It may be late for yuletide caroling but yesterday night, the Apostles of Mary (a traditionalist Catholic youth group founded by the SSPX exclusively for the youths in the Philippines) came to do carols. The intention was to raise funds for their coming formation sessions next year in Bohol. I personally dislike that kind of activity. I’d rather attend many Ignatian retreats and get a lot of inspirations and strong spirituality formation there than spend it on those formation sessions. But then, people’s metabolism is not always the same. Some would be inspired through constant activities while some are inspired through meditations and sermons. That’s me on the latter while I guess the majority of people falls on the first definition. And perhaps, that’s what the Apostles are catering.
Anyways, when they arrived, I found out they’re still numbering in 8. Yup, this isn’t their first time but their 2nd already. Most of them aren’t from the group but they decided to come along to help cheering the voices up. 6 were young men including the Captain of the Koronodal’s San Miguel Clan while 3 were girls who’re still aspirants for the group, I guess.
I truly appreciate their voices. It was melodious and all together coordinated. It’s as if they did a lot of rehearsing which climaxed in our home. I love most especially when they sang Latin ones but most especially the Ave Maria. Oh my, my heart was leaping for joy as I was hearing that. I couldn’t imagine that they (who’re simple and plain) can, by now, compete with those in the orchestra. The girls weren’t reading anything but they confidently know what they’re voices would be singing when the men sang other parts of the Ave. Simply put, I was thoroughly amazed for the new outlook of the Apostles. They are much more pious. I think credits must go partly to their new chaplain, Fr. Dolotina (himself a former Apostles and now enjoying his 2nd year in the priesthood).
After the singing, they took some photos with their gifts (Mom gave them some snacks). I could see that they’re feeling happy (with their smiling faces) but they just couldn’t express it on words perhaps because of the conflict recently or shyness too. Then Mom gave the money.
But then again, I hear my siblings blaming me (directly or indirectly) for the added expenses. It’s so painful but I learned to accept it with a glad heart already. I denied my emotions and acted as if every insult is passing from one ear to the other.
Now that this is the last day of the year, I wish everyone a meaningful New Year most especially my Dad. I love you, Dad, and wherever you are, may you find God in your heart and peace and happiness still.
As 2008 enters, I’d be more loyal to my New Year’s Resolution and continue hoping that God and the Blessed Virgin would guide my whole life.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Friday, December 28, 2007
Struggling Into Pieces
Today’s the 4th day of Christmas. Finally, I was able to make it here after more than a month long absence. I honestly love to write here many things about my life but my duties and prayers are always taking most of my time. Add here the season of Christmas - this truly makes a busier and frenzied day for my family.
Holidays are joyful. Yes, that’s the famous saying of Christmas. This Christmas, I’d say things went well. For the first time ever, the weather was sweet (that is, cold) here in Mindanao. It was that weather I’ve been longing for as I was accustomed from my beloved Luzon. We went to the Novus Ordo Cathedral to pay a visit then when evening came, we went to the governor’s office and strolled to see the grandest lights beautifully arrayed there. Aside from our home, it was so magnificent and comparable to Manila based wonder lights there. I could really feel the spirit of Christmas. Indeed, I never had that radiant Christmas experience for quite a long time now.
But things aren’t always merry. Dad isn’t home and my family got mad to me 4 days before Christmas. It was because I decided to receive the Sacraments without their knowing about it. I intentionally did it for I perfectly know they would forbid me. Well, the result was a bit intriguing. The visiting priest corrected me and that I should apologize to Mom. I did on that very night but I guess it’s not enough so I decided to give her a letter this day. I don’t know what she’d feel about it but I’m hoping that she’ll understand. In that letter, I tried explaining in a humblest way my desires and shortcomings too. I told her how much she means to me and I ended in: I love you, Mom, and will forever be! By the way, Mom is in Davao right now doing her medical check up routine.
I’m very much glad that I was able to receive our Lord this month. I’m happier than ever and much apt in suffering gladly. The pains and insults are nothing when I know God is abiding in me. That’s enough to comfort me even if there’s no one in my family who shares the same belief.
Also, I’m thankful that everything went well this Christmas despite the chaos. I’ve been pleading in tears to God that it wouldn’t be spoiled and He granted it. But deep inside, I’m still getting hurt day after day. I couldn’t perfectly understand why God wants me to suffer these awful consequences. I feel like being thrown in the dirt whenever I hear false accusations against me that I sometimes burst into tears in prayer. Still, I’m holding on. I try giving my best in my work no matter how drained I feel due to emotions. I know I’m not mocked much more than my crucified Savior. Perhaps, I just deserve this kind of life. I’m not going to be bitter about it but rather be positive and accepting it gladly and patiently.
It was all by Divine Providence that I was able to make it for He knows I truly do not want to pass this year without receiving Him. I was trembling for I didn’t know if I’d make it after all my 2 sisters saw me. But God willed that they didn’t seem to be bothered about my departure. Despite all odds from my family - my eldest sister shouting at me on the phone; my eldest brother insisting that I immediately return home; and worst, my mother calling me names - I managed to remain firm in my decision. I told them politely that I’m not coming home without receiving the Sacraments which the priest gave me his full consent.
So now, I’ll try to be as close to God as possible. Now that I have him, I’ll try not to lose Him by any mortal/venial sins. I’ll make it sure to be more aware of displeasing Him. I’ll try not to deprive Him of love. In praying and constant meditation, I guess I shall be successful on my goal.
Oh Lord my God, keep me always near Thy Heart. Never permit me to be far away again! Oh my Blessed Mother, thou who never left me even to my darkest moments, help me to fulfill this even more perfectly this time around! Amen.
Holidays are joyful. Yes, that’s the famous saying of Christmas. This Christmas, I’d say things went well. For the first time ever, the weather was sweet (that is, cold) here in Mindanao. It was that weather I’ve been longing for as I was accustomed from my beloved Luzon. We went to the Novus Ordo Cathedral to pay a visit then when evening came, we went to the governor’s office and strolled to see the grandest lights beautifully arrayed there. Aside from our home, it was so magnificent and comparable to Manila based wonder lights there. I could really feel the spirit of Christmas. Indeed, I never had that radiant Christmas experience for quite a long time now.
But things aren’t always merry. Dad isn’t home and my family got mad to me 4 days before Christmas. It was because I decided to receive the Sacraments without their knowing about it. I intentionally did it for I perfectly know they would forbid me. Well, the result was a bit intriguing. The visiting priest corrected me and that I should apologize to Mom. I did on that very night but I guess it’s not enough so I decided to give her a letter this day. I don’t know what she’d feel about it but I’m hoping that she’ll understand. In that letter, I tried explaining in a humblest way my desires and shortcomings too. I told her how much she means to me and I ended in: I love you, Mom, and will forever be! By the way, Mom is in Davao right now doing her medical check up routine.
I’m very much glad that I was able to receive our Lord this month. I’m happier than ever and much apt in suffering gladly. The pains and insults are nothing when I know God is abiding in me. That’s enough to comfort me even if there’s no one in my family who shares the same belief.
Also, I’m thankful that everything went well this Christmas despite the chaos. I’ve been pleading in tears to God that it wouldn’t be spoiled and He granted it. But deep inside, I’m still getting hurt day after day. I couldn’t perfectly understand why God wants me to suffer these awful consequences. I feel like being thrown in the dirt whenever I hear false accusations against me that I sometimes burst into tears in prayer. Still, I’m holding on. I try giving my best in my work no matter how drained I feel due to emotions. I know I’m not mocked much more than my crucified Savior. Perhaps, I just deserve this kind of life. I’m not going to be bitter about it but rather be positive and accepting it gladly and patiently.
It was all by Divine Providence that I was able to make it for He knows I truly do not want to pass this year without receiving Him. I was trembling for I didn’t know if I’d make it after all my 2 sisters saw me. But God willed that they didn’t seem to be bothered about my departure. Despite all odds from my family - my eldest sister shouting at me on the phone; my eldest brother insisting that I immediately return home; and worst, my mother calling me names - I managed to remain firm in my decision. I told them politely that I’m not coming home without receiving the Sacraments which the priest gave me his full consent.
So now, I’ll try to be as close to God as possible. Now that I have him, I’ll try not to lose Him by any mortal/venial sins. I’ll make it sure to be more aware of displeasing Him. I’ll try not to deprive Him of love. In praying and constant meditation, I guess I shall be successful on my goal.
Oh Lord my God, keep me always near Thy Heart. Never permit me to be far away again! Oh my Blessed Mother, thou who never left me even to my darkest moments, help me to fulfill this even more perfectly this time around! Amen.
Monday, November 19, 2007
In My Life
The days and hours seem to be running. I just can’t believe it’s been 18 days since my last blog here. Time flies so fast for me that I could barely beat it. Sigh.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t misused or misspent my time. Time is valuable and I’m not crazy to abuse it. It’s just that I need to be unselfish. And when writing here, it demands more ample time. Yes, that is exactly the kind of time I’ve been missing frequently.
Anyway, let me start this. Just recently, I noticed some flakes on my hair when combing after bathing. I realized it’s dry scalp and although it’s not itchy, I find it alarming already. And so I decided using my sister’s shampoo. I was somewhat boycotting it before for I don’t really like its smell. It looks like a medicine to me for its components are sort of that. It was actually my sister who suggested I use it but she also advised that I must have a regular diet. Meaning, I must try eating during lunchtime. Well, that seems pretty easy to anyone but not for me! I’m still squeezing lunch in my day. Thanks to my sister’s shampoo anyway. I’m relived and it’s very effective. It lessened gradually within 3 days, I guess. But still, I opt using it regularly. I’ve also become accustomed to its fragrance as well. I mean who knows? It might eventually stop without totally readjusting my schedule!
These days, our neighborhood is on again with loud speakers of music. It’s becoming their usual already and those songs they’re playing are just yelling nonsense. I just can’t comprehend what so good about it. They seem to be deaf already on how to recognize a good song from a bad one. Well, my mother is getting agitated about it and it really saddens me. She doesn’t seem to get used to them. Maybe because it was she who came here. Nobody forced her. But then, this is only my assumption. As for me, I was able to adapt. Thanks be to God and the Blessed Virgin, I can normally sleep without much hardships at night. But what makes me sad though, is that due to it, many bad consequences arise. And even her frail health is unfortunately increasing. I’ve learned that next month they’d have a fiesta of the subdivision. Oh gee, that sounds bad and I’d be putting pillows on my ears so as to get sleep if ever. Because this disco is a lot more louder, continues up till midnight, and it really disturbs the ear you really can’t fall asleep unless you drink sleeping pills. Though last year wasn’t that bad and I could only hope it’d still remain that way. My, these people have a different culture. A pagan one, should I say. For in Luzon, people aren’t like these. Why? Probably it is because of the Catholic Church here. The Catholics are not morally religious. Catholic faith is so loose in Mindanao. It is all because of false ecumenism wherein priests don’t teach the flock and don’t mind them mingling with other religion - Protestants and Muslims alike. Sure there’s nothing bad talking to them but what these faithful don’t know their faith is indirectly being pushed back. I’ve found out too, that Protestants are big here. Only few are Catholics and are, unfortunately, spiritually blind.
About myself, I’m doing fine though not satisfied. Every now and then, I feel something is lacking on me. My nearness to God. Actually, I don’t even know on to what amount of degree I must be near to Him. All I honestly want is to love Him wholeheartedly and if possible to be a nun. I’m not so sure about it but one priest recently advised me to entrust myself to our Blessed Lady. And that is exactly what I’ve been doing for almost a year now after reading the True Devotion to Our Lady by St. Louis de Montfort.
Oh Mother of Divine Providence, help me to understand what God really wants from me. Enlighten those priests whom I have chosen to confide my life. As they are nearest to God on earth, I ask that thou grant them wisdom to discern what is truly God’s will for me. And most especially, sanctify them that they may have the strength and courage to battle whatever evil beset them. Amen.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t misused or misspent my time. Time is valuable and I’m not crazy to abuse it. It’s just that I need to be unselfish. And when writing here, it demands more ample time. Yes, that is exactly the kind of time I’ve been missing frequently.
Anyway, let me start this. Just recently, I noticed some flakes on my hair when combing after bathing. I realized it’s dry scalp and although it’s not itchy, I find it alarming already. And so I decided using my sister’s shampoo. I was somewhat boycotting it before for I don’t really like its smell. It looks like a medicine to me for its components are sort of that. It was actually my sister who suggested I use it but she also advised that I must have a regular diet. Meaning, I must try eating during lunchtime. Well, that seems pretty easy to anyone but not for me! I’m still squeezing lunch in my day. Thanks to my sister’s shampoo anyway. I’m relived and it’s very effective. It lessened gradually within 3 days, I guess. But still, I opt using it regularly. I’ve also become accustomed to its fragrance as well. I mean who knows? It might eventually stop without totally readjusting my schedule!
These days, our neighborhood is on again with loud speakers of music. It’s becoming their usual already and those songs they’re playing are just yelling nonsense. I just can’t comprehend what so good about it. They seem to be deaf already on how to recognize a good song from a bad one. Well, my mother is getting agitated about it and it really saddens me. She doesn’t seem to get used to them. Maybe because it was she who came here. Nobody forced her. But then, this is only my assumption. As for me, I was able to adapt. Thanks be to God and the Blessed Virgin, I can normally sleep without much hardships at night. But what makes me sad though, is that due to it, many bad consequences arise. And even her frail health is unfortunately increasing. I’ve learned that next month they’d have a fiesta of the subdivision. Oh gee, that sounds bad and I’d be putting pillows on my ears so as to get sleep if ever. Because this disco is a lot more louder, continues up till midnight, and it really disturbs the ear you really can’t fall asleep unless you drink sleeping pills. Though last year wasn’t that bad and I could only hope it’d still remain that way. My, these people have a different culture. A pagan one, should I say. For in Luzon, people aren’t like these. Why? Probably it is because of the Catholic Church here. The Catholics are not morally religious. Catholic faith is so loose in Mindanao. It is all because of false ecumenism wherein priests don’t teach the flock and don’t mind them mingling with other religion - Protestants and Muslims alike. Sure there’s nothing bad talking to them but what these faithful don’t know their faith is indirectly being pushed back. I’ve found out too, that Protestants are big here. Only few are Catholics and are, unfortunately, spiritually blind.
About myself, I’m doing fine though not satisfied. Every now and then, I feel something is lacking on me. My nearness to God. Actually, I don’t even know on to what amount of degree I must be near to Him. All I honestly want is to love Him wholeheartedly and if possible to be a nun. I’m not so sure about it but one priest recently advised me to entrust myself to our Blessed Lady. And that is exactly what I’ve been doing for almost a year now after reading the True Devotion to Our Lady by St. Louis de Montfort.
Oh Mother of Divine Providence, help me to understand what God really wants from me. Enlighten those priests whom I have chosen to confide my life. As they are nearest to God on earth, I ask that thou grant them wisdom to discern what is truly God’s will for me. And most especially, sanctify them that they may have the strength and courage to battle whatever evil beset them. Amen.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
All Saints’ Day
Lately, I’ve been linking this particular day to the SSPX. True enough, as it was the solemn day that Archbishop Lefebvre founded the SSPX 37 years ago. I was wondering why the Archbishop chose this particular date. Now, I realized it was perhaps because His Excellency wanted to show to each and everyone, most especially to his own priests, that all of us must become Saints. Striving to become saints is our duty and rather the only duty we have here on earth. I understood that it is what the Archbishop wanted to imply to all.
I’m grateful to him and for what he had done. He was fighting and yet he was loving as well. He mandated to his priests the vital importance of the Sacrifice of the Mass and the other 6 Sacraments which our Lord instituted. We cannot live without God. Charity and sufferings are nothing if we do not have grace of God abiding in us. And how do we get that grace? Through the Holy Sacrifice of Mass and Sacrament of Penance. Yes, His Excellency stated it plain and simple yet the sophisticated world could not comprehend it. In his own little way, Archbishop Lefebvre scattered this beautiful message. He stood amidst shaking tribulations and formed his priests. Providentially, it grew and still expanding.
Through his priests, he continued Jesus Commandments. He did not let the Gospel wither away. And now almost world widely known, his Society is still the bridge for both the worldly and holy alike. It reconciles the sinner while the pious assists him. From pagans to orphanage, from hostels to schools, and from bewildered couple (or family) to a confused individual, the SSPX were here or there to bring back the light and to show the road to sanctity.
Oh, praise be to the Most Holy Triune God for using Archbishop Lefebvre as an instrument! His Excellency must have a lot of graces on him. Yes, God lives on him that’s why he persevered. Only time will tell if the Society he founded would waver and fall. But may God forbid! May it be safeguarded by numerous saints and most especially by the Blessed Virgin, most pure and most strong. May it continue to defend Holy Mother Church from heresy, novelty, and schism!
