a mother for the first time and gave birth to a healthy but underweight baby boy. And others had a problem with their internal organs and needed operation. Sometimes, doctors would do their rounds and checked their condition. This had become our day like in the hospital and it was stressful once more. Most of the time we had to remain standing for there were no chairs available other than for their relatives. The various kinds of sickness around plus the odor the ward emits can truly suffocate the person giving assistance. The best remedy here is to think positive yet logical as well. Of course, we also need God. And oftentimes, I’ve prayed mentally there.
There was a patient of mine who had a ligation after having cesarean birth. I was shocked to hear this as I know she’s Catholic. Yet I made it to the point that she didn’t recognize my dismay. As I had finished recording all my patients’ VS, I noticed that she’s still bleeding from her operation last night. Plus, she didn’t have a binder. We then asked her husband to buy her one so we could place it on her. Afterwards, our CI asked for another student to assist me in placing the binder and luckily, we made it. Our hands were spilled with blood so we had to leave the ward to wash our hands first. On my staying with this patient, she narrated to me that she chose to have a ligation already after having a son born already. But this baby had a cleft lip and that it still needed an operation. She was asking me why God did this to her. But I simply remained silent and listened only. For I couldn’t tell her that what she did was wrong but neither could I encourage her of her actions. I was indeed in a dilemma here. Of course, it easy to say flat on her face that she committed a grave sin, but as a healthcare student, we were taught to empower our patient’s recovery. Hence, I cannot do so for it would definitely affect her recuperation. It really left me quite motionless.
This incident kept on recalling to my mind every now and then. I didn’t know if what I did was right or wrong in God’s eyes. Did I make the right decision on remaining silent? Or did it seem that I approved of it by my silence? It was taught in the book that if it’s against the health professional’s faith, it’s better to ask for a replacement. I guess I should have done that. Then again, we were already crowded and it’s not easy asking for a favor. Somehow, I know I tried my best in keeping my duty both to God and men.
Oh Blessed Virgin, help me always in my dally life. Grant that in every circumstance, I may always do God’s ways! Amen.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Baranggay Tinago, San Isidro (September 24, 2010, Friday)
This was the place chosen for our community service exposure. Tinago is the Tagalog word for hidden and it indeed expressed its unseen location. It was a sort of wilderness and most houses there were built only through planks of tree leaves. The place was indeed tough to locate and one can get easily lost if you’re not familiar. Going there, one could find a great disparity with the nearby subdivision. The famous Camella homes were also situtated in San Isidro and it was beyond doubt a big contrast. The comparison is like between a majestic palace and our Lord’s Bethlehem.
Our teacher was supposed to be the CI but there was a last minute change. It turned out that our CI was a registered midwife. Along with 3 other Midwifery students, we headed out to San Isidro. We were 6 girls all in all as the other one was late but managed to join us.
After paying a visit to the baranggay hall to inform them of our presence, we walked towards Baranggay Tinago with our host. And upon arriving, there were plenty of children roaming around. Our CI talked to their parents/guardians and told them of our stay from 8 am to 4 pm to teach them ways of improving their lives into healthy ones. We were divided into 3 pairs and here again, my sister and I split due to language barriers.
During the morning, our CI told us to do blood pressure on the people while at the same time do a bit of interview of their life. So, we searched out for them and some agreed and some declined. On our interview and observing them, I noticed that most of them have their TV’s on. They’re really glued on that and yet they’re also poor. They do not have commercial water and rely only in the flowing water there. This was a sad scenario. For it appears to me that they simply divert their being poorness in merely watching TV’s. These people truly need Catholic evangelization since I learned that most of them are Catholics. One can actually get a hunch by simply looking at their houses - they have little statues of the Infant Prague and other blessed pictures of the Jesus and Mary. Some even have the blessed Palms of the Lenten Season. Anyways, after our searched was finished and it’s nearing 12 noon already, we decided to have a lunch. After all, it was really exhausting. Having a door to door approach was not easy since the scorching heat was around. If we were to check our own blood pressure, I guess we’d fall into the high blood category already!
We ate lunch on the house of our host who was kind enough to lend us their hut for our belongings as well. This had become our headquarters. However, this place was truly unimaginable. On the house’s side, there was a piggery and some chickens too. Coming from a well established place, I wasn’t used to this and much more of their flowing water that was on a ground level. I learned that they also take bath there. Here, we washed our hands and did toothbrush. We also washed the dishes they shared with us and it was really a challenge. There was neither faucet nor sink - just a little countertop. I was getting clumsy but it was something that needed to be overcome. Fortunately, I got over with it with much patience (and grin).
After lunch break and preparing our schedule while at the same time resting, our CI told us to explore the community even more so as to continue our blood pressure and interview program. Armed with our BP apparatus, notepads, and pen, we treaded once again. And on our exploring, we were able to have a sight seeing of the vast lands of Mindanao - full of crops and beast of burden. It was like seeing Mindanao from a hill since the road we strolled was stirred upwards. Indeed, Mindanao is rich with bountiful soils and it’s such disheartening that its name is notoriously associated with war and strife.
Much as I wanted to glimpse more, it ended shortly for we have a work to do. But on the way, we also saw herbal plants that are quite helpful to the community and so we listed them as well on our notepads. Anyways, we succeeded in hunting out for the people. Some were resting, others watching, and few were laundering clothes. We talked to them about health and of what their way of living is. One of the interview lists is about family planning and contraception. Our CI is quite modernist here since she insisted on asking it to each and every person and even encouraged its use. Most of the people do not practice contraceptives yet but she was adamant on it saying that it will result on a “good” life. I wish I could stand out but I can’t. The only thing I can do is to remain silent for that’s the current mode of teaching by our head. How ironical for she is a Catholic but her teachings were truly against the Faith.
The second day began with gardening - collecting garbage, raking, and sweeping everything that’s a mess in the ground. Actually, we managed to clean their so called garbage area and put it in sacks so as not to have a port of germs. In this example, we showed them that cleanliness is the first part of having a healthy life. After that, we had a lunch break. Gardening left us almost extinguished for we returned on the hut panting for water and indeed very dirty. After lunch, our companions had a siesta while my sister and I prayed since we couldn’t really get a siesta there.
We were expected to have a 5-day activity there but it was cut short as there was a problem with the CI. She was always late and sometimes asked us to go there by ourselves all alone. This didn’t go well with our mother and so the 2nd day was our last. In our brief stay, it was still a blessing to meet them. I remember how during our livelihood project, we were cooking banana chips for them and the kids instantly grabbed then even though it’s still fresh and hot from the pan. This proved how hungry they were and we always sympathized with them.
I always admire the children there for they’re always cheerful even if their lives turned out poor. This rang a bell to me of Bp. Williamson’s observation of our unfortunate people. He commented and praised them - “the poorer they are, the happier they are.” Undeniably it was. I once saw a child playing with a make shift horse ride. Perhaps, his father made it for him. Playing with them was also amusing since they’re very active. We giggled with them and taught them how to participate on a team. Then, one student asked me to replace her in leading a prayer for the kids since she was a Muslim. I taught them how to pray before meals and most of them already knew the proper Sign of the Cross. It was really breathtaking and sometimes it was enough to dissuade the tiredness that’s lingering already on my whole body.
It was a blessing in disguise that we left already for I really couldn’t bear our CI. I could have ended having a head on collision debate with her ultra modernist thinking when it comes to family planning issue. Yet, when we met our friends at school during our CPR session, they told us that the community missed us and even they admitted of missing our company. Perhaps, when I get the opportunity I shall visit them someday again armed with all the necessary things needed for their sanctification.
Oh Our Lady of Ransom, please protect them from the snares of the devil. I ask that thou keep them for thy Son’s sake and grant that they may soon come to realize the true sense of our Catholic Faith! Amen.
Our teacher was supposed to be the CI but there was a last minute change. It turned out that our CI was a registered midwife. Along with 3 other Midwifery students, we headed out to San Isidro. We were 6 girls all in all as the other one was late but managed to join us.
After paying a visit to the baranggay hall to inform them of our presence, we walked towards Baranggay Tinago with our host. And upon arriving, there were plenty of children roaming around. Our CI talked to their parents/guardians and told them of our stay from 8 am to 4 pm to teach them ways of improving their lives into healthy ones. We were divided into 3 pairs and here again, my sister and I split due to language barriers.
