Monday, November 19, 2007

In My Life

The days and hours seem to be running. I just can’t believe it’s been 18 days since my last blog here. Time flies so fast for me that I could barely beat it. Sigh.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t misused or misspent my time. Time is valuable and I’m not crazy to abuse it. It’s just that I need to be unselfish. And when writing here, it demands more ample time. Yes, that is exactly the kind of time I’ve been missing frequently.

Anyway, let me start this. Just recently, I noticed some flakes on my hair when combing after bathing. I realized it’s dry scalp and although it’s not itchy, I find it alarming already. And so I decided using my sister’s shampoo. I was somewhat boycotting it before for I don’t really like its smell. It looks like a medicine to me for its components are sort of that. It was actually my sister who suggested I use it but she also advised that I must have a regular diet. Meaning, I must try eating during lunchtime. Well, that seems pretty easy to anyone but not for me! I’m still squeezing lunch in my day. Thanks to my sister’s shampoo anyway. I’m relived and it’s very effective. It lessened gradually within 3 days, I guess. But still, I opt using it regularly. I’ve also become accustomed to its fragrance as well. I mean who knows? It might eventually stop without totally readjusting my schedule!

These days, our neighborhood is on again with loud speakers of music. It’s becoming their usual already and those songs they’re playing are just yelling nonsense. I just can’t comprehend what so good about it. They seem to be deaf already on how to recognize a good song from a bad one. Well, my mother is getting agitated about it and it really saddens me. She doesn’t seem to get used to them. Maybe because it was she who came here. Nobody forced her. But then, this is only my assumption. As for me, I was able to adapt. Thanks be to God and the Blessed Virgin, I can normally sleep without much hardships at night. But what makes me sad though, is that due to it, many bad consequences arise. And even her frail health is unfortunately increasing. I’ve learned that next month they’d have a fiesta of the subdivision. Oh gee, that sounds bad and I’d be putting pillows on my ears so as to get sleep if ever. Because this disco is a lot more louder, continues up till midnight, and it really disturbs the ear you really can’t fall asleep unless you drink sleeping pills. Though last year wasn’t that bad and I could only hope it’d still remain that way. My, these people have a different culture. A pagan one, should I say. For in Luzon, people aren’t like these. Why? Probably it is because of the Catholic Church here. The Catholics are not morally religious. Catholic faith is so loose in Mindanao. It is all because of false ecumenism wherein priests don’t teach the flock and don’t mind them mingling with other religion - Protestants and Muslims alike. Sure there’s nothing bad talking to them but what these faithful don’t know their faith is indirectly being pushed back. I’ve found out too, that Protestants are big here. Only few are Catholics and are, unfortunately, spiritually blind.

About myself, I’m doing fine though not satisfied. Every now and then, I feel something is lacking on me. My nearness to God. Actually, I don’t even know on to what amount of degree I must be near to Him. All I honestly want is to love Him wholeheartedly and if possible to be a nun. I’m not so sure about it but one priest recently advised me to entrust myself to our Blessed Lady. And that is exactly what I’ve been doing for almost a year now after reading the True Devotion to Our Lady by St. Louis de Montfort.

Oh Mother of Divine Providence, help me to understand what God really wants from me. Enlighten those priests whom I have chosen to confide my life. As they are nearest to God on earth, I ask that thou grant them wisdom to discern what is truly God’s will for me. And most especially, sanctify them that they may have the strength and courage to battle whatever evil beset them. Amen.

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