By the way, I just learned yesterday that Miss Swarna Vongala had already taken the habit. I’m very much delighted to hear that long awaited Asian news! Oh, would that I be one soon! I long to be with my God and forever serve Him unselfishly!
Since today’s the feast of all the Saints, I shall greet here my patron saints. Happy happy feast day to thee, St. Gregory Nazianzen, St. Basil the Great, St. Joan of Arc, St. Scholastica, St. Christina, and St. Januarius. Oh my dear patron saints, do not leave me here! Be my constant intercessors to our Lord! Help me most especially to attain Heaven!
Also, I would like to post here that tomorrow is the day dedicated for the Holy Souls in Purgatory. Let’s pray for all those who are still detained there. It is very painful staying there! They definitely need the Holy Sacrifice of Mass and our own prayers. Let me end here with a prayer that will freed 1000 souls each time this is prayed.
Eternal Father, I offer Thee the most precious Blood of Thy Divine Son Jesus in union with all the Masses said throughout the world today, for all the Holy Souls in Purgatory, for sinners everywhere, for sinners in the Universal Church, those in my own home and within my family. Amen.
I’m grateful to him and for what he had done. He was fighting and yet he was loving as well. He mandated to his priests the vital importance of the Sacrifice of the Mass and the other 6 Sacraments which our Lord instituted. We cannot live without God. Charity and sufferings are nothing if we do not have grace of God abiding in us. And how do we get that grace? Through the Holy Sacrifice of Mass and Sacrament of Penance. Yes, His Excellency stated it plain and simple yet the sophisticated world could not comprehend it. In his own little way, Archbishop Lefebvre scattered this beautiful message. He stood amidst shaking tribulations and formed his priests. Providentially, it grew and still expanding.
Through his priests, he continued Jesus Commandments. He did not let the Gospel wither away. And now almost world widely known, his Society is still the bridge for both the worldly and holy alike. It reconciles the sinner while the pious assists him. From pagans to orphanage, from hostels to schools, and from bewildered couple (or family) to a confused individual, the SSPX were here or there to bring back the light and to show the road to sanctity.
Oh, praise be to the Most Holy Triune God for using Archbishop Lefebvre as an instrument! His Excellency must have a lot of graces on him. Yes, God lives on him that’s why he persevered. Only time will tell if the Society he founded would waver and fall. But may God forbid! May it be safeguarded by numerous saints and most especially by the Blessed Virgin, most pure and most strong. May it continue to defend Holy Mother Church from heresy, novelty, and schism!
By the way, I just learned yesterday that Miss Swarna Vongala had already taken the habit. I’m very much delighted to hear that long awaited Asian news! Oh, would that I be one soon! I long to be with my God and forever serve Him unselfishly!
Since today’s the feast of all the Saints, I shall greet here my patron saints. Happy happy feast day to thee, St. Gregory Nazianzen, St. Basil the Great, St. Joan of Arc, St. Scholastica, St. Christina, and St. Januarius. Oh my dear patron saints, do not leave me here! Be my constant intercessors to our Lord! Help me most especially to attain Heaven!
Also, I would like to post here that tomorrow is the day dedicated for the Holy Souls in Purgatory. Let’s pray for all those who are still detained there. It is very painful staying there! They definitely need the Holy Sacrifice of Mass and our own prayers. Let me end here with a prayer that will freed 1000 souls each time this is prayed.
Eternal Father, I offer Thee the most precious Blood of Thy Divine Son Jesus in union with all the Masses said throughout the world today, for all the Holy Souls in Purgatory, for sinners everywhere, for sinners in the Universal Church, those in my own home and within my family. Amen.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Crux Sacra Sit Mihi Lux, Non Draco Sit Mihi Dux
Let the Sacred Cross be my Light, let not the devil be my guide. Someone recently gave it to me. It was sort of a short prayer for encouragement. And ever since yesterday, I started praying it. I’d always be grateful to that person who revived my intrepidness. I was on the brink of misery, but Our Lady is so wonderful for holding me back and gave me hope through this person.
I admit there were times I succumbed. Lack of prayer and watchfulness were the main causes, I guess. My past mistakes make me tremble in fear to stand in the presence of the Innocent Lamb. Had I not have the Blessed Virgin Mary, I’d certainly be unheard by the Just Judge. He Who demands goodness on every single thing I do; I am but worthy to deserve shame and dust.
Sometime the devil wants me to think that I’m too guilty even to ask for the Virgin’s intercession. But faith enlightens me that the Blessed Lady never turns away one of her children. No matter how heinous - provided one is sincere in repenting. Indeed, that was the pact she sealed when her crucified Son was uttering to her on the Cross.
I realize God wants me with my weakness. But I also understand God wants me to be perfect just as He is. I must never take it for granted. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve fallen. But what matters most is that I’m willing to rise and reconstruct my life once more. Yes, my human nature is weak but Jesus Himself overcame it through many sufferings and finally by dying in the Cross.
I know I’m no perfect person, but I must comprehend God destined it so I can best appreciate His bountiful mercies. And how powerful the Blessed Virgin Mary is who so much loves us and wants to save us — for that is the price of her Beloved Son’s death.
Oh Immaculate Virgin, would that every sinner come to thine recourse and hell would be already empty! Be always near to me as I traverse this dangerous road. And most especially help me to love God more strongly yet tenderly as well! Amen.
I admit there were times I succumbed. Lack of prayer and watchfulness were the main causes, I guess. My past mistakes make me tremble in fear to stand in the presence of the Innocent Lamb. Had I not have the Blessed Virgin Mary, I’d certainly be unheard by the Just Judge. He Who demands goodness on every single thing I do; I am but worthy to deserve shame and dust.
Sometime the devil wants me to think that I’m too guilty even to ask for the Virgin’s intercession. But faith enlightens me that the Blessed Lady never turns away one of her children. No matter how heinous - provided one is sincere in repenting. Indeed, that was the pact she sealed when her crucified Son was uttering to her on the Cross.
I realize God wants me with my weakness. But I also understand God wants me to be perfect just as He is. I must never take it for granted. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve fallen. But what matters most is that I’m willing to rise and reconstruct my life once more. Yes, my human nature is weak but Jesus Himself overcame it through many sufferings and finally by dying in the Cross.
I know I’m no perfect person, but I must comprehend God destined it so I can best appreciate His bountiful mercies. And how powerful the Blessed Virgin Mary is who so much loves us and wants to save us — for that is the price of her Beloved Son’s death.
Oh Immaculate Virgin, would that every sinner come to thine recourse and hell would be already empty! Be always near to me as I traverse this dangerous road. And most especially help me to love God more strongly yet tenderly as well! Amen.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Significant Sayings (Part 4)
You don’t need such a good memory if you always speak the truth.
Truth is not always popular, but it is always right.
Some people fall for everything and stand for nothing.
Other people see your deeds. God sees your motives.
A promise made is a debt unpaid.
Fools think they need no advice, but the wise listen to others.
My riches consist not in the extent of my possessions but in the fewness of my wants.
Little is much when God is in it.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
Curious people ask questions; determined people find answers.
In judging others, it’s always wise to see with the heart as well as with the eyes.
He who is slow in promising is always the faithful in performing.
Some men succeed because they are destined to, but most men because they are determined to.
Tell the truth ─ falsehoods are hard to remember.
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on.
Guidance means that I can count on God; commitment means that God can count on me.
Character does not reach its best until it is controlled, harnessed, and disciplined.
If you can’t be grateful for what you receive, be grateful for what you escape.
Will is a word of beauty.
Success is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.
To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible.
He gives twice who gives promptly.
The hardest thing about facts is facing them.
Don’t say, “I will get even for this wrong.” Wait for the Lord to handle the matter.
Choose a good reputation over great riches, for being held in high esteem is better than having gold.
The man who has not learned to say no will be a weak man as long as he lives.
Fear the Lord and serve Him in sincerity and truth.
Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it’s cowardice.
Life is so constructed, that the event does not, cannot, will not, match the expectation.
Prayer doesn’t get man’s will done in heaven; it gets God’s will done on earth.
Don’t let your pride become inflated ─ you may have to swallow it someday.
Ideals may be beyond our reach but never beyond our fondest hopes.
We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.
Stand on your own two feet and you will grow in stature.
Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful.
Opportunity knocks, but it has never been known to turn the knob and walk in.
The Lord demands fairness in every business deal; He sets the standard.
A wise person is hungry for truth, while the fool feeds on trash.
Loyalty is rare. It can only be proven under test.
Listen to the voice of experience, but also make use of your brain.
In the end, people appreciate frankness more than flattery.
Digging for facts is better mental exercise than jumping into conclusions.
Conscience is the only mirror that doesn’t flatter.
Life without hope is a life without meaning.
Lose if you must, but don’t lose the lesson.
Excellence resides in quality not in quantity. The best is always few and rare, much lowers value.
Excellence is not a matter of chance, it’s a matter of choice.
No person has ever been honored for what he has received; always for what he has given.
Happiness is the inner joy that can be sought, but never taught or bought.
The essence of generosity is self-sacrifice.
Happiness is the delicate balance of what one is and what one has.
Great wealth and contentment seldom live together.
People with good sense restrain anger; they earn esteem by overlooking wrongs.
We can make our plans but the Lord determines our steps.
Making decisions is simple: get the facts; seek God’s guidance; form a judgment; act on it.
An unusual amount of common sense is something called wisdom.
The line is often too busy when the conscience wishes to speak.
Conscience is God’s presence in man.
Conscience is that inner voice that warns us someone is watching.
There is no longer better tranquilizer than a clear conscience.
Seek His will in all you do, and He will lead your paths.
You’ll never make your dream come true by oversleeping.
The poorest of all men is not the man without a cent but the man without a dream.
It isn’t enough to make sure you’re on the right track; you also make sure you’re going in the right direction.
The man who loses his conscience has nothing left that is worth keeping.
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.
The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts it.
A pint of example is worth a gallon of advice.
I affirm life; I challenge problems; I accept responsibility; I believe in God; I live today.
He has the right to criticize who has the heart to help.
Pride goes before destruction and haughtiness before a fall.
We make a living by what we get ─ a life by what we give.
If you’re not big enough to stand for criticism, you’re too small to be praised.
Life is fragile; handle with prayer.
Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.
There is no excellence uncoupled with difficulties.
Excellence in any art of profession is attained only by hard and persistent work.
Appreciation is thanking, recognition is seeing, and encouragement is bringing hope for the future.
Some men dream of worthy accomplishments, while others stay awake and do them.
We create our future by what we dream today.
Discipline is the refining fire by which talent becomes ability.
If you don’t see it with your eyes, don’t invent it with your mouth.
As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the person.
One of the rarest things that man ever does is to do the best he can.
In character, in manner, in style, in all things, the supreme excellence is simplicity.
When you break your word, you break something that cannot be mended.
Success is sweet, but its secret is sweat.
Promises are like money ─ easier made than kept.
Hard workers have plenty of food; playing around brings poverty.
Gossip is what some invent and others enlarge.
To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.
The difference between failure and success is doing a thing nearly right and doing a thing exactly right.
There is no hell like a bad conscience.
He who thinks twice before saying nothing is wise.
Truth is not always popular, but it is always right.
Some people fall for everything and stand for nothing.
Other people see your deeds. God sees your motives.
A promise made is a debt unpaid.
Fools think they need no advice, but the wise listen to others.
My riches consist not in the extent of my possessions but in the fewness of my wants.
Little is much when God is in it.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
Curious people ask questions; determined people find answers.
In judging others, it’s always wise to see with the heart as well as with the eyes.
He who is slow in promising is always the faithful in performing.
Some men succeed because they are destined to, but most men because they are determined to.
Tell the truth ─ falsehoods are hard to remember.
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on.
Guidance means that I can count on God; commitment means that God can count on me.
Character does not reach its best until it is controlled, harnessed, and disciplined.
If you can’t be grateful for what you receive, be grateful for what you escape.
Will is a word of beauty.
Success is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.
To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible.
He gives twice who gives promptly.
The hardest thing about facts is facing them.
Don’t say, “I will get even for this wrong.” Wait for the Lord to handle the matter.
Choose a good reputation over great riches, for being held in high esteem is better than having gold.
The man who has not learned to say no will be a weak man as long as he lives.
Fear the Lord and serve Him in sincerity and truth.
Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it’s cowardice.
Life is so constructed, that the event does not, cannot, will not, match the expectation.
Prayer doesn’t get man’s will done in heaven; it gets God’s will done on earth.
Don’t let your pride become inflated ─ you may have to swallow it someday.
Ideals may be beyond our reach but never beyond our fondest hopes.
We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.
Stand on your own two feet and you will grow in stature.
Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful.
Opportunity knocks, but it has never been known to turn the knob and walk in.
The Lord demands fairness in every business deal; He sets the standard.
A wise person is hungry for truth, while the fool feeds on trash.
Loyalty is rare. It can only be proven under test.
Listen to the voice of experience, but also make use of your brain.
In the end, people appreciate frankness more than flattery.
Digging for facts is better mental exercise than jumping into conclusions.
Conscience is the only mirror that doesn’t flatter.
Life without hope is a life without meaning.
Lose if you must, but don’t lose the lesson.
Excellence resides in quality not in quantity. The best is always few and rare, much lowers value.
Excellence is not a matter of chance, it’s a matter of choice.
No person has ever been honored for what he has received; always for what he has given.
Happiness is the inner joy that can be sought, but never taught or bought.
The essence of generosity is self-sacrifice.
Happiness is the delicate balance of what one is and what one has.
Great wealth and contentment seldom live together.
People with good sense restrain anger; they earn esteem by overlooking wrongs.
We can make our plans but the Lord determines our steps.
Making decisions is simple: get the facts; seek God’s guidance; form a judgment; act on it.
An unusual amount of common sense is something called wisdom.
The line is often too busy when the conscience wishes to speak.
Conscience is God’s presence in man.
Conscience is that inner voice that warns us someone is watching.
There is no longer better tranquilizer than a clear conscience.
Seek His will in all you do, and He will lead your paths.
You’ll never make your dream come true by oversleeping.
The poorest of all men is not the man without a cent but the man without a dream.
It isn’t enough to make sure you’re on the right track; you also make sure you’re going in the right direction.
The man who loses his conscience has nothing left that is worth keeping.
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.
The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts it.
A pint of example is worth a gallon of advice.
I affirm life; I challenge problems; I accept responsibility; I believe in God; I live today.
He has the right to criticize who has the heart to help.
Pride goes before destruction and haughtiness before a fall.
We make a living by what we get ─ a life by what we give.
If you’re not big enough to stand for criticism, you’re too small to be praised.
Life is fragile; handle with prayer.
Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.
There is no excellence uncoupled with difficulties.
Excellence in any art of profession is attained only by hard and persistent work.
Appreciation is thanking, recognition is seeing, and encouragement is bringing hope for the future.
Some men dream of worthy accomplishments, while others stay awake and do them.
We create our future by what we dream today.
Discipline is the refining fire by which talent becomes ability.
If you don’t see it with your eyes, don’t invent it with your mouth.
As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the person.
One of the rarest things that man ever does is to do the best he can.
In character, in manner, in style, in all things, the supreme excellence is simplicity.
When you break your word, you break something that cannot be mended.
Success is sweet, but its secret is sweat.
Promises are like money ─ easier made than kept.
Hard workers have plenty of food; playing around brings poverty.
Gossip is what some invent and others enlarge.
To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.
The difference between failure and success is doing a thing nearly right and doing a thing exactly right.
There is no hell like a bad conscience.
He who thinks twice before saying nothing is wise.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Significant Sayings (Part 3)
Fortune does not change men; it unmasks them.
The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked leads them astray.
He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak.
Fear of the Lord teaches a person to be wise; humility precedes honor.
From our ancestors come our names; from our virtues, our honors.
It is human to stand with the crowd; it is divine to stand alone.
Between tomorrow’s dream and yesterday’s regret is today’s opportunity.
No dream comes true until you wake up and go to work.
Doubt grows with knowledge.
Sometimes the best way to convince someone he is wrong is to let him have his way.
He that falls by himself never cries.
What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens.
The wise man questions himself, the fool others.
The time is always right to do what is right.
It is an easy matter for a stingy to get rich ─ but what’s the use?
Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought.
Ought is a word of duty.
Won’t is a word of retreat.
It is always the secure who are humble.
No man is rich enough to buy back his past.
The mind’s direction is more important than its progress.
Knowledge can be communicated but not wisdom.
The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked leads them astray.
He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak.