During the morning, our CI told us to do blood pressure on the people while at the same time do a bit of interview of their life. So, we searched out for them and some agreed and some declined. On our interview and observing them, I noticed that most of them have their TV’s on. They’re really glued on that and yet they’re also poor. They do not have commercial water and rely only in the flowing water there. This was a sad scenario. For it appears to me that they simply divert their being poorness in merely watching TV’s. These people truly need Catholic evangelization since I learned that most of them are Catholics. One can actually get a hunch by simply looking at their houses - they have little statues of the Infant Prague and other blessed pictures of the Jesus and Mary. Some even have the blessed Palms of the Lenten Season. Anyways, after our searched was finished and it’s nearing 12 noon already, we decided to have a lunch. After all, it was really exhausting. Having a door to door approach was not easy since the scorching heat was around. If we were to check our own blood pressure, I guess we’d fall into the high blood category already!
We ate lunch on the house of our host who was kind enough to lend us their hut for our belongings as well. This had become our headquarters. However, this place was truly unimaginable. On the house’s side, there was a piggery and some chickens too. Coming from a well established place, I wasn’t used to this and much more of their flowing water that was on a ground level. I learned that they also take bath there. Here, we washed our hands and did toothbrush. We also washed the dishes they shared with us and it was really a challenge. There was neither faucet nor sink - just a little countertop. I was getting clumsy but it was something that needed to be overcome. Fortunately, I got over with it with much patience (and grin).
After lunch break and preparing our schedule while at the same time resting, our CI told us to explore the community even more so as to continue our blood pressure and interview program. Armed with our BP apparatus, notepads, and pen, we treaded once again. And on our exploring, we were able to have a sight seeing of the vast lands of Mindanao - full of crops and beast of burden. It was like seeing Mindanao from a hill since the road we strolled was stirred upwards. Indeed, Mindanao is rich with bountiful soils and it’s such disheartening that its name is notoriously associated with war and strife.
Much as I wanted to glimpse more, it ended shortly for we have a work to do. But on the way, we also saw herbal plants that are quite helpful to the community and so we listed them as well on our notepads. Anyways, we succeeded in hunting out for the people. Some were resting, others watching, and few were laundering clothes. We talked to them about health and of what their way of living is. One of the interview lists is about family planning and contraception. Our CI is quite modernist here since she insisted on asking it to each and every person and even encouraged its use. Most of the people do not practice contraceptives yet but she was adamant on it saying that it will result on a “good” life. I wish I could stand out but I can’t. The only thing I can do is to remain silent for that’s the current mode of teaching by our head. How ironical for she is a Catholic but her teachings were truly against the Faith.
The second day began with gardening - collecting garbage, raking, and sweeping everything that’s a mess in the ground. Actually, we managed to clean their so called garbage area and put it in sacks so as not to have a port of germs. In this example, we showed them that cleanliness is the first part of having a healthy life. After that, we had a lunch break. Gardening left us almost extinguished for we returned on the hut panting for water and indeed very dirty. After lunch, our companions had a siesta while my sister and I prayed since we couldn’t really get a siesta there.
We were expected to have a 5-day activity there but it was cut short as there was a problem with the CI. She was always late and sometimes asked us to go there by ourselves all alone. This didn’t go well with our mother and so the 2nd day was our last. In our brief stay, it was still a blessing to meet them. I remember how during our livelihood project, we were cooking banana chips for them and the kids instantly grabbed then even though it’s still fresh and hot from the pan. This proved how hungry they were and we always sympathized with them.
I always admire the children there for they’re always cheerful even if their lives turned out poor. This rang a bell to me of Bp. Williamson’s observation of our unfortunate people. He commented and praised them - “the poorer they are, the happier they are.” Undeniably it was. I once saw a child playing with a make shift horse ride. Perhaps, his father made it for him. Playing with them was also amusing since they’re very active. We giggled with them and taught them how to participate on a team. Then, one student asked me to replace her in leading a prayer for the kids since she was a Muslim. I taught them how to pray before meals and most of them already knew the proper Sign of the Cross. It was really breathtaking and sometimes it was enough to dissuade the tiredness that’s lingering already on my whole body.
It was a blessing in disguise that we left already for I really couldn’t bear our CI. I could have ended having a head on collision debate with her ultra modernist thinking when it comes to family planning issue. Yet, when we met our friends at school during our CPR session, they told us that the community missed us and even they admitted of missing our company. Perhaps, when I get the opportunity I shall visit them someday again armed with all the necessary things needed for their sanctification.
Oh Our Lady of Ransom, please protect them from the snares of the devil. I ask that thou keep them for thy Son’s sake and grant that they may soon come to realize the true sense of our Catholic Faith! Amen.
Our Lady of Refuge - Dangpanan Rehabilitation Center (September 22, 2010, Wednesday)
Our CI told us beforehand to research all about the work of drugs in people who abuse it. We were also taught how to manage those who’re on the process of recuperating to a normal life once again.
The location was far from the hub of the city and it took us about 30 minutes to travel there. The surroundings were really barren and the road was quite untouched by any human innovation save by the pavement that resulted from the various kind of transportation trekking there. Our group consisted of 10 Healthcare students - 8 girls and 2 boys and we were scheduled to be there from 8 am to 4 pm. When we arrived, I felt like it had the atmosphere of a seminary. Inside, there were only 6-8 men and most are on their mid 20’s. Of course, there was a supervisor but I learned that they’re the ones who wash dishes, launder clothes, and clean the bathroom themselves. Yes, here they’re beginning to learn once again those old usual routines that they’d left behind in exchange of getting high on drugs.
It was indeed good to see that they’re now safe from those harmful drugs and better still to know that they never actually committed any worst crime at all. But there is still something hanging on from their past lives. Some of their voices still had a slurred speech and a few doesn’t even want to talk with us. Many stared and - it seems - admired our being in the state of normality. Here, we showed them by deeds and words that they too can become independent and happy if they cooperate and participate rightly from the rules of the institution.
There was a guy who wasn’t able to join us since he’s still quite violent. The drugs are still quite present in his body since he’d use vulgar words and shout at us every time he sees us around. He’s just about my age and how I pity that his life turned out badly.
Anyways, after a short introduction, we proceeded to the school’s morning program. We provided them papers, pencils, and crayons to let them draw what they feel inside their inner selves. It’s like cracking the ice here and we befriended them, asking about what they want to do when they already left this house. We also guided them to color the right color on the right drawing. In my case, I helped him do that while at the same time guided him to write the correct letters. Actually, there were 2 students per patient and since my sister and I couldn’t speak nor understand Ilonggo very much, it was decided that we separated and have different partners. After an hour of drawing, we switched to playing a game that was loud and funny. We were divided into 2 groups and so were our patients too. During the first game, our group won. Lunch came and finally, we’re able to rest in their huts located within their big grounds. Here, we were able to share one another’s experience. And our CI kept on reminding us to be patient and the effects of drugs as well. Then, we had a few rest and prepared ourselves for the afternoon program. 1 pm came and we’re braced once again to help them have a normal life. We played, laughed, and talked to them as if we were their siblings never minding our status in life. We focused on their strong side and aided their weakness. It was really hard for us since we exerted every effort to make them comfortable and feel loved in our presence. We initiated indoor and outdoor games so as to enhance their capability of logical thinking. All these we did while at the same time there was intermission of prayer inside their little chapel.
During our 2nd and last day, we’re already experiencing terrible muscle aches. We laughed on how we had barely slept due to fatigue. As a matter of fact, I was sick during those days since I got a cold but still managed to go on.
The day went better as we were already familiar with them and this time, they’re much friendlier. Talking to us became natural to them already and it seems they can now call us their friends. We continued with our programs and the result was a burst of laughter and happiness. Since it was already the culmination day, we taught them how to make a living through paper folding then designing it to make it a flower. The last hour was spent in giving presents and foods and we even sang for them. We also visited the guy who wasn’t able to join us in his cell. Through a grilled bar, we gave him foods and talked to him. He was quite getting calmer now and we stayed with him till he was back again talking nonsense. He had a flight of ideas as our CI used to say to us and we quietly left him already. Anyways, the last speech was assigned to me and I encouraged them to persevere and keep hoping for the better. And to lead a God fearing life for it’s the only way that’s worth leading through after all.
As we parted, I hoped for the best. That even though we may never see again, I trust that God will do the rest in caring for them. There was a little grotto outside and it was there I entrusted to Our Lady all those who reside there to have a sanctifying life.
Oh Blessed Virgin Mary, do thou always assist them. As they recuperate, help them to realize that life is indeed valuable and that God gave wishes it to be sacred all the time! Amen.
The location was far from the hub of the city and it took us about 30 minutes to travel there. The surroundings were really barren and the road was quite untouched by any human innovation save by the pavement that resulted from the various kind of transportation trekking there. Our group consisted of 10 Healthcare students - 8 girls and 2 boys and we were scheduled to be there from 8 am to 4 pm. When we arrived, I felt like it had the atmosphere of a seminary. Inside, there were only 6-8 men and most are on their mid 20’s. Of course, there was a supervisor but I learned that they’re the ones who wash dishes, launder clothes, and clean the bathroom themselves. Yes, here they’re beginning to learn once again those old usual routines that they’d left behind in exchange of getting high on drugs.
It was indeed good to see that they’re now safe from those harmful drugs and better still to know that they never actually committed any worst crime at all. But there is still something hanging on from their past lives. Some of their voices still had a slurred speech and a few doesn’t even want to talk with us. Many stared and - it seems - admired our being in the state of normality. Here, we showed them by deeds and words that they too can become independent and happy if they cooperate and participate rightly from the rules of the institution.
There was a guy who wasn’t able to join us since he’s still quite violent. The drugs are still quite present in his body since he’d use vulgar words and shout at us every time he sees us around. He’s just about my age and how I pity that his life turned out badly.
Anyways, after a short introduction, we proceeded to the school’s morning program. We provided them papers, pencils, and crayons to let them draw what they feel inside their inner selves. It’s like cracking the ice here and we befriended them, asking about what they want to do when they already left this house. We also guided them to color the right color on the right drawing. In my case, I helped him do that while at the same time guided him to write the correct letters. Actually, there were 2 students per patient and since my sister and I couldn’t speak nor understand Ilonggo very much, it was decided that we separated and have different partners. After an hour of drawing, we switched to playing a game that was loud and funny. We were divided into 2 groups and so were our patients too. During the first game, our group won. Lunch came and finally, we’re able to rest in their huts located within their big grounds. Here, we were able to share one another’s experience. And our CI kept on reminding us to be patient and the effects of drugs as well. Then, we had a few rest and prepared ourselves for the afternoon program. 1 pm came and we’re braced once again to help them have a normal life. We played, laughed, and talked to them as if we were their siblings never minding our status in life. We focused on their strong side and aided their weakness. It was really hard for us since we exerted every effort to make them comfortable and feel loved in our presence. We initiated indoor and outdoor games so as to enhance their capability of logical thinking. All these we did while at the same time there was intermission of prayer inside their little chapel.
During our 2nd and last day, we’re already experiencing terrible muscle aches. We laughed on how we had barely slept due to fatigue. As a matter of fact, I was sick during those days since I got a cold but still managed to go on.
The day went better as we were already familiar with them and this time, they’re much friendlier. Talking to us became natural to them already and it seems they can now call us their friends. We continued with our programs and the result was a burst of laughter and happiness. Since it was already the culmination day, we taught them how to make a living through paper folding then designing it to make it a flower. The last hour was spent in giving presents and foods and we even sang for them. We also visited the guy who wasn’t able to join us in his cell. Through a grilled bar, we gave him foods and talked to him. He was quite getting calmer now and we stayed with him till he was back again talking nonsense. He had a flight of ideas as our CI used to say to us and we quietly left him already. Anyways, the last speech was assigned to me and I encouraged them to persevere and keep hoping for the better. And to lead a God fearing life for it’s the only way that’s worth leading through after all.
As we parted, I hoped for the best. That even though we may never see again, I trust that God will do the rest in caring for them. There was a little grotto outside and it was there I entrusted to Our Lady all those who reside there to have a sanctifying life.
Oh Blessed Virgin Mary, do thou always assist them. As they recuperate, help them to realize that life is indeed valuable and that God gave wishes it to be sacred all the time! Amen.
My life as a Healthcare Student (September 22, 2010, Wednesday)
It was partly exhausting and exciting at the same time.
Exhausting since we have to commute almost everyday from Koronadal to GenSan. Sometimes, only getting a few hours of sleep. Plus, having to wear white uniforms, it was difficult. During my first days, it was a mess as I returned home with spots here or there. Gradually, I learned the art of maintaining its spotless e.g. checking first your seat before sitting on and taking care of your bag not to get soiled.
Exciting since I never thought I’d instantly fell in love with nursing. It is quite similar on being a nun - only a bit liberal but has the same essence of forgetting one’s self and learning to put yourself to other souls. What’s more, our teacher was very friendly and can be likened to just an older sister. She eventually became our CI as well. And another thing is that one of the school’s instructors is a long time SSPX traditionalist. This is really a bonus! We’d always greet each other whenever we happened to bumped by each other. Once, she even accompanied us in our lunch and had a chit chat.
Anyways, during our short classroom sessions, we were taught to do vital signs and other nursing duties e.g. handwashing, PPE, and bedmaking to name a few. This curriculum also included other related learning experience and a 5 different exposures so as to allow more real life nursing situation and to enhance the field of study.
Summing it up, this experience left a different kind of sensation to me. It reminded me how blessed I am still to have a life that’s worth calling a good life. It gave me more compassion for the infirm for truly, a sick person need not just warmth but a lending ear to talk to. And lastly, it taught me even more how God is all omnipotent - that in each and every situation, He is there holding and guiding each and every one for His greater honor and glory.
Oh Lord my God, grant that all who seek Thy help earnestly may soon find comfort. Teach us to love the life that Thou hast bestowed on us and to make good on it. Grant that as we journey along the way, the Blessed Virgin will lead us to doing Thy will! Amen.
Exhausting since we have to commute almost everyday from Koronadal to GenSan. Sometimes, only getting a few hours of sleep. Plus, having to wear white uniforms, it was difficult. During my first days, it was a mess as I returned home with spots here or there. Gradually, I learned the art of maintaining its spotless e.g. checking first your seat before sitting on and taking care of your bag not to get soiled.
Exciting since I never thought I’d instantly fell in love with nursing. It is quite similar on being a nun - only a bit liberal but has the same essence of forgetting one’s self and learning to put yourself to other souls. What’s more, our teacher was very friendly and can be likened to just an older sister. She eventually became our CI as well. And another thing is that one of the school’s instructors is a long time SSPX traditionalist. This is really a bonus! We’d always greet each other whenever we happened to bumped by each other. Once, she even accompanied us in our lunch and had a chit chat.
Anyways, during our short classroom sessions, we were taught to do vital signs and other nursing duties e.g. handwashing, PPE, and bedmaking to name a few. This curriculum also included other related learning experience and a 5 different exposures so as to allow more real life nursing situation and to enhance the field of study.
Summing it up, this experience left a different kind of sensation to me. It reminded me how blessed I am still to have a life that’s worth calling a good life. It gave me more compassion for the infirm for truly, a sick person need not just warmth but a lending ear to talk to. And lastly, it taught me even more how God is all omnipotent - that in each and every situation, He is there holding and guiding each and every one for His greater honor and glory.
Oh Lord my God, grant that all who seek Thy help earnestly may soon find comfort. Teach us to love the life that Thou hast bestowed on us and to make good on it. Grant that as we journey along the way, the Blessed Virgin will lead us to doing Thy will! Amen.
Back again (September 21, 2010, Tuesday)
The last months of 2009 and year 2010 turned out as very busy time for me. My brothers did OJT in GenSan while Christmas tide was hanging around at the same time. When January came, I was due (along with my sister) to study Healthcare Services NCII in GenSan. It was to last until the end of March. Then on April, I was burnt out studying the book of Kozier and Erb’s Fundamentals of Nursing. May saw the departure of my eldest brother to Manila; the beginning of Healthcare classes of my other 2 sisters (now they’re preparing for the final test this coming Friday); and my studying of Carl Balita’s nursing review book while at the same time having a part time job (still in GenSan) that lasted till June. July saw me preparing again for another nursing enhancement: Basic IV Therapy in St. Alexius College here in Koronadal City. This month also my brother did another OJT in GenSan till August. Then on September, we were busy again as we prepared for his departure to Manila. And as I was thinking of posting here, I caught a cold and forced me to take a few rest once more. Truly, it left me no time to compose my thoughts till this moment came. Finally, I am slowly recovering and I shall begin to collect those things I want to write here.