Fear of the Lord teaches a person to be wise; humility precedes honor.
From our ancestors come our names; from our virtues, our honors.
It is human to stand with the crowd; it is divine to stand alone.
Between tomorrow’s dream and yesterday’s regret is today’s opportunity.
No dream comes true until you wake up and go to work.
Doubt grows with knowledge.
Sometimes the best way to convince someone he is wrong is to let him have his way.
He that falls by himself never cries.
What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens.
The wise man questions himself, the fool others.
The time is always right to do what is right.
It is an easy matter for a stingy to get rich ─ but what’s the use?
Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought.
Ought is a word of duty.
Won’t is a word of retreat.
It is always the secure who are humble.
No man is rich enough to buy back his past.
The mind’s direction is more important than its progress.
Knowledge can be communicated but not wisdom.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Significant Sayings (Part 2)
As long as you live, keep learning how to live.
Live today and every day like a man of honor.
Sincere humility attracts. Lack of humility subtracts. Artificial humility detracts.
Honor lives in honest toil.
Humility is remaining teachable.
A small gift is better than a great promise.
The wise man does not lay up treasures. The more he gives, the more he has.
A total commitment is paramount to reaching the ultimate in performance.
Don’t be discouraged; it may be the last key in the bunch that opens the door.
Excellence is to do a common thing in an uncommon way.
Opportunity is hard to recognize if you’re looking for a lucky break.
You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.
There is a great difference between still believing something and believing it again.
Clear your mind of can’t.
Try is a word each hour.
What was hard to endure was sweet to recall.
Self-respect is the root of discipline. The sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.
All glory comes from daring to begin.
Always continue to fear the Lord. For surely you have a future ahead of you; your hope will not be disappointed.
Know what you’re doing. Love what you’re doing. And believe in what you’re doing.
It is easier to acquire good reputation than to lose a bad one.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Fr. Purdy's Letter
[Fr. Purdy sent me this. I hope you’d be able to help them one way or the other. Thank you and may God reward your genrosity!- Editor's Note]
St. Bernard Novitiate
Barangay Daga
Santa Barbara, Iloilo
Philippines
Tel: 63 33 523 5058 / Fax: 63 33 523 5059
7th October 2007
Feast of the Holy Rosary
Dear Friends,
A novitiate is the house of formation for religious. It is a house in which a young man or woman learns the religious life; where they learn to live the Evangelical councils and where the first promises of those vows are made.
Archbishop Lefebvre writes in the Rules for Brothers: “the brothers, consecrating themselves to God in the religious life, have as their primary goal and purpose the glory of God, their own sanctification, and the salvation of souls”. The novitiate is necessary for religious, it is where this sublime calling is discerned, where is fostered, and where it comes to fruit.
St. Bernard Novitiate is the SSPX’s only house of religious formation in all of Asia. There are currently four priests, seven brothers, four pre-postulants, two pre-seminarians, and four live-in student/helpers residing at St. Bernard Novitiate.
Unfortunately, this apostolate in the Philippines is not so well known. In recent years, priests assigned to the Novitiate have made fund raising trips in America and Canada, and many have responded generously. However, these trips are few and far in between. There is a great necessity for the Novitiate to have a stable income. Just as any home needs a stable income to survive, so our home also.
The intended plan is to seek faithful benefactors who can contribute monthly for our support. I am looking for benefactors who can contribute $20 a month for the period of one year. The pledge could be renewed or dropped at the end of the year. That is five dollars a week. If there could be 100 people who can respond to this request, then our monthly expenses will be covered. When the math is done, that is $2000 a month from 100 people. Imagine that amount to feed over 20 people in the house, to pay the electric bill, the phone bill, the fuel bill for our vehicles, etc!
It is well known that religious houses are the prayer machines of the Church. Such great benefits come to the Church and its members through the prayers of consecrated religious souls. Find it in your great love for the Church to help support us.
In return for your generosity, and for those who respond to this request, you will be named the Friends of St. Bernard Novitiate. One mass a month will be offered for your intentions and The Friends of St. Bernard Novitiate will be a perpetual intention in the rosaries of the brothers. Remember! The brothers say 15 decades daily!
In the Hearts of Jesus and Mary,
Fr. Adam Purdy
Any donations can be sent to: Mrs. Marie Purdy, SSPX Asia – 83 North Rd, Fort Ann, NY 12827
Checks can be made to SSPX and memo Friends of St. Bernard Novitiate
Contact Marie Purdy at – mpurdy@myexcel.com ; Contact Fr. Purdy at – stbernard@sspx.net
Please respond via email (if possible) in order to make a contacts list and send a short monthly letter.
St. Bernard Novitiate
Barangay Daga
Santa Barbara, Iloilo
Philippines
Tel: 63 33 523 5058 / Fax: 63 33 523 5059
7th October 2007
Feast of the Holy Rosary
Dear Friends,
A novitiate is the house of formation for religious. It is a house in which a young man or woman learns the religious life; where they learn to live the Evangelical councils and where the first promises of those vows are made.
Archbishop Lefebvre writes in the Rules for Brothers: “the brothers, consecrating themselves to God in the religious life, have as their primary goal and purpose the glory of God, their own sanctification, and the salvation of souls”. The novitiate is necessary for religious, it is where this sublime calling is discerned, where is fostered, and where it comes to fruit.
St. Bernard Novitiate is the SSPX’s only house of religious formation in all of Asia. There are currently four priests, seven brothers, four pre-postulants, two pre-seminarians, and four live-in student/helpers residing at St. Bernard Novitiate.
Unfortunately, this apostolate in the Philippines is not so well known. In recent years, priests assigned to the Novitiate have made fund raising trips in America and Canada, and many have responded generously. However, these trips are few and far in between. There is a great necessity for the Novitiate to have a stable income. Just as any home needs a stable income to survive, so our home also.
The intended plan is to seek faithful benefactors who can contribute monthly for our support. I am looking for benefactors who can contribute $20 a month for the period of one year. The pledge could be renewed or dropped at the end of the year. That is five dollars a week. If there could be 100 people who can respond to this request, then our monthly expenses will be covered. When the math is done, that is $2000 a month from 100 people. Imagine that amount to feed over 20 people in the house, to pay the electric bill, the phone bill, the fuel bill for our vehicles, etc!
It is well known that religious houses are the prayer machines of the Church. Such great benefits come to the Church and its members through the prayers of consecrated religious souls. Find it in your great love for the Church to help support us.
In return for your generosity, and for those who respond to this request, you will be named the Friends of St. Bernard Novitiate. One mass a month will be offered for your intentions and The Friends of St. Bernard Novitiate will be a perpetual intention in the rosaries of the brothers. Remember! The brothers say 15 decades daily!
In the Hearts of Jesus and Mary,
Fr. Adam Purdy
Any donations can be sent to: Mrs. Marie Purdy, SSPX Asia – 83 North Rd, Fort Ann, NY 12827
Checks can be made to SSPX and memo Friends of St. Bernard Novitiate
Contact Marie Purdy at – mpurdy@myexcel.com ; Contact Fr. Purdy at – stbernard@sspx.net
Please respond via email (if possible) in order to make a contacts list and send a short monthly letter.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Significant Sayings (Part 1)
Here are some wonderful sayings. I shall post them all soon.
The distance doesn’t matter; it is only the first step that is difficult.
A show of envy is an insult to oneself.
Loyalty in little thing is a great thing.
A life of ease is a difficult pursuit.
The thing to try when all else fails is again.
Laws too gentle, seldom obeyed; too severe, seldom executed.
To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others.
The distance doesn’t matter; it is only the first step that is difficult.
A show of envy is an insult to oneself.
Loyalty in little thing is a great thing.
A life of ease is a difficult pursuit.
The thing to try when all else fails is again.
Laws too gentle, seldom obeyed; too severe, seldom executed.
To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others.
Saving The Environment
[This one is supposed to be on September 29, 2007, Saturday. However, I ran out of internet time. - Editor's Note]
Today’s the feast of St. Michael and I wonder if there’s a Mass here as it’s the chapel’s patron saint. Oh, I miss going to Church and receiving God so much.
My sister and I were talking about a shrub around our area yesterday. It was getting tall and it’s already beside our fence’s backyard. I explained that the neighbor should already trim it down but she was against it. She even went to say that she would love to see it grow taller so as to avoid global warming and stuffs.
I have no problem with green plants around and about and I am all for planting more and more trees. Gardens are indeed beautiful and I don’t mind tending them to make it as attractive as it can be. But I believe it should be trimmed down time after time. And in our case, our back is already a wild forest. Tall and shrubby grass and many other creeping insects are housing there. The place is not maintained and the neighbors sometimes abuse it.
Anyways, yesterday too, I was shocked to hear Mom asked me: don’t you get bored? I didn’t know how to or rather I fight boredom. And so, I just nodded no. I was hoping to say more than “no” but then I just remained silent. I was indeed dumbfounded how my Mom would ask me such a question. Still, all I want to say is: no, but I wish to hear Mass soon. Why can’t I just say this? Oh my, I long to be with God in everything I do.
My life is still fumbling out and I just don’t know why God wants it that way. I still believe this is His will and that I must never lose hope. I must persevere and hold on.
The past few days, almost all the religious things I’ve read reminded me that faith without works is dead. That those who call themselves Christians but do not do Christ’s commandments e.g. frequenting the Sacraments He instituted, is like a dead branch in a tree. Indeed, I find myself exactly in that situation.
I do not want to think of it but then I know I’d be lying to myself. Facing my reality is hard to accept and sometimes I do not know how I will ever survive. Pray and pray even harder. I also need to seek guidance from priests and I hope I could contact them soon. At the moment, I’m stuck. Stuck in the mad that every time I try to lift off, it’s still there. I don’t know how long will this feeling end. It’s crazy to know but I won’t go insane. My refuge is the Blessed Virgin Mary who’d always assist me as long as I’m obedient to her.
Today’s the feast of St. Michael and I wonder if there’s a Mass here as it’s the chapel’s patron saint. Oh, I miss going to Church and receiving God so much.
My sister and I were talking about a shrub around our area yesterday. It was getting tall and it’s already beside our fence’s backyard. I explained that the neighbor should already trim it down but she was against it. She even went to say that she would love to see it grow taller so as to avoid global warming and stuffs.
I have no problem with green plants around and about and I am all for planting more and more trees. Gardens are indeed beautiful and I don’t mind tending them to make it as attractive as it can be. But I believe it should be trimmed down time after time. And in our case, our back is already a wild forest. Tall and shrubby grass and many other creeping insects are housing there. The place is not maintained and the neighbors sometimes abuse it.
Anyways, yesterday too, I was shocked to hear Mom asked me: don’t you get bored? I didn’t know how to or rather I fight boredom. And so, I just nodded no. I was hoping to say more than “no” but then I just remained silent. I was indeed dumbfounded how my Mom would ask me such a question. Still, all I want to say is: no, but I wish to hear Mass soon. Why can’t I just say this? Oh my, I long to be with God in everything I do.
My life is still fumbling out and I just don’t know why God wants it that way. I still believe this is His will and that I must never lose hope. I must persevere and hold on.
The past few days, almost all the religious things I’ve read reminded me that faith without works is dead. That those who call themselves Christians but do not do Christ’s commandments e.g. frequenting the Sacraments He instituted, is like a dead branch in a tree. Indeed, I find myself exactly in that situation.
I do not want to think of it but then I know I’d be lying to myself. Facing my reality is hard to accept and sometimes I do not know how I will ever survive. Pray and pray even harder. I also need to seek guidance from priests and I hope I could contact them soon. At the moment, I’m stuck. Stuck in the mad that every time I try to lift off, it’s still there. I don’t know how long will this feeling end. It’s crazy to know but I won’t go insane. My refuge is the Blessed Virgin Mary who’d always assist me as long as I’m obedient to her.
Blood Diamond
[This one is supposed to be on September 27, 2007, Wednesday. However, I ran out of internet time. - Editor's Note]
I never thought I’m going to watch it but then I realized it concerns many souls and so I watched.
Yes, Mom bought that VCD and we all have to watch it. All I can say it was action packed and the hidden beauty of Sierra Leone amidst its civil war on 1999.
But what caught my attention most was the vibrant ex-soldier turned syndicate Danny Aocho. From the moment he entered the picture, my heart followed his whereabouts on that movie. At first, I thought he was simply a bad guy who wants money with diamonds. But delving deeper and as the film continues its story, Danny related his life. He was an orphan and at the age of 9 his mother died. I presume he enlisted in the Army because he has no family to turn to already. From there, he got all the military tactics and mustered it all his life. The Colonel who trained him admitted Danny is better than him. So you can just imagine Danny’s character. He is strong and can fight alone. He would push on anything as long as it meant money matters. In short, he is the type of guy who fears nothing — cost what it may.
Anyway, back to Danny’s life, when he was serving in the military, he thought they were fighting against terrorists. But it was just a front ─ the real thing is the diamonds. Danny was so intrigued that he said something like this “Why not dig my own diamonds?” And so, his life of syndicating began.
Then things went complicated when the fisherman and the photographer entered his life. I would say his life changed and he became a better person. The fisherman disturbed his syndicating life while the photographer allowed him to pour the real Danny inside. He admitted he is not a good guy and is not content on his life. Indeed, there’s lacking on him and it’s God. I pitied him and if I have to judge if his soul should be dammed or not, I think it would be saved.
Throughout the film, Danny helped the fisherman find his lost family and his son who was illegally conscripted by the rebels. Although there was always a vested interest, Danny was able to make the family complete once more and risked his life just to make it sure the fisherman and his son are safe.
He was indeed a soldier who’d protect the civilians and yet his heart is torn between greed and fairness. Danny was desperately trying to find the meaning of his life and he only got it shortly before he died. I don’t know why it was hidden from him but maybe because God willed it that way.
This story is only fictional but one could really relate itself. There are many people out there who didn’t know their lives’ meaning until the end. Some are lucky enough to have the grace to remain good but most choose to be bad. It is because they never knew the Holy Sacrifice of Mass and the Sacraments. These days, the true meaning of life is already lost if not forgotten. It pains me to know about Danny’s life but then I believe he was lucky enough to find his real life. He was lost but I guess God was merciful and just and held him back. He may have to suffer for a while but rest assured — he’s saved.
Thus, the need to pray. For all those who have no meaning in their lives and for all those who are persevering. For the latter to remain steadfast and for the other one for the grace of conversion.
O Blessed Virgin Mary, teach them to love God’s ways. Many souls are lost because of sin. But have mercy on them. O Blessed Lady, keep them and grant them the grace of final perseverance or complete conversion. O Queen of heaven and earth, to thee do I entrust souls who are desperately in need of thy light.
O merciful Heart of Jesus, have pity on the souls Whom Thou hast redeemed by shedding Thy blood and dying on the Cross! Amen.
I never thought I’m going to watch it but then I realized it concerns many souls and so I watched.
Yes, Mom bought that VCD and we all have to watch it. All I can say it was action packed and the hidden beauty of Sierra Leone amidst its civil war on 1999.
But what caught my attention most was the vibrant ex-soldier turned syndicate Danny Aocho. From the moment he entered the picture, my heart followed his whereabouts on that movie. At first, I thought he was simply a bad guy who wants money with diamonds. But delving deeper and as the film continues its story, Danny related his life. He was an orphan and at the age of 9 his mother died. I presume he enlisted in the Army because he has no family to turn to already. From there, he got all the military tactics and mustered it all his life. The Colonel who trained him admitted Danny is better than him. So you can just imagine Danny’s character. He is strong and can fight alone. He would push on anything as long as it meant money matters. In short, he is the type of guy who fears nothing — cost what it may.
Anyway, back to Danny’s life, when he was serving in the military, he thought they were fighting against terrorists. But it was just a front ─ the real thing is the diamonds. Danny was so intrigued that he said something like this “Why not dig my own diamonds?” And so, his life of syndicating began.
Then things went complicated when the fisherman and the photographer entered his life. I would say his life changed and he became a better person. The fisherman disturbed his syndicating life while the photographer allowed him to pour the real Danny inside. He admitted he is not a good guy and is not content on his life. Indeed, there’s lacking on him and it’s God. I pitied him and if I have to judge if his soul should be dammed or not, I think it would be saved.
Throughout the film, Danny helped the fisherman find his lost family and his son who was illegally conscripted by the rebels. Although there was always a vested interest, Danny was able to make the family complete once more and risked his life just to make it sure the fisherman and his son are safe.
He was indeed a soldier who’d protect the civilians and yet his heart is torn between greed and fairness. Danny was desperately trying to find the meaning of his life and he only got it shortly before he died. I don’t know why it was hidden from him but maybe because God willed it that way.
This story is only fictional but one could really relate itself. There are many people out there who didn’t know their lives’ meaning until the end. Some are lucky enough to have the grace to remain good but most choose to be bad. It is because they never knew the Holy Sacrifice of Mass and the Sacraments. These days, the true meaning of life is already lost if not forgotten. It pains me to know about Danny’s life but then I believe he was lucky enough to find his real life. He was lost but I guess God was merciful and just and held him back. He may have to suffer for a while but rest assured — he’s saved.
Thus, the need to pray. For all those who have no meaning in their lives and for all those who are persevering. For the latter to remain steadfast and for the other one for the grace of conversion.
O Blessed Virgin Mary, teach them to love God’s ways. Many souls are lost because of sin. But have mercy on them. O Blessed Lady, keep them and grant them the grace of final perseverance or complete conversion. O Queen of heaven and earth, to thee do I entrust souls who are desperately in need of thy light.
O merciful Heart of Jesus, have pity on the souls Whom Thou hast redeemed by shedding Thy blood and dying on the Cross! Amen.
Much News
[This one is supposed to be on September 24, 2007, Monday. However, I ran out of internet time. - Editor's Note]
There are so many things that happened in the past weeks but I wasn’t able to get back. As always, my day is very hectic and I barely get the time to update my blog.
Anyhow, let me enumerate them here.
On September 12, Mom went to Davao for her medical check up which was 2 months due already. Great thing though, that her laboratory tests were good. Deo Gratias! Though when I read her results, I found out it’s still not good. Her creatinine is not normal yet and her potassium went up but on the normal range still. Of course, the results give us hope and encouragement and I just simply have to be positive. I was really happy about it that on that day, I prayed another Te Deum upon learning it! The doctor even adjusted her medical check up routine to every space of 3 months so that she could cope up. I just hope Mom would be already normal. But then, it’s up to God once again.
Come September 19, it was supposed to be a great celebration but since it’s Ember I fasted. No, don’t get me wrong, it’s not required. It’s just that I opted sacrificing. I’m not sure if what I did was a sin. And if it was, I have the very reason to be excused coz I didn’t know it at that time (even for now). I’d certainly not do anything that’s sinful to God.
Then on the following night, Mom went to Mrs. Ghela and I learned of how the Motu Proprio is taking effect here in the diocese. It’s a Latin Novus Ordo Mass. Same old thing and it’s crazy. That’s not what His Holiness stated on his Motu Proprio. I just hope the Catholic Bishops here would follow what the Pope really said and not invent things as they wish.
Oh well, that’s how I am at the moment. One more thing, there are frequent power interruptions in our area and it’s agitating. I have to extend and advance things due to this nemesis and the result is always the burnt out me. Miserable that I am, but then I know I must suffer gladly and patiently for God’s sake and to atone for my sins too.
Actually, I have a slight headache once more. I didn’t realize it but just now when I was writing. Still, I want to pour out my day here. That’s why I’m not getting over here. By the way, I skipped lunch once more!
Anyways, Mom went to Davao to mail her letter for her sister Aunt Bett in US. Last call from her informed me that she’s bound home already. So maybe, she’d be home around 7-8 pm.
Oh, yesterday I read “that through many tribulations, one must enter heaven.” Yes, that was the words of St. Paul in Acts. In other words, I must toil hard and fight the good fight.
About myself, I feel so void tonight. Why is it that I find myself lax these days? I’m not sure if I’m quick to anger but it’s like my old habits are coming back. It’s not good and I must change. I better change before it’s too late. I must rewind back my steps and retrace once more Jesus’ path. I must be patient and stop complaining even for a while.
O my God, I’m so sorry for my deeds today. Help me as I look on Jesus’ life once more. Please give me good merits so that I may faithfully serve Thee. Banish from it all that is offensive to Thee and make me well again.
O my Lord Jesus Christ, have pity on me. As I lay down to sleep this night, please refresh my whole self so that tomorrow, I may walk on Thy ways and persevere till the end! Amen.
There are so many things that happened in the past weeks but I wasn’t able to get back. As always, my day is very hectic and I barely get the time to update my blog.
Anyhow, let me enumerate them here.
On September 12, Mom went to Davao for her medical check up which was 2 months due already. Great thing though, that her laboratory tests were good. Deo Gratias! Though when I read her results, I found out it’s still not good. Her creatinine is not normal yet and her potassium went up but on the normal range still. Of course, the results give us hope and encouragement and I just simply have to be positive. I was really happy about it that on that day, I prayed another Te Deum upon learning it! The doctor even adjusted her medical check up routine to every space of 3 months so that she could cope up. I just hope Mom would be already normal. But then, it’s up to God once again.
Come September 19, it was supposed to be a great celebration but since it’s Ember I fasted. No, don’t get me wrong, it’s not required. It’s just that I opted sacrificing. I’m not sure if what I did was a sin. And if it was, I have the very reason to be excused coz I didn’t know it at that time (even for now). I’d certainly not do anything that’s sinful to God.
Then on the following night, Mom went to Mrs. Ghela and I learned of how the Motu Proprio is taking effect here in the diocese. It’s a Latin Novus Ordo Mass. Same old thing and it’s crazy. That’s not what His Holiness stated on his Motu Proprio. I just hope the Catholic Bishops here would follow what the Pope really said and not invent things as they wish.
Oh well, that’s how I am at the moment. One more thing, there are frequent power interruptions in our area and it’s agitating. I have to extend and advance things due to this nemesis and the result is always the burnt out me. Miserable that I am, but then I know I must suffer gladly and patiently for God’s sake and to atone for my sins too.
Actually, I have a slight headache once more. I didn’t realize it but just now when I was writing. Still, I want to pour out my day here. That’s why I’m not getting over here. By the way, I skipped lunch once more!
Anyways, Mom went to Davao to mail her letter for her sister Aunt Bett in US. Last call from her informed me that she’s bound home already. So maybe, she’d be home around 7-8 pm.
Oh, yesterday I read “that through many tribulations, one must enter heaven.” Yes, that was the words of St. Paul in Acts. In other words, I must toil hard and fight the good fight.
About myself, I feel so void tonight. Why is it that I find myself lax these days? I’m not sure if I’m quick to anger but it’s like my old habits are coming back. It’s not good and I must change. I better change before it’s too late. I must rewind back my steps and retrace once more Jesus’ path. I must be patient and stop complaining even for a while.
O my God, I’m so sorry for my deeds today. Help me as I look on Jesus’ life once more. Please give me good merits so that I may faithfully serve Thee. Banish from it all that is offensive to Thee and make me well again.
O my Lord Jesus Christ, have pity on me. As I lay down to sleep this night, please refresh my whole self so that tomorrow, I may walk on Thy ways and persevere till the end! Amen.
Friday, September 07, 2007
Mom and the SSPX
Mom retuned to Manila last Monday to do some family matters. At the airport (though I don’t know if it’s GenSan or Manila), she told us how she met a man with a black soutane. Mom approached him and asked: “Good afternoon, Father, what congregation do you belong?” “SSPX…” came the reply. “Are you traditionalist?” continued Mom who wanted to verify. “Yes, are you?” the man replied once more. “Oh yes,” Mom said smilingly. Then he told Mom that he’s not priest but just a brother, (actually, Mom doesn’t know how an SSPX brother looks like) and informed her too that he’d be going to OLVC.
Well that was an interesting story. Indeed the SSPX are very famous in airports. One way or the other the SSPX meet each other to do Mass apostolate, district meetings/reassignments, and sometimes vacations as well.
Anyways, it was good Mom was able to come back home in Manila. She told us many news but unfortunately she didn’t drop by at OLVC. That’s very disheartening for me.
O Lord, when wilt Thou completely convert Mom to Sacred Catholic Tradition? Nevertheless, I trust in Thee and I’ll never lose hope. If it pleases Thy majesty that this may last longer, so be it, my Lord. Just give me the grace to remain steadfast in Thy will. Amen.
Well that was an interesting story. Indeed the SSPX are very famous in airports. One way or the other the SSPX meet each other to do Mass apostolate, district meetings/reassignments, and sometimes vacations as well.
Anyways, it was good Mom was able to come back home in Manila. She told us many news but unfortunately she didn’t drop by at OLVC. That’s very disheartening for me.
O Lord, when wilt Thou completely convert Mom to Sacred Catholic Tradition? Nevertheless, I trust in Thee and I’ll never lose hope. If it pleases Thy majesty that this may last longer, so be it, my Lord. Just give me the grace to remain steadfast in Thy will. Amen.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Pursuing Away ─ In Pain
September. Tomorrow it will be the feast of St. Pius X. Soon it will be the nativity of our Blessed Virgin Mary, then the feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross, then the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows. The third one I mentioned is quite notable to me (as well as to the SSPX) as the Motu Proprio would take effect on the Novus Ordo Catholic parishes worldwide. I hope it would be the start of rediscovering the Tridentine Latin Mass to most Novus Ordo Catholic priests. This month will also be very significant to me for the first time in my life as on the 19th, marks my very first anniversary of confirmation!
September. Most people say: “Hey it’s ber months once more. Time to anticipate Christmas season!” Well, it’s exhilarating to know that but deep down I began asking myself: Will my Christmas be really merry? Don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about gifts or special foods or trips to here or there. I’m pointing out the spirit of Christmas. About my own spirit of Christmas, should I say. Will it be warm this time? Or would it be dry as usual? With all the spectacular Christmas lights as bright as it can be, with lanterns and a magnificent Christmas tree, outsiders would be really easily fooled that inside this home, people are the happiest of the happiest. Safe to say, though, but that’s not the reality of my heart. One can never be actually glad without God.
September. When was the last time I received my God? Last September. Last what ─ a year??? Is this really true??! Wow. I can’t believe it’s that far already. What did I do on those past 12 months? I prayed, did acts of charity and mortification, studied, but never had the opportunity to be fed by spiritual nourishment. Everything isn’t complete because I haven’t received my God, the Sole Being why I still live. Everyday that passes by was like a feather that was blown and never really landed on a safe ground. It kept treading until it was scattered on the air lost amidst the earth’s sphere. Indeed, I have no weight without God.
I’m doing fine, though not contented. My frenzied life seems to exhaust me too as I always get a slight headache. Not much bothering as I can still move. I know there’s no one to blame but myself since I barely eat at lunchtime. During the day, I got this dilemma that when my eyes begin to close and I start catching to sleep, the moment my head reaches my pillows, the dizziness suddenly get lost. It’s as if my brain wants to be active again! Oh, is that so?! Okay. You have it. Even my brain says it so. I’m very much an active human being. My sleeping time is only throughout the night — and sometimes it’s not even continuous ─ 6 hours the most.
My life can never be truly “regularized” as long as I haven’t received my God. I feel like running away and finding this Road where my heart yearns. But then I know I must wait and persevere at the moment. God works in mysterious ways. I may never completely understand it but I’ll always follow His voice.
O Lord, my God, I’m so lost without Thee! I didn’t realize how painful it is before! Through the intercession of the most Blessed Virgin Mary, I ask that Thou keep me and help me comprehend Thy will. Make me learn from experience that I may readily embrace humiliation with discretion! Amen.
September. Most people say: “Hey it’s ber months once more. Time to anticipate Christmas season!” Well, it’s exhilarating to know that but deep down I began asking myself: Will my Christmas be really merry? Don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about gifts or special foods or trips to here or there. I’m pointing out the spirit of Christmas. About my own spirit of Christmas, should I say. Will it be warm this time? Or would it be dry as usual? With all the spectacular Christmas lights as bright as it can be, with lanterns and a magnificent Christmas tree, outsiders would be really easily fooled that inside this home, people are the happiest of the happiest. Safe to say, though, but that’s not the reality of my heart. One can never be actually glad without God.
September. When was the last time I received my God? Last September. Last what ─ a year??? Is this really true??! Wow. I can’t believe it’s that far already. What did I do on those past 12 months? I prayed, did acts of charity and mortification, studied, but never had the opportunity to be fed by spiritual nourishment. Everything isn’t complete because I haven’t received my God, the Sole Being why I still live. Everyday that passes by was like a feather that was blown and never really landed on a safe ground. It kept treading until it was scattered on the air lost amidst the earth’s sphere. Indeed, I have no weight without God.
I’m doing fine, though not contented. My frenzied life seems to exhaust me too as I always get a slight headache. Not much bothering as I can still move. I know there’s no one to blame but myself since I barely eat at lunchtime. During the day, I got this dilemma that when my eyes begin to close and I start catching to sleep, the moment my head reaches my pillows, the dizziness suddenly get lost. It’s as if my brain wants to be active again! Oh, is that so?! Okay. You have it. Even my brain says it so. I’m very much an active human being. My sleeping time is only throughout the night — and sometimes it’s not even continuous ─ 6 hours the most.
My life can never be truly “regularized” as long as I haven’t received my God. I feel like running away and finding this Road where my heart yearns. But then I know I must wait and persevere at the moment. God works in mysterious ways. I may never completely understand it but I’ll always follow His voice.
O Lord, my God, I’m so lost without Thee! I didn’t realize how painful it is before! Through the intercession of the most Blessed Virgin Mary, I ask that Thou keep me and help me comprehend Thy will. Make me learn from experience that I may readily embrace humiliation with discretion! Amen.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Befallen Heroes
The Basilan War is certainly getting worse. More and more soldiers are dying. It’s appalling and I can very much relate this happening to the Iraq War. It’s always Muslim rebels against Christian government. I could only hope and pray it will end very soon.
I know I may be late already but still, I’d like to dedicate this post to the 14 Marines who died on July 10 and the 27 Marines who died on August 7-9.
Here’s 2nd Lt. Camelon’s words at his friendster blog or so I read at the newspaper. (He was one of the 16 marines who died last August 7)
“I stand a proud guardian of my country and the people. I am awestruck and dumbfounded by the magnanimous duty that the people have bestowed upon me, the duty that binds me to be the protector of the free, the duty that drives me to endure days without food, traverse the inhospitable terrain, through typhoons and searing rays of the sun.
… The duty that dislocates my normal life, separates me from my family, [that makes me] live with humble means and simple ways and be the epitome of the ideals of katapangan, integridad, at katapatan [bravery, integrity, and honesty].”
Well I could only say this: Thanks for lending us your bravery and for giving up your life. You never really left us. Instead you gave us even more. That unwavering determination to fight whenever the duty calls for and this against all odds!
Eternal rest grant unto the Marines’ souls, O Lord. And let Thy perpetual help shine upon them. Amen
And May the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen
I know I may be late already but still, I’d like to dedicate this post to the 14 Marines who died on July 10 and the 27 Marines who died on August 7-9.
Here’s 2nd Lt. Camelon’s words at his friendster blog or so I read at the newspaper. (He was one of the 16 marines who died last August 7)
“I stand a proud guardian of my country and the people. I am awestruck and dumbfounded by the magnanimous duty that the people have bestowed upon me, the duty that binds me to be the protector of the free, the duty that drives me to endure days without food, traverse the inhospitable terrain, through typhoons and searing rays of the sun.
… The duty that dislocates my normal life, separates me from my family, [that makes me] live with humble means and simple ways and be the epitome of the ideals of katapangan, integridad, at katapatan [bravery, integrity, and honesty].”
Well I could only say this: Thanks for lending us your bravery and for giving up your life. You never really left us. Instead you gave us even more. That unwavering determination to fight whenever the duty calls for and this against all odds!
Eternal rest grant unto the Marines’ souls, O Lord. And let Thy perpetual help shine upon them. Amen
And May the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen
With My Blog, Again
It’s been a long time now since I last made a blog. Indeed, I already missed doing this. It was because of my very busy life (even up to now). As a matter of fact, I skipped lunch these days just to make things fitted on my ever hectic schedule. With a moderate amount of work and prayers, I guess I’m constantly busy. My super energetic body says it so and I just hope I won’t collapse at all! Of course, I cannot simply sit around after doing my duties and leave everything to my siblings. Yes, I try helping as much as I can. I must give way to charity first before my own pleasures.
So here I am catching out. Pausing out for a while, writing some lines then go out then write once more till I finish what’s on my mind.
One big event that happened this week was my joining at CathInfo forums. Since then, I was very active asking for such and such questions and sometimes voiced out my opinions too.
Anyways, I’m doing better with my resolutions. The obtuse life I was treading before is certainly leaving me. I’ve changed. Yes, my outlook obviously changed. My family re watched videos but I excused myself (and I’m sometimes successful). My dad brought home an airline’s magazine but I barely read it. I simply glimpsed some things just to know what’s happening around me.