Oh my Blessed Virgin Mother, I thank thee for regaining my health again and for giving me the strength to hold on. Please keep me faithful to God till the end! Amen.
Oh my Blessed Virgin Mother, I thank thee for regaining my health again and for giving me the strength to hold on. Please keep me faithful to God till the end! Amen.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
The Catholic Phenomenon (September 12, 2009, Saturday)
Faith without works is dead as St. James admonished in his epistle. And Catholics ought to be the perfect models for every one as the Catholic Church is founded by Christ - the Source of every good. He should be outstanding when it comes to morality and religion. But on the contrary, Catholics these days are the ones who give a far worse model than non-Catholics. It is but a seldom few Catholics who manage to persevere on the true teachings of Our Savior Jesus Christ.
The following article deals about us, Catholics. Written by a Catholic author, it shows how much we Catholics are being wane and lenient. I sometimes asked myself if I am one and if so, how I must fix it the soonest time. I’m now sharing it here for the benefit of my fellow Catholics. In this little way, I hope to awaken a Catholic here or there from a long sleep that’s close to killing the body itself.
My Neighbor
The following article deals about us, Catholics. Written by a Catholic author, it shows how much we Catholics are being wane and lenient. I sometimes asked myself if I am one and if so, how I must fix it the soonest time. I’m now sharing it here for the benefit of my fellow Catholics. In this little way, I hope to awaken a Catholic here or there from a long sleep that’s close to killing the body itself.
My Neighbor
It might startle our confessor if we asked him, “Father, please help me to become a saint.” It might startle us still more if he were to answer, “Who lives next door to you?” No doubt we’d answer that our next-door neighbors were named Jones or Smith or Picklepuss. And we’d wonder what they had to do with our progress in sanctity.
The fact is that too many Catholics - good Catholics, pious Catholics - live a one-sided life. Spiritually one-sided, that is. They are meticulous in avoiding sin, conscientious in prayer, and frequently at Holy Communion. They are engrossed in nurturing a beautiful soul for themselves, but unhappily missing the full implication of the Gospel. They have absorbed well the lesson of the Beatitudes, but they have not balanced that lesson against the Works of Mercy.
The Master was well aware of our human nature’s tendency to selfishness, even in matters of the soul. That is why He hammered away so often at the idea that our attitude toward our neighbor is the true test of our inner health. I am sure that if I had been asked to guess, in advance, how Christ would describe the Last Judgment, I’d have flunked the test completely.
“Come, ye blessed of my Father,” He says, “possess you the kingdom prepared for you.” That much would be easy to guess. It’s on the “becauses” that I’d have tripped up. “Because you were prayerful, and truthful, and chaste; devout, honest and sober.” Something like those would have been my choices. So it is a bit of a shock to listen to Christ’s actual words, especially as they begin to sink in.
“Because I was hungry and you gave Me to eat; I was thirsty and you gave Me to drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; naked and you clothed Me… as long as you did it to one of these My least brethren, you did it to Me!”
So maybe there would be sense, after all, in our confessor’s question: “Who lives next door to you?” And who lives in the house beyond, and in the house across the street? It would be no escape for us to answer that folks next door are hillbillies; that they are fighting with each other half the time and drunk every Saturday night. It would be no defense to say that they belong to some queer sect called the “Church of the undefiled”; that they hate Catholics and that we don’t want anything to do with them. It wouldn’t be our confessor who would answer us. Christ already has done so: “For if you love them that love you, what reward shall you have? Do not even the publicans do this? And if you salute your brethren only, what do you more? Do not even the heathens do this? Be you therefore perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” It is, to say the least, a bit sobering to realize that my spiritual perfection is going to be measured by my attitude toward the man I can’t stand; toward the woman who always gets in my hair; toward the family who has destroyed the peace of the neighborhood.
It is a hard lesson to learn. To realize that the more unlovable my neighbor is the more all out I must go in my efforts to love him. To knock on the back door of “those awful people” and maybe ask to borrow some little thing (since psychologists say the easiest way to make a friend is to ask a favor, rather than to do one). To break down their reserve, and maybe suspicion, with gentle kindness and unobtrusive love. Finding perhaps in the end that the reason they fight and drink is because they are lonesome in a neighborhood where friends are so hard to make.
The reason it is so painful to us is partly because there’s nothing in it for us. There must be nothing in it for us, nothing except the approval of our Master, and that “Kingdom prepared for us,” of which He speaks.
Too often Catholics approach their non-Catholic neighbors with a predatory eye; they wonder how they can be led into the fold; they are disappointed if they balk at coming to the font. But the love of which Christ is speaking must be disinterested enough to transcend even this selfish (if holy) satisfaction. We shall pray for their conversion, certainly; but even more, we must pray for their salvation. The two things are not always coincidental.
I hope that no one will misunderstand me and think that I am belittling personal piety. To praise the rain does not mean that the sun is thereby condemned. The good-works-only type of religion is as bad as the me-and-God-only type.
I am only saying that a man would be an imbecile to spend hours and money in a gymnasium to build up his muscles, then put them to no other use except to flex them before a mirror for his own enjoyment, especially if his neighbor was being crushed to death beneath a heavy weight.
Who lives next door to me? It is Christ!
I once knew a man who did many things which his friends considered foolish. When they would point the finger of criticism at him, he would answer darkly, “I have my reasons.” So if anyone accuses me of harping too much on this theme of fraternal charity, love for my neighbor, I too shall reply, “I have my reasons.”
One of the reasons stems from the sadness I sometimes feel at the thought of how much more powerfully we could be witnesses to Christ, had we but the charity of Christ. We have allowed our non-Catholic brethren to outstrip us in many things that should be characteristic of Christ’s own. The Anglicans have outdone us in their appreciation of, and love for, the liturgy. The Evangelicals have surpassed us in their reverence for, and knowledge of, the Holy Bible. The Witnesses of Jehovah daily us to shame by the fervor of their apostolic, if mistaken, zeal.
And the Quakers, a numerically small and insignificant body, have become synonymous in America with selfless and dedicated devotion to the poor and unfortunate. If our Catholics had the compassion of our outnumbered Quakers, then the modern pagans might exclaim again, as did those of Rome, “See how these Christians love another!” And Christ might reign among us.
The picture, I know, is not all black. We can look around us at the Catholic orphanages and hospitals and homes for the aged, and the steadily increasing amounts given for the home and foreign missions, and for European relief. But we have allowed our charity to become so institutionalized. As though we could answer the question, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” merely by writing a check or dropping a bill in the basket.
A Communist leader once asked the French Dominican, Pere Leow, “Do you mean to tell me that out of all your hearers - who call themselves good Catholics and never dream of missing Mass on Sundays - there would be a single one who would be willing to share his home, if a worker and his family were wandering around this town this very night, without means or shelter?”
That’s almost hitting us below the belt, isn’t it? What would I answer, I wonder, if a man rang my doorbell today, with a wife and a couple of kids by his side? If he said, “Mister, we’ve been evicted and we have no place to go; could you put us up for a couple of days?” Would I answer, “Sure, I’ll sleep on the sofa and you can have my room!” Or would I run to the phone and call the County Welfare to ask what agency I should send them to? Being big-hearted enough, of course, to provide them with carfare to get them to a caseworker’s desk.
Actually, of course, it won’t happen to me. The day has not yet come when a poor man can say with confidence, “I’m sure of getting help here; this is a Catholic family.”
It’s amazing how few of us have ever seen poverty in the raw. Tenements where the rats run across the children’s bed at night. (And there is only one bed, no matter how many children.) Hovel’s where coal is brought in by the bushel, and husbanded like gold. Shacks where the water is hauled in by the bucketful, and heated only for cooking. (“Even if they are poor,” I hear myself saying, “They needn’t be so dirty.”) Main-thoroughfare property is too expensive for tenements and hovels and shacks, so we don’t see them. And if we see them, they aren’t real to us. No one we know lives there.
It’s surprising, too, how few of us have ever fed a poor man - or woman - with our own hands. I don’t mean that we have a passport to Heaven by the mere fact of seating a beggar at our table, or lugging a basket of groceries to that shiftless Jones family. I only mean that Christ - and His Bride, the Church - would tower so visibly over our city streets, if I could but stop feeling complacent.
If only I could stop thinking that Christ came upon earth precisely so that I and my loved ones might relax in the odor of incense and guttering wax, and be clean and secure and sheltered. If only I could remember that no artist has ever dared paint a picture of “The Comfortable Christ.”
The fact is that too many Catholics - good Catholics, pious Catholics - live a one-sided life. Spiritually one-sided, that is. They are meticulous in avoiding sin, conscientious in prayer, and frequently at Holy Communion. They are engrossed in nurturing a beautiful soul for themselves, but unhappily missing the full implication of the Gospel. They have absorbed well the lesson of the Beatitudes, but they have not balanced that lesson against the Works of Mercy.
The Master was well aware of our human nature’s tendency to selfishness, even in matters of the soul. That is why He hammered away so often at the idea that our attitude toward our neighbor is the true test of our inner health. I am sure that if I had been asked to guess, in advance, how Christ would describe the Last Judgment, I’d have flunked the test completely.
“Come, ye blessed of my Father,” He says, “possess you the kingdom prepared for you.” That much would be easy to guess. It’s on the “becauses” that I’d have tripped up. “Because you were prayerful, and truthful, and chaste; devout, honest and sober.” Something like those would have been my choices. So it is a bit of a shock to listen to Christ’s actual words, especially as they begin to sink in.
“Because I was hungry and you gave Me to eat; I was thirsty and you gave Me to drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; naked and you clothed Me… as long as you did it to one of these My least brethren, you did it to Me!”
So maybe there would be sense, after all, in our confessor’s question: “Who lives next door to you?” And who lives in the house beyond, and in the house across the street? It would be no escape for us to answer that folks next door are hillbillies; that they are fighting with each other half the time and drunk every Saturday night. It would be no defense to say that they belong to some queer sect called the “Church of the undefiled”; that they hate Catholics and that we don’t want anything to do with them. It wouldn’t be our confessor who would answer us. Christ already has done so: “For if you love them that love you, what reward shall you have? Do not even the publicans do this? And if you salute your brethren only, what do you more? Do not even the heathens do this? Be you therefore perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” It is, to say the least, a bit sobering to realize that my spiritual perfection is going to be measured by my attitude toward the man I can’t stand; toward the woman who always gets in my hair; toward the family who has destroyed the peace of the neighborhood.
It is a hard lesson to learn. To realize that the more unlovable my neighbor is the more all out I must go in my efforts to love him. To knock on the back door of “those awful people” and maybe ask to borrow some little thing (since psychologists say the easiest way to make a friend is to ask a favor, rather than to do one). To break down their reserve, and maybe suspicion, with gentle kindness and unobtrusive love. Finding perhaps in the end that the reason they fight and drink is because they are lonesome in a neighborhood where friends are so hard to make.
The reason it is so painful to us is partly because there’s nothing in it for us. There must be nothing in it for us, nothing except the approval of our Master, and that “Kingdom prepared for us,” of which He speaks.
Too often Catholics approach their non-Catholic neighbors with a predatory eye; they wonder how they can be led into the fold; they are disappointed if they balk at coming to the font. But the love of which Christ is speaking must be disinterested enough to transcend even this selfish (if holy) satisfaction. We shall pray for their conversion, certainly; but even more, we must pray for their salvation. The two things are not always coincidental.
I hope that no one will misunderstand me and think that I am belittling personal piety. To praise the rain does not mean that the sun is thereby condemned. The good-works-only type of religion is as bad as the me-and-God-only type.
I am only saying that a man would be an imbecile to spend hours and money in a gymnasium to build up his muscles, then put them to no other use except to flex them before a mirror for his own enjoyment, especially if his neighbor was being crushed to death beneath a heavy weight.
Who lives next door to me? It is Christ!
I once knew a man who did many things which his friends considered foolish. When they would point the finger of criticism at him, he would answer darkly, “I have my reasons.” So if anyone accuses me of harping too much on this theme of fraternal charity, love for my neighbor, I too shall reply, “I have my reasons.”
One of the reasons stems from the sadness I sometimes feel at the thought of how much more powerfully we could be witnesses to Christ, had we but the charity of Christ. We have allowed our non-Catholic brethren to outstrip us in many things that should be characteristic of Christ’s own. The Anglicans have outdone us in their appreciation of, and love for, the liturgy. The Evangelicals have surpassed us in their reverence for, and knowledge of, the Holy Bible. The Witnesses of Jehovah daily us to shame by the fervor of their apostolic, if mistaken, zeal.
And the Quakers, a numerically small and insignificant body, have become synonymous in America with selfless and dedicated devotion to the poor and unfortunate. If our Catholics had the compassion of our outnumbered Quakers, then the modern pagans might exclaim again, as did those of Rome, “See how these Christians love another!” And Christ might reign among us.
The picture, I know, is not all black. We can look around us at the Catholic orphanages and hospitals and homes for the aged, and the steadily increasing amounts given for the home and foreign missions, and for European relief. But we have allowed our charity to become so institutionalized. As though we could answer the question, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” merely by writing a check or dropping a bill in the basket.
A Communist leader once asked the French Dominican, Pere Leow, “Do you mean to tell me that out of all your hearers - who call themselves good Catholics and never dream of missing Mass on Sundays - there would be a single one who would be willing to share his home, if a worker and his family were wandering around this town this very night, without means or shelter?”
That’s almost hitting us below the belt, isn’t it? What would I answer, I wonder, if a man rang my doorbell today, with a wife and a couple of kids by his side? If he said, “Mister, we’ve been evicted and we have no place to go; could you put us up for a couple of days?” Would I answer, “Sure, I’ll sleep on the sofa and you can have my room!” Or would I run to the phone and call the County Welfare to ask what agency I should send them to? Being big-hearted enough, of course, to provide them with carfare to get them to a caseworker’s desk.
Actually, of course, it won’t happen to me. The day has not yet come when a poor man can say with confidence, “I’m sure of getting help here; this is a Catholic family.”
It’s amazing how few of us have ever seen poverty in the raw. Tenements where the rats run across the children’s bed at night. (And there is only one bed, no matter how many children.) Hovel’s where coal is brought in by the bushel, and husbanded like gold. Shacks where the water is hauled in by the bucketful, and heated only for cooking. (“Even if they are poor,” I hear myself saying, “They needn’t be so dirty.”) Main-thoroughfare property is too expensive for tenements and hovels and shacks, so we don’t see them. And if we see them, they aren’t real to us. No one we know lives there.
It’s surprising, too, how few of us have ever fed a poor man - or woman - with our own hands. I don’t mean that we have a passport to Heaven by the mere fact of seating a beggar at our table, or lugging a basket of groceries to that shiftless Jones family. I only mean that Christ - and His Bride, the Church - would tower so visibly over our city streets, if I could but stop feeling complacent.
If only I could stop thinking that Christ came upon earth precisely so that I and my loved ones might relax in the odor of incense and guttering wax, and be clean and secure and sheltered. If only I could remember that no artist has ever dared paint a picture of “The Comfortable Christ.”
—————————————
Oh my Lady, help us to spread thy most holy Name worthily and frequently! Amen
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Foolish Heart (August 20, 2009, Thursday)
Romantic love is the most common favorite topic of the youth these days and to my total amazement, I found out that it’s common as well among fellow traditionalists. I find it so base to talk about because it is most of the time filled with intolerable heartache if not indecency. It’s not that I don’t find any interest on that. After all, I have had a lot of experience on that.
Recently, I learned of a fellow traditionalist’s story of romantic love. He was heartbroken and couldn’t move on. He even shared a “9 Painful Things” which goes on to be (for him) truly painful. I don’t know but it sucks. It sounded equally foolish as well.
Can anyone be as so significant that it can’t be seen on others? Or is it just the emotion that’s dragging oneself beneath the past? Sure, there’s a time for getting over but many years is already sufficient. Dreaming must give way to reality and one must move ahead.
Immaturity is the only thing that keeps the heart enclosed still on that former love. For it cannot be fidelity to the love that’s not already valid. Yes, to continue loving someone who stops loving you is just like chasing the wind when you perfectly know you can’t truly beat it.