Then when my Mom brought a newspaper, I browsed it and read some things but didn’t take pleasure on it. I wasn’t happy to see that this world is crumbling away and got no place for religious things. Sigh. What’s more disheartening was that the issue exclusively featured writers sharing out their experience about “first times”. My oh my. They even went out doing sinful things just to make up with their assignments. Imagining them is like getting crazy. Learning to dance on hip hop songs, a man wearing a female’s 3 inch high heels, and living alone for a month. Although there were some good writers, I came to realize that this world is really turning to be very ungodly. Fashions, too, are just not decent. I even saw a picture of a model posing with dark clothes in a flickering red background. My gosh, it looks devilish. The peoples’ way of life is unfortunately turning more and more away from God. I’m not happy to know it and I keep on asking: oh my Lord, in these days, when will they ever learn what’s pleasing to Thee? To love Thee, adore Thee, and offer Thee sacrifices?
I thank God and the Blessed Virgin Mary that I was able to open my blinded eyes from worldliness. Yes, I have to admit my attitude was very much “in” to this world. I craved for those things that when I made my resolution, I thought I’m going to be bored and give up sooner or later. But now, it’s only a matter to laugh about. Those things I thought was sweet turned suddenly bitter in my palate. I’m not saying I’m already perfect. No, rather the battle within me still continues. It’s safe to say, though, that the war is already conquered if not won. I know I may still lose my soul to satan if I’m not cautious with my thoughts, words, and deeds.
But definitely, I’m much blessed. I’m now discovering how much one will really take risks just to love the One you perfectly love. The One that really deserves pure love. And He, Who is God, would never really leave you, provided you’re always constant to His commands. Oh! I’m engrossed to know that! And I’d say I’m much happier now. Though I know I’m still not complete. As I could never be complete without receiving my God sacramentally in the Holy Eucharist.
So here I am catching out. Pausing out for a while, writing some lines then go out then write once more till I finish what’s on my mind.
One big event that happened this week was my joining at CathInfo forums. Since then, I was very active asking for such and such questions and sometimes voiced out my opinions too.
Anyways, I’m doing better with my resolutions. The obtuse life I was treading before is certainly leaving me. I’ve changed. Yes, my outlook obviously changed. My family re watched videos but I excused myself (and I’m sometimes successful). My dad brought home an airline’s magazine but I barely read it. I simply glimpsed some things just to know what’s happening around me.
Then when my Mom brought a newspaper, I browsed it and read some things but didn’t take pleasure on it. I wasn’t happy to see that this world is crumbling away and got no place for religious things. Sigh. What’s more disheartening was that the issue exclusively featured writers sharing out their experience about “first times”. My oh my. They even went out doing sinful things just to make up with their assignments. Imagining them is like getting crazy. Learning to dance on hip hop songs, a man wearing a female’s 3 inch high heels, and living alone for a month. Although there were some good writers, I came to realize that this world is really turning to be very ungodly. Fashions, too, are just not decent. I even saw a picture of a model posing with dark clothes in a flickering red background. My gosh, it looks devilish. The peoples’ way of life is unfortunately turning more and more away from God. I’m not happy to know it and I keep on asking: oh my Lord, in these days, when will they ever learn what’s pleasing to Thee? To love Thee, adore Thee, and offer Thee sacrifices?
I thank God and the Blessed Virgin Mary that I was able to open my blinded eyes from worldliness. Yes, I have to admit my attitude was very much “in” to this world. I craved for those things that when I made my resolution, I thought I’m going to be bored and give up sooner or later. But now, it’s only a matter to laugh about. Those things I thought was sweet turned suddenly bitter in my palate. I’m not saying I’m already perfect. No, rather the battle within me still continues. It’s safe to say, though, that the war is already conquered if not won. I know I may still lose my soul to satan if I’m not cautious with my thoughts, words, and deeds.
But definitely, I’m much blessed. I’m now discovering how much one will really take risks just to love the One you perfectly love. The One that really deserves pure love. And He, Who is God, would never really leave you, provided you’re always constant to His commands. Oh! I’m engrossed to know that! And I’d say I’m much happier now. Though I know I’m still not complete. As I could never be complete without receiving my God sacramentally in the Holy Eucharist.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Lord I Offer
Here is a song I heard in the Novus Ordo Catholic Church many yeas ago. It keep resounding in my mind now that I want to surrender to God my everything. (I’m not very sure if this is correct but my sister and I tried to remember the lyrics as best as we can.)
All that I am, all that I have,
I lay them down before You, O Lord.
All my regrets, all my acclaims,
The joys and the pains,
I’m making them Yours
(R) Lord I offer my life to You
Everything that I’ve been through
Use it for Your glory
Lord I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a living sacrifice
Lord I offer You my life.
Things in the past, things yet unseen,
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true.
All of my hope, all of my plans,
My heart and my hands,
I lift them to You.
Repeat (R)
All that I am, all that I have,
I lay them down before You, O Lord.
All my regrets, all my acclaims,
The joys and the pains,
I’m making them Yours
(R) Lord I offer my life to You
Everything that I’ve been through
Use it for Your glory
Lord I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a living sacrifice
Lord I offer You my life.
Things in the past, things yet unseen,
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true.
All of my hope, all of my plans,
My heart and my hands,
I lift them to You.
Repeat (R)
Hey, My Very First Blog For This Month
It’s August already and Dad came for a scheduled working trip. This day, Mom and Dad went to GenSan for Dad’s laboratory tests. They also decided to withdraw the apartment there since it has no use for the current time.
When they got home, I learned that Dad’s lab results weren’t good. Sigh. I just hope it is still the work of Divine Providence…
Oh well how could I describe my day? I guess it’s a mixture of sorrow and happiness. Sorrow in the sense that I couldn’t be nearer to God. Happy in the sense that my parents are doing well with each other. My siblings? Well, they’re okay but sibling rivalry is sometimes there. Gosh, not so admiring.
Oh Lord my God, teach me to bear all these trials. Many unpleasant days will still drag along but I hope in Thee. Help me not to fall away from attaining my goal - Heaven.
Oh Blessed Virgin Mary intercede for me as I’m beginning to wane again. Reach out thy hand for my frail hand that I’ll always overcome this. Oh my Mother, the pain is getting deeper and deeper that sometimes I don’t know if it will still heal. Nonetheless, I’ll always trust in thee for I assuredly know that thou art more powerful that all the evils in this world. Enlighten me and be near to me that I may always be a better girl! Amen.
When they got home, I learned that Dad’s lab results weren’t good. Sigh. I just hope it is still the work of Divine Providence…
Oh well how could I describe my day? I guess it’s a mixture of sorrow and happiness. Sorrow in the sense that I couldn’t be nearer to God. Happy in the sense that my parents are doing well with each other. My siblings? Well, they’re okay but sibling rivalry is sometimes there. Gosh, not so admiring.
Oh Lord my God, teach me to bear all these trials. Many unpleasant days will still drag along but I hope in Thee. Help me not to fall away from attaining my goal - Heaven.
Oh Blessed Virgin Mary intercede for me as I’m beginning to wane again. Reach out thy hand for my frail hand that I’ll always overcome this. Oh my Mother, the pain is getting deeper and deeper that sometimes I don’t know if it will still heal. Nonetheless, I’ll always trust in thee for I assuredly know that thou art more powerful that all the evils in this world. Enlighten me and be near to me that I may always be a better girl! Amen.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
I Can’t Believe…
I can’t believe that I was able to stop my addiction to pop music.
I can’t believe that I learned to control my senses and passion.
I can’t believe that I’m still persevering from being worldly.
With the grace of God and the aid of the Blessed Virgin Mary, I realized how precious it is to despise the earthly things, imitate the Saints, and thus love my greatest Benefactor - God!
I can’t believe that I learned to control my senses and passion.
I can’t believe that I’m still persevering from being worldly.
With the grace of God and the aid of the Blessed Virgin Mary, I realized how precious it is to despise the earthly things, imitate the Saints, and thus love my greatest Benefactor - God!
Our Lady of Carmel
[This one is supposed to be on July 16, 2007, Monday. However, I ran out of internet time - Editor’s Note]
Today’s the feast of Our Lady of Carmel, my patroness. I remember my Mom consecrated me to the Blessed Virgin Mary under this special title when I was 10. And from that time on, I came to treasure Our Lady of Carmel, the Brown Scapular, and the Carmelites as well.
Yesterday, I don’t have the mood to explain how I felt on the Novus Ordo PEA (Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration). I was not praying very well nor did I come to converse with our Lord as I did in any traditional chapel or simply in my home.
I have a lot of reasons to doubt if the Real Presence of God is inside the exposed Blessed Sacrament. And that’s why I couldn’t pray well. Although I knelt along the 2 hours (save for few intermission of sitting), I couldn’t appreciate it. Deep down, I was asking our Lord why was I there when that Church is mocking Him. It is not already Catholic. I felt so misfit and unhappy around there.
I’ve been pleading to God to help me overcome this pain as I believe it will still drag many unpleasant weekends - both spiritually and physically. And to Our Lady of Carmel, I ask for perseverance for my vocation despite opposition.
Today’s the feast of Our Lady of Carmel, my patroness. I remember my Mom consecrated me to the Blessed Virgin Mary under this special title when I was 10. And from that time on, I came to treasure Our Lady of Carmel, the Brown Scapular, and the Carmelites as well.
Yesterday, I don’t have the mood to explain how I felt on the Novus Ordo PEA (Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration). I was not praying very well nor did I come to converse with our Lord as I did in any traditional chapel or simply in my home.
I have a lot of reasons to doubt if the Real Presence of God is inside the exposed Blessed Sacrament. And that’s why I couldn’t pray well. Although I knelt along the 2 hours (save for few intermission of sitting), I couldn’t appreciate it. Deep down, I was asking our Lord why was I there when that Church is mocking Him. It is not already Catholic. I felt so misfit and unhappy around there.
I’ve been pleading to God to help me overcome this pain as I believe it will still drag many unpleasant weekends - both spiritually and physically. And to Our Lady of Carmel, I ask for perseverance for my vocation despite opposition.
Agitating
[This one is supposed to be on July 15, 2007, Sunday. However, I ran out of internet time - Editor’s Note]
Last night, I couldn’t fall asleep easily. I tossed and turned around my bed and I felt so restless. The hour of 12 struck already but still I couldn’t be at ease.
It was because of my brother. That morning, he informed us that he’d be working for the last time on night. Then during at work, he forwarded a message of his trainer Glenda. The message was so encouraging that it left me pondering. I felt so miserable. I was thinking of my brother - of how he would ever cope up now that it’s over.
My brother is a different type of guy. Back home, he’d always share his stories about work. But during the past days, he was quiet yet jolly. Sometimes he would ask me questions that I decided to leave unanswered as I know it would be better for him to answer it by himself
I agree with my sisters. Why is it that when he got work, we missed his company? Yet now, why is it we regret that he’s home? I really don’t know why we feel this way.
From time to time, I’m wondering. Why is it that life never answered its own questions? Life would always leave you to find it. And most of the time, I get the wrong answer. Sigh. It is strange yet I know it is all God’s will. He turns the tide so strong because He wants us to look upon Him. God wants us to reconsider our life. To look upon the Blessed Virgin Mary for assistance and be faithful. Yet even so, God still want us to suffer patiently. For without it, one cannot attain peace with God.
By the way, I was so happy to know that Pope Benedict xvi had finally released the Motu Proprio for the liberalization of the Tridentine Mass. I just learned it this day when we met a traditional friend who gave us the SSPX Mindanao Bulletin. I rejoice with the SSPX. I also agree with them that difficulties still remain. Regarding the SSPX status on Rome, it is still not over. Yes, I believe that the SSPX has the right in claiming the withdrawal of the decree of excommunication which has so damaged the SSPX’s name.
May the unification of the Catholic Church into one, holy, Catholic, apostolic, and Tridentine Church. come soon. And may it always be under the holy mantle of the Virgin Mother of God! Amen.
Last night, I couldn’t fall asleep easily. I tossed and turned around my bed and I felt so restless. The hour of 12 struck already but still I couldn’t be at ease.
It was because of my brother. That morning, he informed us that he’d be working for the last time on night. Then during at work, he forwarded a message of his trainer Glenda. The message was so encouraging that it left me pondering. I felt so miserable. I was thinking of my brother - of how he would ever cope up now that it’s over.
My brother is a different type of guy. Back home, he’d always share his stories about work. But during the past days, he was quiet yet jolly. Sometimes he would ask me questions that I decided to leave unanswered as I know it would be better for him to answer it by himself
I agree with my sisters. Why is it that when he got work, we missed his company? Yet now, why is it we regret that he’s home? I really don’t know why we feel this way.
From time to time, I’m wondering. Why is it that life never answered its own questions? Life would always leave you to find it. And most of the time, I get the wrong answer. Sigh. It is strange yet I know it is all God’s will. He turns the tide so strong because He wants us to look upon Him. God wants us to reconsider our life. To look upon the Blessed Virgin Mary for assistance and be faithful. Yet even so, God still want us to suffer patiently. For without it, one cannot attain peace with God.
By the way, I was so happy to know that Pope Benedict xvi had finally released the Motu Proprio for the liberalization of the Tridentine Mass. I just learned it this day when we met a traditional friend who gave us the SSPX Mindanao Bulletin. I rejoice with the SSPX. I also agree with them that difficulties still remain. Regarding the SSPX status on Rome, it is still not over. Yes, I believe that the SSPX has the right in claiming the withdrawal of the decree of excommunication which has so damaged the SSPX’s name.
May the unification of the Catholic Church into one, holy, Catholic, apostolic, and Tridentine Church. come soon. And may it always be under the holy mantle of the Virgin Mother of God! Amen.
Getting On Here
[This one is supposed to be on July 5, 2007, Thursday. However, I ran out of internet time - Editor’s Note]
Life is so busy to me that I rarely get time to write. Sometimes, I just ponder it to my heart every night I rest for sleep hoping that someday I’d be able to write it down here.
Yes, I believe I’m getting late. On my previous post, I mentioned the room blessing. And, thanks be to God, it was Fr. Soliman who blessed it!!!
I’m doing pretty well with my new resolution. I also managed not to sing pop music songs whether in speech or mind. Instead of singing those, I try singing some Gregorian chant I know or simply pray mentally. In this way, I feel close to God and the Blessed Virgin Mary most of the time. Just last night, I made a short prayer that I thought of saying it as my first prayer every morning when I’m preparing to rise up from my bed: Dear Jesus and Mary, help me to make this day a holier one and united always to Thee. Sometimes, I repeat it during the day.
However, one thing that still agonize me is the habit of gossiping. Why is it that I just can’t help doing away with that? Although it is not that sinful, it is still a distraction to me, a poor wretched sinner. I know it diminish my nearness to God. So, starting this day, I’m going to make another resolution: stop gossiping. I hope I survive. That with God’s grace and the Blessed Virgin Mary, I’d be counting the days of July with a clean soul full of docility, humility, and meekness. This is my eternal quest. And, God willing, I wish – with all the angels and saints - to live my remaining years this way.
I recently read the life of St. Aloysius Gonzaga and was even more encouraged by his actions. His family was one of the renowned persons in his country but he became poorer among the poor. At a tender age, he wanted to become a priest and he entered the Jesuit Seminary at the age of 19. Although he didn’t become a priest as his frail health caused his life, he succeeded to suffer everything for the love of his Suffering Lord. At the age of 23, he breathed his last breath on earth and his youthful soul joined his Divine Master already!
Oh yes, last June I missed so many great occasions. I shall post it here.
June 7: It was the feast of Corpus Christi.