It’s not that I don’t sympathize. As a matter of fact, I’ve been through that. But just like in everything, there are stages. And so must be on this game of love.
Romantic love should be rational. There must be commitment but it ceases as well the moment the other one chose to end it. It’s not for us to force someone to love us after all. Otherwise, it isn’t love but selfishness. It must be understood that most of the time, anything that’s not solemnize can never be permanent. The past is there to be a tool for us on the next time around. And risking to love once more is just another trial for simply getting the best.
One needed not be discouraged if he finds nothing constant. For Our Lord is always rich in mercy and will never tempt us beyond our strength. God’s will is not our ways and we must simply strive to be better - while submitting ourselves wholly to our Creator. As St. Augustine rightly puts it: “Evil exists either so that the sinner may convert or that by it the just may be tried.”
Going back to the “9 Painful Things”, I’ve enumerated mine here which I believe are honestly painful. Read on.
9 Painful Things
9. Time flying fast.
8. Knowing too much.
7. Having complicated life.
6. Standing alone.
5. Experiencing wrong principles as right ones.
4. Forgiving worst injuries done to you.
3. Accepting your weakness.
2. Seeing God too much desecrated. and above all…
1. Offending God who had suffered much for you.
Oh Immaculate Heart of Mary, on this month dedicated to thee, I ask that thou shelter those who’re heartbroken. Give them the necessary grace to struggle for the ultimate good! Amen.
Recently, I learned of a fellow traditionalist’s story of romantic love. He was heartbroken and couldn’t move on. He even shared a “9 Painful Things” which goes on to be (for him) truly painful. I don’t know but it sucks. It sounded equally foolish as well.
Can anyone be as so significant that it can’t be seen on others? Or is it just the emotion that’s dragging oneself beneath the past? Sure, there’s a time for getting over but many years is already sufficient. Dreaming must give way to reality and one must move ahead.
Immaturity is the only thing that keeps the heart enclosed still on that former love. For it cannot be fidelity to the love that’s not already valid. Yes, to continue loving someone who stops loving you is just like chasing the wind when you perfectly know you can’t truly beat it.
It’s not that I don’t sympathize. As a matter of fact, I’ve been through that. But just like in everything, there are stages. And so must be on this game of love.
Romantic love should be rational. There must be commitment but it ceases as well the moment the other one chose to end it. It’s not for us to force someone to love us after all. Otherwise, it isn’t love but selfishness. It must be understood that most of the time, anything that’s not solemnize can never be permanent. The past is there to be a tool for us on the next time around. And risking to love once more is just another trial for simply getting the best.
One needed not be discouraged if he finds nothing constant. For Our Lord is always rich in mercy and will never tempt us beyond our strength. God’s will is not our ways and we must simply strive to be better - while submitting ourselves wholly to our Creator. As St. Augustine rightly puts it: “Evil exists either so that the sinner may convert or that by it the just may be tried.”
Going back to the “9 Painful Things”, I’ve enumerated mine here which I believe are honestly painful. Read on.
9 Painful Things
9. Time flying fast.
8. Knowing too much.
7. Having complicated life.
6. Standing alone.
5. Experiencing wrong principles as right ones.
4. Forgiving worst injuries done to you.
3. Accepting your weakness.
2. Seeing God too much desecrated. and above all…
1. Offending God who had suffered much for you.
Oh Immaculate Heart of Mary, on this month dedicated to thee, I ask that thou shelter those who’re heartbroken. Give them the necessary grace to struggle for the ultimate good! Amen.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Medical Mission 2009 (August 15, 2009, Saturday)
I grew fond of following the news of ACIM-ASIA’s annual medical mission in this Island. They were on their 3rd year actually and still, it surprises me that more and more medical volunteers are coming from outside the nation to lend a helping hand to our many poor Filipinos here and there.
TB on its final stage, brain deformity, glaucoma hitting on its worst, so many diverse diseases and complicated sickness from one patient to the other with only a limited stack of medicines, one couldn’t help feeling dismay and powerless. It seems the end is here for in every patient, there expresses anguish. Yet it is here where one is needed to be strong. The discovering of a new strength must begin there. A strength that far surpasses the human force. A strength founded upon faith. For the more hopeless it seemed to be, the more we should rely on this strength. Rightly then should we exclaim the authentic words of Our Lord that power is made perfect in infirmity.
But there was something that struck me most on this medical mission. The picture that captivated my heart for the first time ever was that of a child lying on his bed with the priest before him praying. The child was comfortably sleeping like the usual thing we see on TVs or photo albums. Or so I thought… But as I read the screen tip afterwards, I was mistaken. The child was on his way to eternity and the priest was there to administer the Last Sacrament and aid the soul departing form the body.
How could such a child of tender age happily accept his unfortunate situation? It seems to me that he didn’t show any discomfort outwardly for even on his last hours, he managed to slightly curl himself sweetly and with one outstretched hand full of loving gesture. Picture’s worth a thousand words and how I wish to imitate this child when my time approaches! I could only thank the there was a priest right away.
Anyways, compassion is always at the heart of this mission. Charity knows no bounds and even if there were lots of misunderstanding among the volunteers themselves, I’m sure they found a way of making truce with one another to keep the mission on-going. The presence of the priests, nuns, and pre-postulants made things run even smoothly for they had provided the spiritual side of life. It is the backbone of the mission wherein one rushes to sustain themselves form exhaustion - doctor or patient alike.
Perhaps this is the main reason why I always felt a great interest ever since this mission was started. Here you see the world unmasked from the false notion that everything is fine. Hunger, ailments, and poverty in the physical and spiritual sense are prevalent. It calls for mercy. And it is an everyday challenge to face the oddest with full of calmness and courageousness. Yes, even the ability to be great yet humble for the meek. Indeed, only the bravest can respond to this plea. And this, I saw on them.
Oh my Lady, on this feast of thine ascending to Heaven, teach us to have a firm conviction of loving God with thee. That in the end, we may be like unto thee who assumed into Heaven spotless and clean! Amen.
TB on its final stage, brain deformity, glaucoma hitting on its worst, so many diverse diseases and complicated sickness from one patient to the other with only a limited stack of medicines, one couldn’t help feeling dismay and powerless. It seems the end is here for in every patient, there expresses anguish. Yet it is here where one is needed to be strong. The discovering of a new strength must begin there. A strength that far surpasses the human force. A strength founded upon faith. For the more hopeless it seemed to be, the more we should rely on this strength. Rightly then should we exclaim the authentic words of Our Lord that power is made perfect in infirmity.
But there was something that struck me most on this medical mission. The picture that captivated my heart for the first time ever was that of a child lying on his bed with the priest before him praying. The child was comfortably sleeping like the usual thing we see on TVs or photo albums. Or so I thought… But as I read the screen tip afterwards, I was mistaken. The child was on his way to eternity and the priest was there to administer the Last Sacrament and aid the soul departing form the body.
How could such a child of tender age happily accept his unfortunate situation? It seems to me that he didn’t show any discomfort outwardly for even on his last hours, he managed to slightly curl himself sweetly and with one outstretched hand full of loving gesture. Picture’s worth a thousand words and how I wish to imitate this child when my time approaches! I could only thank the there was a priest right away.
Anyways, compassion is always at the heart of this mission. Charity knows no bounds and even if there were lots of misunderstanding among the volunteers themselves, I’m sure they found a way of making truce with one another to keep the mission on-going. The presence of the priests, nuns, and pre-postulants made things run even smoothly for they had provided the spiritual side of life. It is the backbone of the mission wherein one rushes to sustain themselves form exhaustion - doctor or patient alike.
Perhaps this is the main reason why I always felt a great interest ever since this mission was started. Here you see the world unmasked from the false notion that everything is fine. Hunger, ailments, and poverty in the physical and spiritual sense are prevalent. It calls for mercy. And it is an everyday challenge to face the oddest with full of calmness and courageousness. Yes, even the ability to be great yet humble for the meek. Indeed, only the bravest can respond to this plea. And this, I saw on them.
Oh my Lady, on this feast of thine ascending to Heaven, teach us to have a firm conviction of loving God with thee. That in the end, we may be like unto thee who assumed into Heaven spotless and clean! Amen.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Falling and Rising (July 27, 2009, Monday)
The death of a loved one, getting low grades, or having an accident are all considered a big loss. Well, who wouldn’t?