Explanation: The solemnity of the Corpus Domini is not just the simple memorial of an historical event which took place almost two thousand years ago at the Last Supper; rather, it recalls us to the ever present reality of Jesus always living in our midst. We can say, in truth, that He has not “left us orphans”, but has willed to remain permanently with us, in the integrity of His Person in the fullness of His humanity and His divinity. “There is no other nation so great,” the Divine Office enthusiastically sings, “as to have its gods so near as our God is present to us” (RB). In the Eucharist, Jesus is really Emmanuel, God with us. In the consecrated Host, we have not only Christ’s Body, Blood, and Soul, but also the divinity of the Son of God and, therefore, God Himself. What more potent means could God use to unite us to Himself and to make us share His nature and life? Where could we find a more life giving food than the Body of Christ, which through its personal union with the Word, is the source of all life and grace? By giving Himself to us, Jesus nourishes us with His substance, assimilates us to Himself, and personally communicates divine life to us. In the Eucharist, it is Jesus Himself Who is the Sacrament, coming to us personally in the integrity of His Person, that of the God-Man. When we receive the Sacred Host, we not only receive Christ’s action in our soul, but we actually possess His Person, really and physically present. We are given not only an increase of grace, but Jesus, the very source of grace. We not only enjoy a new participation in divine life, we possess the Incarnate Word, Who takes us with Himself to the heart of the Trinity. Furthermore, whereas material food is assimilated by the one who eats it and is changed into that person’s body and blood, Jesus, the Living Bread, has the power to assimilate and change into Himself those who partake of Him. “Holy Communion, the Body and Blood of Christ, tends to transform us into what we eat,” says St. Leo, and St. John Chrysostom notes: “Christ has united Himself to us and infused His Body into us, that we may be one thing with Him as a body is fitted to its head. Such is the union of those on fire with love” (RB). By nourishing us with Christ’s life, the Eucharist nourishes in us a life which has no end. By uniting us to Him Who is Life, it frees us from death. In fact, Jesus has said: “He that eateth My Flesh and drinketh My Blood hath everlasting life, and I will raise him up in the last day” (Jn 6v55). Notice that He said, “hath everlasting life,” not will have, because the Eucharist, by giving us an increase of grace - the seed of glory - becomes the pledge of eternal life for us, life not only for the soul but also for the body. “The sacred Host communicates the seed of future resurrection; Christ’s immortal Body plants within us the seed of immortality which will grow and some day bring forth fruit” (Pope Leo XIII: Mirae Caritatis). From this point of view, the Eucharist is truly the Sacrament of hope: hope of celestial glory, of the beatific vision, where our “communion” with Christ will have no end. Our eternal “communion” begins here on earth precisely in the Eucharistic communion which is its prelude, pledge, and even, in a slight degree, its foretaste. But the Blessed Sacrament is a source of great hope and confidence in our present life, too, especially in what concerns our spiritual progress; for, by increasing grace in us, it also increases our charity, and with the growth in charity, our passions are subdued. St. Augustine says, “The increase of charity is the decrease of passion, and the perfection of charity is the absence of passion.” If, then, the struggle against a certain fault of temptation sometimes becomes very violent and difficult; if in spite of all our efforts, we do not succeed in overcoming nature, let us have confidence in the Blessed Sacrament. When Jesus comes to us, He can calm any storm and give us strength to win any kind of battle. “The chaste Flesh of Jesus,” says St. Cyril of Alexandria, “checks the insubordination of ours; by dwelling in us, Christ effectively overcomes the law of flesh which rages in our members.” The Eucharist, therefore, is our hope both for this life and for the life to come; it sustains us in adversity, fortifies us in the struggle for virtue, saves us for eternal life and brings us to heaven by providing us with the food necessary for our journey. (Taken and compiled from a meditation book)
June 14: It was my 20th baptismal year. I don’t know but I was so fool I didn’t recognize it on that day! I guess I was busy with worldly things again. That’s bad! I had indeed forgotten to greet St. Basil the Great - one of my patron saints!
June 15: The feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
Explanation: After we have contemplated the Eucharist, a gift crowning all the gifts of the love of Jesus for men, the Church invites us to give direct consideration to the love of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the source and cause of all His gifts. We may call the Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus the feast of His love for us. “Behold this Heart which has so loved men,” Jesus said to St. Margaret Mary; “Behold this Heart which has so loved men,” the Church repeats to us today, showing us that it is truly “in the Heart of Christ, wounded by our sins, that God has deigned to give us the infinite treasures of His love.” (cf. Collect). Today’s liturgy inspired with this thought, reviews the immense benefits we owe to the love of Christ and sings a hymn in praise of His love. “Cogitationes cordis ejus,” chants the Introit of the Mass: “The thoughts of His Heart” - the Heart of Jesus - “are to all generations: to deliver them from death, to feed them in time o famine.” The Heart of Jesus is always in search of souls to save, to free from the snares of sin, to wash in His Blood, to feed with His Body. The Heart of Jesus is always living in the Eucharist to satisfy the hunger of all who long for Him, to welcome and console all those who, disillusioned by the vicissitudes of life, take refuge in Him, seeking peace and refreshment. Jesus Himself is our support on the hard road of life. “Take up My yoke upon you and learn of Me, because I am meek and humble of heart, and you shall find rest for your souls, Alleluia.” It is impossible to eliminate sorrow from our life; yet if we live for Jesus we can suffer in peace and find in the Heart of Jesus repose for our weary soul. Again, Jesus presents Himself as the door which leads to salvation. “I am the door. By Me if any man enter in, he shall be saved.” (Jn 10v9). This door is His Heart, which, wounded for us, has brought us into life. By love alone can we penetrate this mystery of infinite love, but not any kind of love will suffice. As St. Paul; says, we must “be rooted and founded in charity.” Only thus shall we able “to know… the charity of Christ which surpasseth all knowledge, that [we] may be filled unto all the fullness of God.” (Taken and compiled from a meditation book)
June 17: Fathers’ Day. Happy Fathers’ Day, Dad! Love you always!
I would like to leave with this prayer of St. Augustine (that I read from the book entitled True Devotion to Our Lady by St. Louis de Montfort) as I find these words most fittingly describe the way I feel at the moment and all the days of my life to come: O Jesus Christ, Thou art my Father, my merciful God, my great King, my good Shepherd, my only Master, my best Helper, my beloved Friend of overwhelming beauty, my living Bread, my eternal Priest. Thou art my guide to my heavenly home, my one true light, my holy joy, my true way, my shining wisdom, my unfeigned simplicity, the peace and harmony of my soul, my perfect safeguard, my bounteous inheritance, my everlasting salvation. My loving Lord, Jesus Christ, why have I ever loved or desired anything else in my life but Thee, my God? Where was I when I was not in communion with Thee? From now on, I direct all my desires to be inspired by Thee and centered on Thee. I direct them to press forward for they have tarried long enough, to hasten towards their goal, to seek the One they yearn for. O Jesus, let him who does not love Thee be accursed and filled with bitterness. O gentle Jesus, let every worthy feeling of mine show Thee love, take delight in Thee and admire Thee. O God of my heart and my inheritance, Christ Jesus, may my heart mellow before the influence of Thy spirit and may Thou live in me. May the flame of Thy love burn in my soul. May it burn incessantly on the altar of my heart. May it glow in my innermost being. May it spread its heat into the hidden recesses of my soul and on the day of my consummation, may I appear before Thee consumed in Thy love. Amen.
Life is so busy to me that I rarely get time to write. Sometimes, I just ponder it to my heart every night I rest for sleep hoping that someday I’d be able to write it down here.
Yes, I believe I’m getting late. On my previous post, I mentioned the room blessing. And, thanks be to God, it was Fr. Soliman who blessed it!!!
I’m doing pretty well with my new resolution. I also managed not to sing pop music songs whether in speech or mind. Instead of singing those, I try singing some Gregorian chant I know or simply pray mentally. In this way, I feel close to God and the Blessed Virgin Mary most of the time. Just last night, I made a short prayer that I thought of saying it as my first prayer every morning when I’m preparing to rise up from my bed: Dear Jesus and Mary, help me to make this day a holier one and united always to Thee. Sometimes, I repeat it during the day.
However, one thing that still agonize me is the habit of gossiping. Why is it that I just can’t help doing away with that? Although it is not that sinful, it is still a distraction to me, a poor wretched sinner. I know it diminish my nearness to God. So, starting this day, I’m going to make another resolution: stop gossiping. I hope I survive. That with God’s grace and the Blessed Virgin Mary, I’d be counting the days of July with a clean soul full of docility, humility, and meekness. This is my eternal quest. And, God willing, I wish – with all the angels and saints - to live my remaining years this way.
I recently read the life of St. Aloysius Gonzaga and was even more encouraged by his actions. His family was one of the renowned persons in his country but he became poorer among the poor. At a tender age, he wanted to become a priest and he entered the Jesuit Seminary at the age of 19. Although he didn’t become a priest as his frail health caused his life, he succeeded to suffer everything for the love of his Suffering Lord. At the age of 23, he breathed his last breath on earth and his youthful soul joined his Divine Master already!
Oh yes, last June I missed so many great occasions. I shall post it here.
June 7: It was the feast of Corpus Christi.
Explanation: The solemnity of the Corpus Domini is not just the simple memorial of an historical event which took place almost two thousand years ago at the Last Supper; rather, it recalls us to the ever present reality of Jesus always living in our midst. We can say, in truth, that He has not “left us orphans”, but has willed to remain permanently with us, in the integrity of His Person in the fullness of His humanity and His divinity. “There is no other nation so great,” the Divine Office enthusiastically sings, “as to have its gods so near as our God is present to us” (RB). In the Eucharist, Jesus is really Emmanuel, God with us. In the consecrated Host, we have not only Christ’s Body, Blood, and Soul, but also the divinity of the Son of God and, therefore, God Himself. What more potent means could God use to unite us to Himself and to make us share His nature and life? Where could we find a more life giving food than the Body of Christ, which through its personal union with the Word, is the source of all life and grace? By giving Himself to us, Jesus nourishes us with His substance, assimilates us to Himself, and personally communicates divine life to us. In the Eucharist, it is Jesus Himself Who is the Sacrament, coming to us personally in the integrity of His Person, that of the God-Man. When we receive the Sacred Host, we not only receive Christ’s action in our soul, but we actually possess His Person, really and physically present. We are given not only an increase of grace, but Jesus, the very source of grace. We not only enjoy a new participation in divine life, we possess the Incarnate Word, Who takes us with Himself to the heart of the Trinity. Furthermore, whereas material food is assimilated by the one who eats it and is changed into that person’s body and blood, Jesus, the Living Bread, has the power to assimilate and change into Himself those who partake of Him. “Holy Communion, the Body and Blood of Christ, tends to transform us into what we eat,” says St. Leo, and St. John Chrysostom notes: “Christ has united Himself to us and infused His Body into us, that we may be one thing with Him as a body is fitted to its head. Such is the union of those on fire with love” (RB). By nourishing us with Christ’s life, the Eucharist nourishes in us a life which has no end. By uniting us to Him Who is Life, it frees us from death. In fact, Jesus has said: “He that eateth My Flesh and drinketh My Blood hath everlasting life, and I will raise him up in the last day” (Jn 6v55). Notice that He said, “hath everlasting life,” not will have, because the Eucharist, by giving us an increase of grace - the seed of glory - becomes the pledge of eternal life for us, life not only for the soul but also for the body. “The sacred Host communicates the seed of future resurrection; Christ’s immortal Body plants within us the seed of immortality which will grow and some day bring forth fruit” (Pope Leo XIII: Mirae Caritatis). From this point of view, the Eucharist is truly the Sacrament of hope: hope of celestial glory, of the beatific vision, where our “communion” with Christ will have no end. Our eternal “communion” begins here on earth precisely in the Eucharistic communion which is its prelude, pledge, and even, in a slight degree, its foretaste. But the Blessed Sacrament is a source of great hope and confidence in our present life, too, especially in what concerns our spiritual progress; for, by increasing grace in us, it also increases our charity, and with the growth in charity, our passions are subdued. St. Augustine says, “The increase of charity is the decrease of passion, and the perfection of charity is the absence of passion.” If, then, the struggle against a certain fault of temptation sometimes becomes very violent and difficult; if in spite of all our efforts, we do not succeed in overcoming nature, let us have confidence in the Blessed Sacrament. When Jesus comes to us, He can calm any storm and give us strength to win any kind of battle. “The chaste Flesh of Jesus,” says St. Cyril of Alexandria, “checks the insubordination of ours; by dwelling in us, Christ effectively overcomes the law of flesh which rages in our members.” The Eucharist, therefore, is our hope both for this life and for the life to come; it sustains us in adversity, fortifies us in the struggle for virtue, saves us for eternal life and brings us to heaven by providing us with the food necessary for our journey. (Taken and compiled from a meditation book)
June 14: It was my 20th baptismal year. I don’t know but I was so fool I didn’t recognize it on that day! I guess I was busy with worldly things again. That’s bad! I had indeed forgotten to greet St. Basil the Great - one of my patron saints!
June 15: The feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
Explanation: After we have contemplated the Eucharist, a gift crowning all the gifts of the love of Jesus for men, the Church invites us to give direct consideration to the love of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the source and cause of all His gifts. We may call the Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus the feast of His love for us. “Behold this Heart which has so loved men,” Jesus said to St. Margaret Mary; “Behold this Heart which has so loved men,” the Church repeats to us today, showing us that it is truly “in the Heart of Christ, wounded by our sins, that God has deigned to give us the infinite treasures of His love.” (cf. Collect). Today’s liturgy inspired with this thought, reviews the immense benefits we owe to the love of Christ and sings a hymn in praise of His love. “Cogitationes cordis ejus,” chants the Introit of the Mass: “The thoughts of His Heart” - the Heart of Jesus - “are to all generations: to deliver them from death, to feed them in time o famine.” The Heart of Jesus is always in search of souls to save, to free from the snares of sin, to wash in His Blood, to feed with His Body. The Heart of Jesus is always living in the Eucharist to satisfy the hunger of all who long for Him, to welcome and console all those who, disillusioned by the vicissitudes of life, take refuge in Him, seeking peace and refreshment. Jesus Himself is our support on the hard road of life. “Take up My yoke upon you and learn of Me, because I am meek and humble of heart, and you shall find rest for your souls, Alleluia.” It is impossible to eliminate sorrow from our life; yet if we live for Jesus we can suffer in peace and find in the Heart of Jesus repose for our weary soul. Again, Jesus presents Himself as the door which leads to salvation. “I am the door. By Me if any man enter in, he shall be saved.” (Jn 10v9). This door is His Heart, which, wounded for us, has brought us into life. By love alone can we penetrate this mystery of infinite love, but not any kind of love will suffice. As St. Paul; says, we must “be rooted and founded in charity.” Only thus shall we able “to know… the charity of Christ which surpasseth all knowledge, that [we] may be filled unto all the fullness of God.” (Taken and compiled from a meditation book)
June 17: Fathers’ Day. Happy Fathers’ Day, Dad! Love you always!
I would like to leave with this prayer of St. Augustine (that I read from the book entitled True Devotion to Our Lady by St. Louis de Montfort) as I find these words most fittingly describe the way I feel at the moment and all the days of my life to come: O Jesus Christ, Thou art my Father, my merciful God, my great King, my good Shepherd, my only Master, my best Helper, my beloved Friend of overwhelming beauty, my living Bread, my eternal Priest. Thou art my guide to my heavenly home, my one true light, my holy joy, my true way, my shining wisdom, my unfeigned simplicity, the peace and harmony of my soul, my perfect safeguard, my bounteous inheritance, my everlasting salvation. My loving Lord, Jesus Christ, why have I ever loved or desired anything else in my life but Thee, my God? Where was I when I was not in communion with Thee? From now on, I direct all my desires to be inspired by Thee and centered on Thee. I direct them to press forward for they have tarried long enough, to hasten towards their goal, to seek the One they yearn for. O Jesus, let him who does not love Thee be accursed and filled with bitterness. O gentle Jesus, let every worthy feeling of mine show Thee love, take delight in Thee and admire Thee. O God of my heart and my inheritance, Christ Jesus, may my heart mellow before the influence of Thy spirit and may Thou live in me. May the flame of Thy love burn in my soul. May it burn incessantly on the altar of my heart. May it glow in my innermost being. May it spread its heat into the hidden recesses of my soul and on the day of my consummation, may I appear before Thee consumed in Thy love. Amen.
Sts. Peter and Paul
[This one is supposed to be on June 29, 2007, Friday. However, I ran out of internet time - Editor’s Note]
Today’s the feast of Sts. Peter and Paul and it’s one special day for the SSPX. Yes, this is the day wherein priests would be celebrating their priesthood anniversary and deacons would be ordained! I know for sure there would be ordinations at STAS (Saint Thomas Aquinas Seminary) as well as Econe, I guess. Deo Gratias! More priests are coming and coming. For priests, may you have many blessings ahead to sustain you! For deacons, good luck to your very first mission and may you be ever vibrant as in your seminary days! May Our Lady grant us many more religious priests who’d be a strong as the stand post and yet as meek as our Lord Jesus Himself is!
I would like to greet a happy 8th year anniversary to Fr. Salvador and a happy 6th year anniversary to Fr. Saa!!! If you will remember, both priests are Filipinos who are assigned outside their home country’s mission.
Mom went to GenSan for a room blessing (the one she rented for my brother) by one of the visiting priests. Mom said that in case the SSPX priest couldn’t make it - she’d opt for a Novus Ordo priest instead. Well, that’s not nice. I still hope Father could make it. Let’s see.
Before I end, I’d like to share here about how every morning when I wake up to pray my usual morning prayers downstairs, there is a lizard who never fails to accompany me. I don’t know but maybe because I open the light and it finds prey (flying tiny insects) there. As for me, I came to appreciate it. It’s like everytime, it’s the first creature down here to greet me good morning. Isn’t that a unique experience and exhilarating to start one’s day?!