It is something that cannot be naively forgotten. The word disgrace may be the right term and for most people, it cannot be remedied already. It is there like a wound that can’t be healed. Thus, some sink into desperation, others couldn’t recover, and worst of all, some commit suicide to end the misery that the human body is experiencing.
Our human intellect is mostly governed by the mere senses we easily grasp. And sometimes, it is unfortunately hampered to ponder over and deeper the meaning of life. Nowadays, people are beset on mulling less of what truly matters most and more of what the flagrant passion desires. Human weakness and native blindness is sadly and closely suffocating the people all around.
Indeed, I may be one of them. Finding myself stumbling from the same awkward situation, I thought of simply forgetting all good habits I’ve developed. It’s useless since I couldn’t sustain it. After all, it’s a lot easier to remain falling rather than rising up again for it requires a greater effort more than one had maintained.
Time and time again, conscience - or more explicitly - the soul is telling us to be better. That if we can’t run, then perhaps we can walk. And if we can’t walk, perhaps we should crawl. Getting back to stage 1 like a baby who’s learning to stand by himself may be an irony for those who’ve reached incredible heights on achieving things. But it is there where one can find out how to proceed on acquiring better virtues.
The nerve to move ahead despite difficulties should remind us of Our Lord’s passion. For just as He continued His way to Calvary, so should we tread this painful world. Sinless that He is, He chose to suffer for mankind. How much more of us who are immense sinners?
Losing a battle should be a lesson to be taken seriously. Success can never be without failure. For when one constantly wins, the tendency to stop from attaining worthier merits is likely to occur. A scar may remain in each plummet but it doesn’t really matter if one thinks that it’s there as a memento to avoid such fateful mishap.
Like a pencil that needs to be sharpened when it’s already worn out, so should be that person tumbling from a momentous climb. There should the person begin to write in a new page with vivacity and brighter strokes. Contemplating always in mind Our Lord and the Blessed Virgin would make it even brilliant for They had already set an example. As a matter of fact, it is only up to us to follow with all humility and perfect submission.
Oh Blessed Virgin, do thou always assist me. Grant that on my every fall, I may rise one step closer to thee and God! Amen.
It is something that cannot be naively forgotten. The word disgrace may be the right term and for most people, it cannot be remedied already. It is there like a wound that can’t be healed. Thus, some sink into desperation, others couldn’t recover, and worst of all, some commit suicide to end the misery that the human body is experiencing.
Our human intellect is mostly governed by the mere senses we easily grasp. And sometimes, it is unfortunately hampered to ponder over and deeper the meaning of life. Nowadays, people are beset on mulling less of what truly matters most and more of what the flagrant passion desires. Human weakness and native blindness is sadly and closely suffocating the people all around.
Indeed, I may be one of them. Finding myself stumbling from the same awkward situation, I thought of simply forgetting all good habits I’ve developed. It’s useless since I couldn’t sustain it. After all, it’s a lot easier to remain falling rather than rising up again for it requires a greater effort more than one had maintained.
Time and time again, conscience - or more explicitly - the soul is telling us to be better. That if we can’t run, then perhaps we can walk. And if we can’t walk, perhaps we should crawl. Getting back to stage 1 like a baby who’s learning to stand by himself may be an irony for those who’ve reached incredible heights on achieving things. But it is there where one can find out how to proceed on acquiring better virtues.
The nerve to move ahead despite difficulties should remind us of Our Lord’s passion. For just as He continued His way to Calvary, so should we tread this painful world. Sinless that He is, He chose to suffer for mankind. How much more of us who are immense sinners?
Losing a battle should be a lesson to be taken seriously. Success can never be without failure. For when one constantly wins, the tendency to stop from attaining worthier merits is likely to occur. A scar may remain in each plummet but it doesn’t really matter if one thinks that it’s there as a memento to avoid such fateful mishap.
Like a pencil that needs to be sharpened when it’s already worn out, so should be that person tumbling from a momentous climb. There should the person begin to write in a new page with vivacity and brighter strokes. Contemplating always in mind Our Lord and the Blessed Virgin would make it even brilliant for They had already set an example. As a matter of fact, it is only up to us to follow with all humility and perfect submission.
Oh Blessed Virgin, do thou always assist me. Grant that on my every fall, I may rise one step closer to thee and God! Amen.
MJ and My Sister (July 13, 2009, Monday)
Just a few days from now, my sister would be celebrating her birthday. Ironically, it is the day that the annual local festivity here would end - and I believe - with such a wild activity. I guess the only consolation from that are the awesome fireworks to be held at night as a farewell ceremony.
Michael Jackson had been my sister’s inspiration for quite a long time now. Most of the time I see her buried with her MJ projects - from website to essay. I kept wondering what will happen to her if suddenly Michael would be gone away. And unexpectedly, it came very soon.
When the news reached my sister of his sudden death, I couldn’t believe her actions. The moment after was like a nightmare. She was crying and almost panting, she said she believed it to be true. At first, I was skeptical and it was the following Wednesday that I was convinced when I glanced from the local newspaper stating that he passed away.
Dreadfully, I felt like my sister’s world was shattered. And no matter how much I express my sympathy, she was still lacking vigor from time to time. As she asked for my prayers for the repose of his soul, I was rather bent on praying for her than him.
I don’t know why my sister ever liked MJ. He was weird and his style was exotic. His life was wrapped up with full of curiosity and mystery that one can naturally consider him dangerous. He even got albums entitled Bad and Dangerous and such were enough reasons to deem him a bad influence for souls. I tried my best to dissuade her from admiring him but she’s unmovable.
As a person who always thinks positive, I sometimes asked her to tell more about MJ. You bet, she was never out of words for him and even to the point that I had to cut off our conversation due to day’s work or night’s bedtime. From there, I learned of his charitable works for the maimed and abandoned and of how he made orphaned children happy by his mere jovial presence.
Indeed, he may be a good guy. Perhaps my sister was right that somewhere beneath, Michael had a good heart that is quite unnoticeable by the average person. He wished evil to no one yet many people loved to pin him down. He was rather a person whose character cannot be easily judged for even though he got an out of this world get up, he managed to care for his children and be a good father still. Thereupon, Our Lord’s words rang on my mind that “Judge not, that you may not be judged” and that “the publicans and the harlots shall go into the kingdom of God before you.”
It sucks to know that my sister would be celebrating her natal day with MJ on the grave. He was her greatest inspiration but she’s all alone now. I just hope she’d get over with it. Prayers work and I’ll never cease believing for brighter days.
I can never be an MJ fan for I’ve long abandoned admiring celebrities. I’ve decided it’s best to look up instead on saints and the Blessed Virgin as role models. But as for Michael, he had influenced my sister to have a meaning in her life and I simply couldn’t be ungrateful for that.
Somebody gave MJ a rose. I may never have a chance to throw flowers on his tomb but offering Masses for his soul is the worthiest of all. And this I will always do in gratitude for the many things he did that had touched my sister - creating in her a better way of life.
Eternal rest grant unto Michael’s soul, oh Lord. And let your perpetual help shine upon him. May he rest in peace. Amen. Oh Blessed Virgin, meet his soul in pity!
Michael Jackson had been my sister’s inspiration for quite a long time now. Most of the time I see her buried with her MJ projects - from website to essay. I kept wondering what will happen to her if suddenly Michael would be gone away. And unexpectedly, it came very soon.
When the news reached my sister of his sudden death, I couldn’t believe her actions. The moment after was like a nightmare. She was crying and almost panting, she said she believed it to be true. At first, I was skeptical and it was the following Wednesday that I was convinced when I glanced from the local newspaper stating that he passed away.
Dreadfully, I felt like my sister’s world was shattered. And no matter how much I express my sympathy, she was still lacking vigor from time to time. As she asked for my prayers for the repose of his soul, I was rather bent on praying for her than him.
I don’t know why my sister ever liked MJ. He was weird and his style was exotic. His life was wrapped up with full of curiosity and mystery that one can naturally consider him dangerous. He even got albums entitled Bad and Dangerous and such were enough reasons to deem him a bad influence for souls. I tried my best to dissuade her from admiring him but she’s unmovable.
As a person who always thinks positive, I sometimes asked her to tell more about MJ. You bet, she was never out of words for him and even to the point that I had to cut off our conversation due to day’s work or night’s bedtime. From there, I learned of his charitable works for the maimed and abandoned and of how he made orphaned children happy by his mere jovial presence.