Mom also told me this day, that I talk most of the time when I sleep at night! Weird. I don’t even know it and last night, I didn’t even have a dream. All I know was that I was awaken twice when Mom called my brother at work since he was night shift. And mind you, I didn’t hear myself. Or was I that sleepy? But no, I remember very well Mom’s conversation at the cellphone with my brother. I really don’t understand what Mom’s telling me about that. She also said it bothers her but I wonder how can I help when all the time I don’t even recognize my being “talkative” at night. Is there someone out there who can give me advice? Or maybe, prayers would miraculously work. God willing.
That would be all for this day. More on the coming tomorrows. Please don’t forget to pray for me. Thanks once more!
Let me end this with a short prayer: Dear Jesus and Mary, please may my heart always be near to Thine! Amen.
Today’s the feast of Sts. Peter and Paul and it’s one special day for the SSPX. Yes, this is the day wherein priests would be celebrating their priesthood anniversary and deacons would be ordained! I know for sure there would be ordinations at STAS (Saint Thomas Aquinas Seminary) as well as Econe, I guess. Deo Gratias! More priests are coming and coming. For priests, may you have many blessings ahead to sustain you! For deacons, good luck to your very first mission and may you be ever vibrant as in your seminary days! May Our Lady grant us many more religious priests who’d be a strong as the stand post and yet as meek as our Lord Jesus Himself is!
I would like to greet a happy 8th year anniversary to Fr. Salvador and a happy 6th year anniversary to Fr. Saa!!! If you will remember, both priests are Filipinos who are assigned outside their home country’s mission.
Mom went to GenSan for a room blessing (the one she rented for my brother) by one of the visiting priests. Mom said that in case the SSPX priest couldn’t make it - she’d opt for a Novus Ordo priest instead. Well, that’s not nice. I still hope Father could make it. Let’s see.
Before I end, I’d like to share here about how every morning when I wake up to pray my usual morning prayers downstairs, there is a lizard who never fails to accompany me. I don’t know but maybe because I open the light and it finds prey (flying tiny insects) there. As for me, I came to appreciate it. It’s like everytime, it’s the first creature down here to greet me good morning. Isn’t that a unique experience and exhilarating to start one’s day?!
Mom also told me this day, that I talk most of the time when I sleep at night! Weird. I don’t even know it and last night, I didn’t even have a dream. All I know was that I was awaken twice when Mom called my brother at work since he was night shift. And mind you, I didn’t hear myself. Or was I that sleepy? But no, I remember very well Mom’s conversation at the cellphone with my brother. I really don’t understand what Mom’s telling me about that. She also said it bothers her but I wonder how can I help when all the time I don’t even recognize my being “talkative” at night. Is there someone out there who can give me advice? Or maybe, prayers would miraculously work. God willing.
That would be all for this day. More on the coming tomorrows. Please don’t forget to pray for me. Thanks once more!
Let me end this with a short prayer: Dear Jesus and Mary, please may my heart always be near to Thine! Amen.
News - Bad and Good
[This one is supposed to be on June 27, 2007, Wednesday. However, I ran out of internet time - Editor’s Note]
Last night, Mom informed us that my brother would be terminated by the end of July. It was obviously because of an argument that happened on June 23, Saturday, between an officer of the agency and Mom.
Well, I’m so sad to hear it. Still, this is all God’s will. But I now wonder what will happen on the boarding room there in GenSan. Mom said it’s already clean and renovated - ready to be occupied. I really wonder
I had a lot of questions to ask my brother but it seems that it isn’t appropriate at the moment. I saw in his eyes that he doesn’t want to engage on that topic. And I feel like he doesn’t want to talk about it either. He’d go to any other issues e.g. the movies we’ve recently watched or simply his experience on work that day. So, I get to be satisfied with few questions answered. Indeed, it’s a big wow he managed to answer those.
About myself, I’m doing fine. Study, work, and prayers still occupy my time. I made other resolutions with myself so that I can better please God. It’s not popular and it’s daring. However, I knew I have to. I decided to stop re watching movies even decent one (The Passion is an exemption) as I want to open more space in my heart to God. I have to close my senses to inorderly things - worldly things to be exact. I have to confess that I grew up with fondness of Hollywood stuffs. From actors, to singers, to movies, music, and places - you name it. Frankly, I still find it hard to overcome those vain pleasures. But no matter what, I’m resolved to do it. I don’t want to have any connections with the world save for the salvation of souls. I’d also try not to induce my family to worldly things. I may not always voice out my opinions as I’m the youngest, but in my silence, I will do it actively. Only now did I realize the truthfulness of the words that you can’t bring anything when you die. The only thing that really matters is getting to Heaven to be united with our Creator. I desire to live like the saints. And I just read what one saint said: “…we learn that we can enter heaven only through many sufferings.” In other words, I cannot get to Heaven by simply hoping for it. I need to have more and more graces to sanctify my weary soul. And that I should never stop from having as many as I can. I believe that to aspire something is to gain it as well. Otherwise, it would be nonsense all in all.
Oh my Jesus, I’m very sorry for all the scandals I made through my thoughts, words, and deeds. How I wish I could turn back time and didn’t make any injuries in Thy Most Holy Name. My Blessed Mother, I wish to suffer more in repayment for my own sins and for mankind. Make this heart of mine a divine place for thy Son and if thou please, the whole Blessed Trinity, help me to despise all that is not in conformity to God. And to awaken myself from nothingness to holiness. Make my spirit united - always and forever- to God’s will. Banish from my heart anything that is evil, presumptuous, and concupiscence. My Blessed Lady, to thee do I come. I surrender everything to thee. Make my whole self to be a continuous living temple of the Holy Ghost and may worldly things never occupy my soul anymore. I also pray for my dearest family, my Blessed Mother. Oh, would that they learn all things that are pleasing to God! Blessed Virgin Mary, please may I have all of them in Heaven. Thank you very much, my Blessed Virgin Mary! Amen.
Last night, Mom informed us that my brother would be terminated by the end of July. It was obviously because of an argument that happened on June 23, Saturday, between an officer of the agency and Mom.
Well, I’m so sad to hear it. Still, this is all God’s will. But I now wonder what will happen on the boarding room there in GenSan. Mom said it’s already clean and renovated - ready to be occupied. I really wonder
I had a lot of questions to ask my brother but it seems that it isn’t appropriate at the moment. I saw in his eyes that he doesn’t want to engage on that topic. And I feel like he doesn’t want to talk about it either. He’d go to any other issues e.g. the movies we’ve recently watched or simply his experience on work that day. So, I get to be satisfied with few questions answered. Indeed, it’s a big wow he managed to answer those.
About myself, I’m doing fine. Study, work, and prayers still occupy my time. I made other resolutions with myself so that I can better please God. It’s not popular and it’s daring. However, I knew I have to. I decided to stop re watching movies even decent one (The Passion is an exemption) as I want to open more space in my heart to God. I have to close my senses to inorderly things - worldly things to be exact. I have to confess that I grew up with fondness of Hollywood stuffs. From actors, to singers, to movies, music, and places - you name it. Frankly, I still find it hard to overcome those vain pleasures. But no matter what, I’m resolved to do it. I don’t want to have any connections with the world save for the salvation of souls. I’d also try not to induce my family to worldly things. I may not always voice out my opinions as I’m the youngest, but in my silence, I will do it actively. Only now did I realize the truthfulness of the words that you can’t bring anything when you die. The only thing that really matters is getting to Heaven to be united with our Creator. I desire to live like the saints. And I just read what one saint said: “…we learn that we can enter heaven only through many sufferings.” In other words, I cannot get to Heaven by simply hoping for it. I need to have more and more graces to sanctify my weary soul. And that I should never stop from having as many as I can. I believe that to aspire something is to gain it as well. Otherwise, it would be nonsense all in all.
Oh my Jesus, I’m very sorry for all the scandals I made through my thoughts, words, and deeds. How I wish I could turn back time and didn’t make any injuries in Thy Most Holy Name. My Blessed Mother, I wish to suffer more in repayment for my own sins and for mankind. Make this heart of mine a divine place for thy Son and if thou please, the whole Blessed Trinity, help me to despise all that is not in conformity to God. And to awaken myself from nothingness to holiness. Make my spirit united - always and forever- to God’s will. Banish from my heart anything that is evil, presumptuous, and concupiscence. My Blessed Lady, to thee do I come. I surrender everything to thee. Make my whole self to be a continuous living temple of the Holy Ghost and may worldly things never occupy my soul anymore. I also pray for my dearest family, my Blessed Mother. Oh, would that they learn all things that are pleasing to God! Blessed Virgin Mary, please may I have all of them in Heaven. Thank you very much, my Blessed Virgin Mary! Amen.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Refreshing
After being gone for so many days, I finally made it to come up here again.
It was because my family is cutting costs and so it all happened that I rarely get online these days. Too bad. Although I know I was fairly doing it wise in my internet time, I need to trim it down even more.
My brother got a boarding room in his working place as his schedule is sometimes on night shift. Mom had already made things so that he’ll be doing and performing well in his work.
I’m so happy to inform that I already finished studying the Theology I was talking about. It’s really a pleasure to learn new things most especially spiritual ones. Oh yes, aside from the other book I mentioned earlier, I’ve also included on my list my most favorite book: The Heart of the Mass by Sarto House Publications. Who knows I might be someday including my fave saint book: St. Joan of Arc by Chanoine Justin Rousseil. Ahuh, the list goes on and on… But hey, the topics are still focused on Catholicism.
The negative side is that Mom requested me to study Accounting. It was the books of my eldest sister that she was asking me to study. Well, I don’t like it but I’m doing it. I have no choice. I need to do it for the love of my dearest Mom.
I decided to leave every worldly things and that means I have to call off my postings, say goodbye to all fan forums, and open my heart to a deeper union with God. I wanted to be occupied wholly by God so I thought of shutting off anything that would be displeasing to His august presence. I began to appreciate meditation. Indeed, one has to detach from any worldly enticement in order to find the perfect contemplation with God.
My God, Thou alone suffice and permit me not to offend Thee anymore. I wish to be emptied so as to be filled with Thy divine love and teachings. Help me to strive for a holier life and be in intimate conversation with Thee. My Blessed Mother, I humbly ask for thy intercession. Assist me so I can better discern God’s presence dwelling in me. Oh my Lady, transform me into what Thou wishes so that my soul will constantly reflect that pleasing thee is a sure way of attaining perfect intimacy with the Threefold God. Amen.
It was because my family is cutting costs and so it all happened that I rarely get online these days. Too bad. Although I know I was fairly doing it wise in my internet time, I need to trim it down even more.
My brother got a boarding room in his working place as his schedule is sometimes on night shift. Mom had already made things so that he’ll be doing and performing well in his work.
I’m so happy to inform that I already finished studying the Theology I was talking about. It’s really a pleasure to learn new things most especially spiritual ones. Oh yes, aside from the other book I mentioned earlier, I’ve also included on my list my most favorite book: The Heart of the Mass by Sarto House Publications. Who knows I might be someday including my fave saint book: St. Joan of Arc by Chanoine Justin Rousseil. Ahuh, the list goes on and on… But hey, the topics are still focused on Catholicism.
The negative side is that Mom requested me to study Accounting. It was the books of my eldest sister that she was asking me to study. Well, I don’t like it but I’m doing it. I have no choice. I need to do it for the love of my dearest Mom.
I decided to leave every worldly things and that means I have to call off my postings, say goodbye to all fan forums, and open my heart to a deeper union with God. I wanted to be occupied wholly by God so I thought of shutting off anything that would be displeasing to His august presence. I began to appreciate meditation. Indeed, one has to detach from any worldly enticement in order to find the perfect contemplation with God.
My God, Thou alone suffice and permit me not to offend Thee anymore. I wish to be emptied so as to be filled with Thy divine love and teachings. Help me to strive for a holier life and be in intimate conversation with Thee. My Blessed Mother, I humbly ask for thy intercession. Assist me so I can better discern God’s presence dwelling in me. Oh my Lady, transform me into what Thou wishes so that my soul will constantly reflect that pleasing thee is a sure way of attaining perfect intimacy with the Threefold God. Amen.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Longing For Him
Rainy days have come for us here in the Islands. Still, my life is dry and incomplete. I wanted to be near to God always and everytime, I hope that day would finally arrive. I could not possibly see why God still want me to be far away from Him. I’ve asked God to open my parents’ hearts in allowing me to enter for religious life. But I still couldn’t find His answer. Maybe, God wants me to wait a little longer. Or maybe it’s the devil. Sigh. I really don’t know.
Thus, I’ve decided to talk again to Fr. Couture about this. Soon, I would then let him know that I’ll be waiting for my 21st birthday as I read from the Catechism that children should wait till 21 before going against their parents’ wishes. But I guess I’d be following Father’s final decision.
Actually, I’m not financially able to go to Manila where the pre-postulancy is located. Yeah. That’s one big factor why I couldn’t leave.
Anyways, I guess the start of June was a great thing. I learned that Mom’s results were good. All she just need is to continue her medicines and to keep her strict diet. I really hope and pray she’ll be back to normal soon. I mean, her everything - her kidney, blood, and heart.
Last Thursday, I browsed on other blogs and saw two wonderful ones. First, it’s the “Let’s be friends” blog who’s full of adorable animal pics. Not only that but what’s more is appreciating how they have an unusual friendship. Find out more there!
Second, it’s “The Way of Chi” who have a cute pug photo named Angie when I visited it. It’s so nice to know how many people love God’s creature! It’s indeed comforting for me who have lost 6 beautiful dogs before…
Last Saturday was the last Ember day. And although it wasn’t required for lay people, I still fasted. It’s my little offering to God to appease His anger on us mankind. It was hard and sometimes I was tempted to quit. But by the grace of God, I happily made it.
By the way, I did finish studying the other religion I was talking about. And I’m much focusing now on Theology. I wouldn’t be studying two subjects at a time since I find it hard to do so. My brain needs concentration to fully grasp the main thought, I guess.
Nonetheless, I found out that I could read other stuffs as long as it does not contradict the one I’m currently studying. So, here’s my list of subjects: Theology, True Devotion to Our Lady, the current SSPX Asian newsletter, and part of Mystical City of God book 2.
As always, I’m busy and sometimes I just don’t know what to write given my hectic life. But I do know that somewhere along, I’ll always search my feelings, get a topic, and create another post here.
Thus, I’ve decided to talk again to Fr. Couture about this. Soon, I would then let him know that I’ll be waiting for my 21st birthday as I read from the Catechism that children should wait till 21 before going against their parents’ wishes. But I guess I’d be following Father’s final decision.
Actually, I’m not financially able to go to Manila where the pre-postulancy is located. Yeah. That’s one big factor why I couldn’t leave.
Anyways, I guess the start of June was a great thing. I learned that Mom’s results were good. All she just need is to continue her medicines and to keep her strict diet. I really hope and pray she’ll be back to normal soon. I mean, her everything - her kidney, blood, and heart.
Last Thursday, I browsed on other blogs and saw two wonderful ones. First, it’s the “Let’s be friends” blog who’s full of adorable animal pics. Not only that but what’s more is appreciating how they have an unusual friendship. Find out more there!
Second, it’s “The Way of Chi” who have a cute pug photo named Angie when I visited it. It’s so nice to know how many people love God’s creature! It’s indeed comforting for me who have lost 6 beautiful dogs before…
Last Saturday was the last Ember day. And although it wasn’t required for lay people, I still fasted. It’s my little offering to God to appease His anger on us mankind. It was hard and sometimes I was tempted to quit. But by the grace of God, I happily made it.
By the way, I did finish studying the other religion I was talking about. And I’m much focusing now on Theology. I wouldn’t be studying two subjects at a time since I find it hard to do so. My brain needs concentration to fully grasp the main thought, I guess.
Nonetheless, I found out that I could read other stuffs as long as it does not contradict the one I’m currently studying. So, here’s my list of subjects: Theology, True Devotion to Our Lady, the current SSPX Asian newsletter, and part of Mystical City of God book 2.
As always, I’m busy and sometimes I just don’t know what to write given my hectic life. But I do know that somewhere along, I’ll always search my feelings, get a topic, and create another post here.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
This Day
I don’t know what happened but things changed. I wasn’t able to finish studying part of Theology as I started to study another religion. It makes up my small leisure time. And sometimes, I feel bad about it. I guess I’ll be studying both. I’ll try to divide my time between those two subjects.
Mom went to Davao yesterday. There, she’ll be meeting her doctors and I guess she did undergo lab tests last night. Mom is quite down as her bones are sometimes aching. That’s not good… So, please pray for my Mom.