Indeed, he may be a good guy. Perhaps my sister was right that somewhere beneath, Michael had a good heart that is quite unnoticeable by the average person. He wished evil to no one yet many people loved to pin him down. He was rather a person whose character cannot be easily judged for even though he got an out of this world get up, he managed to care for his children and be a good father still. Thereupon, Our Lord’s words rang on my mind that “Judge not, that you may not be judged” and that “the publicans and the harlots shall go into the kingdom of God before you.”
It sucks to know that my sister would be celebrating her natal day with MJ on the grave. He was her greatest inspiration but she’s all alone now. I just hope she’d get over with it. Prayers work and I’ll never cease believing for brighter days.
I can never be an MJ fan for I’ve long abandoned admiring celebrities. I’ve decided it’s best to look up instead on saints and the Blessed Virgin as role models. But as for Michael, he had influenced my sister to have a meaning in her life and I simply couldn’t be ungrateful for that.
Somebody gave MJ a rose. I may never have a chance to throw flowers on his tomb but offering Masses for his soul is the worthiest of all. And this I will always do in gratitude for the many things he did that had touched my sister - creating in her a better way of life.
Eternal rest grant unto Michael’s soul, oh Lord. And let your perpetual help shine upon him. May he rest in peace. Amen. Oh Blessed Virgin, meet his soul in pity!
A Unique Privilege (July 11, 2009, Saturday)
The first Sunday of July was blessed to have 3 SSPX brothers present in the usual Mass schedule early morning. All of them originated from our lowly chapel and were actually spending their vacations. And upon entering the chapel, to my great astonishment, I found the 4 religious consecrated men - the other one was the visiting priest - singing the Divine Office inside the house which was adjacent to the chapel.
It had reminded me of our initial visit to a traditional Catholic Church. Our Lady of Victories Church was serene, elegant and clean. 3 priests and 2 brothers were praying in the elevated place which was especially built for them in the sanctuary. Then the brother clapped and all arose, made the Sign of the Cross, and started chanting the Divine Office. I was captivated and completely spellbound noticing their exceptional politeness and interior disposition. For the first time ever, I felt like I was in the company of saints uttering praises to the Triune God.
It left me with a desire to observe them even more and admiring their melodious voices, I stopped my prayers and followed them by heart. As days passed by and we heard Mass there on Sundays, I began realizing that there was no rank or superiority when it comes to praying the Office. I remember seeing the district superior and the prior choose the insignificant position never minding the younger priest to take the lead. Humility had been instilled on them and it is true to say that it reveals the sublime character of souls.
Such were the wonderful memories that reveled on my mind as I listen to them repeating exactly those words I heard sang 8 years ago. Their harmonious voices may be faint as the faithful were already reciting the Rosary but I was still glad to experience it once more. It is a rare incident to occur here and those edifying actions were the ones I long missed. I yearned for it to resuscitate me from this sinking world and having the unique privilege to behold it again, I was certain Our Lord is beseeching me to imitate those beautiful virtues and breathe the purer air that enfolds the religious life.
Oh Lord my God, grant me to love Thy ways. Strengthen my resolve not to offend Thee any longer so that Thou wilt always find a dwelling in my heart! Amen.
It had reminded me of our initial visit to a traditional Catholic Church. Our Lady of Victories Church was serene, elegant and clean. 3 priests and 2 brothers were praying in the elevated place which was especially built for them in the sanctuary. Then the brother clapped and all arose, made the Sign of the Cross, and started chanting the Divine Office. I was captivated and completely spellbound noticing their exceptional politeness and interior disposition. For the first time ever, I felt like I was in the company of saints uttering praises to the Triune God.
It left me with a desire to observe them even more and admiring their melodious voices, I stopped my prayers and followed them by heart. As days passed by and we heard Mass there on Sundays, I began realizing that there was no rank or superiority when it comes to praying the Office. I remember seeing the district superior and the prior choose the insignificant position never minding the younger priest to take the lead. Humility had been instilled on them and it is true to say that it reveals the sublime character of souls.
Such were the wonderful memories that reveled on my mind as I listen to them repeating exactly those words I heard sang 8 years ago. Their harmonious voices may be faint as the faithful were already reciting the Rosary but I was still glad to experience it once more. It is a rare incident to occur here and those edifying actions were the ones I long missed. I yearned for it to resuscitate me from this sinking world and having the unique privilege to behold it again, I was certain Our Lord is beseeching me to imitate those beautiful virtues and breathe the purer air that enfolds the religious life.
Oh Lord my God, grant me to love Thy ways. Strengthen my resolve not to offend Thee any longer so that Thou wilt always find a dwelling in my heart! Amen.
Learning a Lesson (July 6, 2009, Monday)
Last week I got a cold and I knew right from the start that God is admonishing me once more to retrace back my life.
That forced me to think twice. For the last time I fell sick, I thought I had made enough resolutions to be better next time. I respected the days and nights as God has designed it to be and quitted my being workaholic. I refrained from beating the time and made it sure that I never skipped lunch anymore. Yet here I am suffering the same illness.
Indeed, it’s not about staying fit. The previous weeks found me engaging on much idle talk that I recognized something’s wrong going on. It was full of nonsense, really, but I cared less and tried to ignore my senses. Simply put, I’m beginning to become worldlier that somehow Our Lord was pleased to strike me with a congested running nose combined with a slight headache and irritable throat.
But that doesn’t mean I was totally forgetting God. For even when I’m having ailment, I must admit I was successful in finishing my daily prayers albeit imperfectly. Rather, it’s more of neglecting to observe silence as much as possible so as to make space for mental prayer in order for my soul to be further sanctified. I was too much drawn already by petty conversations that aren’t even worth talking about disregarding at the same time His majestic presence that was supposed to be with me all around.
It was dreadful for me to comprehend that I had become lax with my religious endeavors. That despite my conscience warning me, I remained deaf all those times. I thought killing one’s conscience is something I couldn’t possibly do. And I never knew how a lot of people bear doing it till I found myself exactly on that same plane. I felt embarrassed. Does this the legacy I truly want the world to see in me?
Sadly, I learned it the hard way. Yet I won’t stop from there. It’s the art of learning continuously for His glory and our benefit. Now that I’m recuperating, I better get a balanced outlook. I must learn to avoid such trifling activities and be a wholesome person still - ever recalling to mind to be as religious as I can.
Oh Immaculate Mother of God, teach me thy prudence. Grant me a profound understanding of God’s will - thus making me closer to thee and my Redeemer! Amen.
That forced me to think twice. For the last time I fell sick, I thought I had made enough resolutions to be better next time. I respected the days and nights as God has designed it to be and quitted my being workaholic. I refrained from beating the time and made it sure that I never skipped lunch anymore. Yet here I am suffering the same illness.
Indeed, it’s not about staying fit. The previous weeks found me engaging on much idle talk that I recognized something’s wrong going on. It was full of nonsense, really, but I cared less and tried to ignore my senses. Simply put, I’m beginning to become worldlier that somehow Our Lord was pleased to strike me with a congested running nose combined with a slight headache and irritable throat.
But that doesn’t mean I was totally forgetting God. For even when I’m having ailment, I must admit I was successful in finishing my daily prayers albeit imperfectly. Rather, it’s more of neglecting to observe silence as much as possible so as to make space for mental prayer in order for my soul to be further sanctified. I was too much drawn already by petty conversations that aren’t even worth talking about disregarding at the same time His majestic presence that was supposed to be with me all around.
It was dreadful for me to comprehend that I had become lax with my religious endeavors. That despite my conscience warning me, I remained deaf all those times. I thought killing one’s conscience is something I couldn’t possibly do. And I never knew how a lot of people bear doing it till I found myself exactly on that same plane. I felt embarrassed. Does this the legacy I truly want the world to see in me?
Sadly, I learned it the hard way. Yet I won’t stop from there. It’s the art of learning continuously for His glory and our benefit. Now that I’m recuperating, I better get a balanced outlook. I must learn to avoid such trifling activities and be a wholesome person still - ever recalling to mind to be as religious as I can.
Oh Immaculate Mother of God, teach me thy prudence. Grant me a profound understanding of God’s will - thus making me closer to thee and my Redeemer! Amen.
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