I’ll be closing this month with 4 essays from people who lost their loved ones in the war of Iraq. I read these from the internet yesterday and I pitied them. It saddens me that they’re so young. Most of all, I was touched with these 4 true stories of American soldiers. I know I couldn’t do anything for them now that they’re gone but to offer prayers for their souls’ eternal rest. Please do as well. Thanks.
Ryan Montgomery Campbell
picture of Ryan Campbell
My son, Sgt Ryan Montgomery Campbell, was born November 7, 1978, in Enterprise, Alabama, the son of an Army helicopter pilot. Ryan grew up in California and Missouri, "making do" with few material possessions. He went on to graduate from college and planned to attend graduate school. He was killed in action in Iraq April 29, 2004 after being in country for 13 months. What I loved most about my son was his ability to get along with most anyone and his special affection for children, especially those who go without. He had wanted to make a difference in the lives of the children in Iraq. --Mary Ann MacCombie, Kirksville, MO (submitted on April 30, 2007)
Blain Ebert
picture of Blain Ebert
Blain Ebert was a cocky guy. We were in the same Bradley crew. I was the driver, he was the gunner. He outranked me by position. It angered me when he yelled at me, but he did have more expirience in the "track" and I respected that. We argued alot, but I still did what he said. He encouraged me to ask about the track, and showed me how to work the gun. We deployed to Iraq in 2004. One hot day, we were posted outside of a mosque. We looked for enemy activity but everything looked calm. He shared candy with me saying, "don't take the peanut butter cups, theyre mine." We then talked about family, the army, and life in general to pass time. As he whistled the song "Whos That Lady?" I heard a loud pop! I assumed it was gunfire and told him to get down. I felt relief when i saw him getting down. Then I realized that he was falling down, not getting down. I thought he was hurt, but by the way he fell i knew he was dead. He fell on me with a gunshot to the head. I remember holding him tightly and screameing "Ebert". I yelled at Smitty,(the driver) to turn on the track and get us out of there. I felt his blood trickle down my hands and legs covering the turret floor. For some reason, I didn't want to let him go. I didn't want him to hit the floor. I didn't want to give the enemy the satisfaction of another fallen soldier. This may seem silly, but it made sense at the time. The entire way to the hospital, I remember crying in anger, yelling, and asking why he had to die. I thought of his wife, family, and what we talked about earlier. I told him he couldn't go. I looked for enemies while trying to talk to him. When we got to the hospital, Sgt. O and Sgt. T took him from my arms and I followed the stretcher. I stopped about half way and said to myself "Whats the use? He's already dead.". I sat on a chair at the entrance and began to cry. 5 minutes later, I felt someones arm around me. It was a Major trying to console me. He guided me into the hospital where I cried for a good while. Just when I was starting to calm down, the rest of the platoon came in the room. Spc. Bennedetto saw me and I stood right up. We looked at each other, and began to cry some more. The doctors let us say our last goodbyes to Ebert. We stacked hands and said our platoon motto in his honor: "Dark Knights, 1 team 1 fight!" There wasn't a dry eye in the room. The next day we were back out there, in the same spot, patrolling the same area. We finished our mission in febuary and brought honor to Ebert's name. He didn't die. He GAVE his life for a cause in wich he believed in. He left this earth sharing, singing, and teaching me how to be a better soldier. For that, I thank him. Everyday I thank God for the opportunity to be here. It could of been me that died that day. Why him and not me? I may never know the answer, but I'm grateful. I will think about that day as long as I live. I will honor Ebert every day I spend in the Army. Thanks for the honor of serving with you. God bless. --James Buscampell, Ft. Eustis, VA (submitted on May 12, 2007)
Justin Allan Rollins
picture of Justin Rollins
My son, SPC Justin Allan Rollins was KIA on March 5th, 2007, along with five other soldiers from the 82nd Airborne. They were killed by an IED. He was due home for his break, as he had been in Iraq since August 8th. That was the last time that I got to see my beautiful, loving son. My son gave up his life so that we could have our freedom. I am so proud of him, for being so strong. I mourn the plans he had of marriage, having children and living a full life. He was only 22 years old. My life has changed forever because of losing him. He was so vivacious, always fun to be around, and was such a good friend to all. He never complained the entire time he was in Iraq, except for the fact that he didn't get much time to sleep. He was on mission after mission. We owe all these brave men so much. I never thought that my son would be taken away from me. I love you so much Justin....and I am so proud of you! --Rhonda Rollins, Newport New Hampshire, NV (submitted on April 27, 2007)
Justin Allan Rollins (an animal lover)
Updated: 7:48 p.m. ET May 25, 2007 CONCORD, N.H. - The family of Army Spc. Justin Rollins finally got to hold one of the last things he held. A female puppy the 22-year-old nuzzled the night before his death in a roadside bombing in Iraq frolicked Friday in New Hampshire, completing a nearly 6,000-mile journey that Rollins' family and girlfriend began pushing for after seeing photos of him with a newborn litter. "It was the last bit of happiness Justin had," said Rollins' girlfriend, Brittney Murray. Rollins and some other soldiers from the 82nd Airborne found the puppies outside an Iraqi police station March 4 but weren't allowed to bring them back into their barracks. Rollins was killed the next day in Samarra. After Murray saw the photos, she sought help finding the short-haired dog, named Hero as a reminder of the man who planned to propose to her on his next visit home, she and his mother said. U.S. Rep. Paul Hodes contacted the U.S. Central Command, which ordered the 82nd to retrieve the pup and turn it over to delivery company DHL. Hero arrived Thursday night at Kennedy International Airport in New York, visited a veterinarian and arrived in New Hampshire overnight. The floppy-eared pooch — mostly white, with brown spots along the right side of its muzzle and paws still too big for its 15-pound body — was a hit Friday as she sniffed around Hodes' office, pausing to piddle on the carpet. Whether the mixed-breed puppy is the one in the photo didn't matter. Several people claimed credit for the dog's name, but everyone agreed it was a fitting tribute to Rollins, whose parents said he was always an animal lover. "We have a dog and three cats at home. When he was little, they all were on his bed," said his mother, Rhonda. Rollins was buried in Arlington National Cemetery with a baseball signed by Red Sox player David Ortiz, who met him last summer shortly before Rollins' unit was deployed. "He really did believe in what he was fighting for," Rhonda Rollins said of her paratrooper son. "I think he'd be thrilled there was a positive story from the negative thing that happened to us. ... He was such a happy-go-lucky guy." Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.
Nicholas J. Manoukian
picture of Nicholas Manoukian
In Honor and loving memory of my son Cpl Nicholas J.Manoukian,my "Fallen Warrior".As troops pass by in a parade he is just a tree in a forest of men.When he travels from his homeland to the heat of battle,he is just someone who fills a seat on the air transport.To the enemy he is just another faceless target to be eliminated. But this Warrior is more than just a number.He is the beautiful baby,an only child that filled his mother's heart with so much love that she easily devoted her life to him.He is the young boy who suffered the loss of his loving father at the tender age of 12 causing pain more intense that any wound in battle.He is the teenager who could get into mischievous trouble,charm the girls,and keep his friends laughing.He is the organizer of fun,the Artist that makes sketch paper and canvas come alive.He is the accomplished drummer,creator of rhythms that could make his drums resonate with brilliance.He is the romantic that writes poetry to the girl that is special to his heart..the girl that would compel him to ride a bicycle on just a wheel rim without a tire to complete the journey to her home.He is the romantic that proposes to her by celebrating all of the Holidays that they will miss together while he is deployed to Iraq for a second time,ending with sending her on an Easter egg hunt to find her ring in July.He is the Step Daddy to a 2 yr old little boy who as he grew would depend on him for guidance into manhood.He is the young man who commands respect and love from a stepfather who is proud to call him his son.He is a MARINE who is loyal to his brother warriors who love him for his wonderful sense of humor and always reaching out to others to help them in any possible way.He is the man tough enough in body and spirit to face the enemy for the freedom of his nation and still be able to tenderly say "I love you Mom".He is the cherished son, the joy and love of his Mom's entire world. Now this vibrant and talented young warrior has been taken from us by a heartless enely.Now we no longer hear his laughing voice or the rhythmic beat of his drum solos or the romantic whispers in the ear of his wife he so deeply loved.No longer can we see his strong stature,feel his rib smashing hugs, see his soft dark eyes and his beautiful smile that could light up a room. Nick gave life a gleam that most people only carry a glimpse of. Cpl Nicholas J.Manoukian known as "Manny" to his Marine brothers was born on August 31,1984 in Westland Michigan and killed in action in Ramadi Iraq Oct 21,2006 while out on patrol when an Improvise Explosive device detonated near his Humvee. Two of Nick's Marine brothers were also killed that October night and two were wounded. My beloved son Nick was promoted to Corporal and awarded the Purple Heart with Gold star and Navy Achievment Medal with combat "V" posthumously. Nick is gone from our world but he now lives with an eternal spirit in the presence of God.You are only a breath away.I love you son, Mom --Mary Manoukian Calhoun, Lathrup Village, MI (submitted on May 7, 2007)
Mom went to Davao yesterday. There, she’ll be meeting her doctors and I guess she did undergo lab tests last night. Mom is quite down as her bones are sometimes aching. That’s not good… So, please pray for my Mom.
I’ll be closing this month with 4 essays from people who lost their loved ones in the war of Iraq. I read these from the internet yesterday and I pitied them. It saddens me that they’re so young. Most of all, I was touched with these 4 true stories of American soldiers. I know I couldn’t do anything for them now that they’re gone but to offer prayers for their souls’ eternal rest. Please do as well. Thanks.
Ryan Montgomery Campbell
picture of Ryan Campbell
My son, Sgt Ryan Montgomery Campbell, was born November 7, 1978, in Enterprise, Alabama, the son of an Army helicopter pilot. Ryan grew up in California and Missouri, "making do" with few material possessions. He went on to graduate from college and planned to attend graduate school. He was killed in action in Iraq April 29, 2004 after being in country for 13 months. What I loved most about my son was his ability to get along with most anyone and his special affection for children, especially those who go without. He had wanted to make a difference in the lives of the children in Iraq. --Mary Ann MacCombie, Kirksville, MO (submitted on April 30, 2007)
Blain Ebert
picture of Blain Ebert
Blain Ebert was a cocky guy. We were in the same Bradley crew. I was the driver, he was the gunner. He outranked me by position. It angered me when he yelled at me, but he did have more expirience in the "track" and I respected that. We argued alot, but I still did what he said. He encouraged me to ask about the track, and showed me how to work the gun. We deployed to Iraq in 2004. One hot day, we were posted outside of a mosque. We looked for enemy activity but everything looked calm. He shared candy with me saying, "don't take the peanut butter cups, theyre mine." We then talked about family, the army, and life in general to pass time. As he whistled the song "Whos That Lady?" I heard a loud pop! I assumed it was gunfire and told him to get down. I felt relief when i saw him getting down. Then I realized that he was falling down, not getting down. I thought he was hurt, but by the way he fell i knew he was dead. He fell on me with a gunshot to the head. I remember holding him tightly and screameing "Ebert". I yelled at Smitty,(the driver) to turn on the track and get us out of there. I felt his blood trickle down my hands and legs covering the turret floor. For some reason, I didn't want to let him go. I didn't want him to hit the floor. I didn't want to give the enemy the satisfaction of another fallen soldier. This may seem silly, but it made sense at the time. The entire way to the hospital, I remember crying in anger, yelling, and asking why he had to die. I thought of his wife, family, and what we talked about earlier. I told him he couldn't go. I looked for enemies while trying to talk to him. When we got to the hospital, Sgt. O and Sgt. T took him from my arms and I followed the stretcher. I stopped about half way and said to myself "Whats the use? He's already dead.". I sat on a chair at the entrance and began to cry. 5 minutes later, I felt someones arm around me. It was a Major trying to console me. He guided me into the hospital where I cried for a good while. Just when I was starting to calm down, the rest of the platoon came in the room. Spc. Bennedetto saw me and I stood right up. We looked at each other, and began to cry some more. The doctors let us say our last goodbyes to Ebert. We stacked hands and said our platoon motto in his honor: "Dark Knights, 1 team 1 fight!" There wasn't a dry eye in the room. The next day we were back out there, in the same spot, patrolling the same area. We finished our mission in febuary and brought honor to Ebert's name. He didn't die. He GAVE his life for a cause in wich he believed in. He left this earth sharing, singing, and teaching me how to be a better soldier. For that, I thank him. Everyday I thank God for the opportunity to be here. It could of been me that died that day. Why him and not me? I may never know the answer, but I'm grateful. I will think about that day as long as I live. I will honor Ebert every day I spend in the Army. Thanks for the honor of serving with you. God bless. --James Buscampell, Ft. Eustis, VA (submitted on May 12, 2007)
Justin Allan Rollins
picture of Justin Rollins
My son, SPC Justin Allan Rollins was KIA on March 5th, 2007, along with five other soldiers from the 82nd Airborne. They were killed by an IED. He was due home for his break, as he had been in Iraq since August 8th. That was the last time that I got to see my beautiful, loving son. My son gave up his life so that we could have our freedom. I am so proud of him, for being so strong. I mourn the plans he had of marriage, having children and living a full life. He was only 22 years old. My life has changed forever because of losing him. He was so vivacious, always fun to be around, and was such a good friend to all. He never complained the entire time he was in Iraq, except for the fact that he didn't get much time to sleep. He was on mission after mission. We owe all these brave men so much. I never thought that my son would be taken away from me. I love you so much Justin....and I am so proud of you! --Rhonda Rollins, Newport New Hampshire, NV (submitted on April 27, 2007)
Justin Allan Rollins (an animal lover)
Updated: 7:48 p.m. ET May 25, 2007 CONCORD, N.H. - The family of Army Spc. Justin Rollins finally got to hold one of the last things he held. A female puppy the 22-year-old nuzzled the night before his death in a roadside bombing in Iraq frolicked Friday in New Hampshire, completing a nearly 6,000-mile journey that Rollins' family and girlfriend began pushing for after seeing photos of him with a newborn litter. "It was the last bit of happiness Justin had," said Rollins' girlfriend, Brittney Murray. Rollins and some other soldiers from the 82nd Airborne found the puppies outside an Iraqi police station March 4 but weren't allowed to bring them back into their barracks. Rollins was killed the next day in Samarra. After Murray saw the photos, she sought help finding the short-haired dog, named Hero as a reminder of the man who planned to propose to her on his next visit home, she and his mother said. U.S. Rep. Paul Hodes contacted the U.S. Central Command, which ordered the 82nd to retrieve the pup and turn it over to delivery company DHL. Hero arrived Thursday night at Kennedy International Airport in New York, visited a veterinarian and arrived in New Hampshire overnight. The floppy-eared pooch — mostly white, with brown spots along the right side of its muzzle and paws still too big for its 15-pound body — was a hit Friday as she sniffed around Hodes' office, pausing to piddle on the carpet. Whether the mixed-breed puppy is the one in the photo didn't matter. Several people claimed credit for the dog's name, but everyone agreed it was a fitting tribute to Rollins, whose parents said he was always an animal lover. "We have a dog and three cats at home. When he was little, they all were on his bed," said his mother, Rhonda. Rollins was buried in Arlington National Cemetery with a baseball signed by Red Sox player David Ortiz, who met him last summer shortly before Rollins' unit was deployed. "He really did believe in what he was fighting for," Rhonda Rollins said of her paratrooper son. "I think he'd be thrilled there was a positive story from the negative thing that happened to us. ... He was such a happy-go-lucky guy." Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.
Nicholas J. Manoukian
picture of Nicholas Manoukian
In Honor and loving memory of my son Cpl Nicholas J.Manoukian,my "Fallen Warrior".As troops pass by in a parade he is just a tree in a forest of men.When he travels from his homeland to the heat of battle,he is just someone who fills a seat on the air transport.To the enemy he is just another faceless target to be eliminated. But this Warrior is more than just a number.He is the beautiful baby,an only child that filled his mother's heart with so much love that she easily devoted her life to him.He is the young boy who suffered the loss of his loving father at the tender age of 12 causing pain more intense that any wound in battle.He is the teenager who could get into mischievous trouble,charm the girls,and keep his friends laughing.He is the organizer of fun,the Artist that makes sketch paper and canvas come alive.He is the accomplished drummer,creator of rhythms that could make his drums resonate with brilliance.He is the romantic that writes poetry to the girl that is special to his heart..the girl that would compel him to ride a bicycle on just a wheel rim without a tire to complete the journey to her home.He is the romantic that proposes to her by celebrating all of the Holidays that they will miss together while he is deployed to Iraq for a second time,ending with sending her on an Easter egg hunt to find her ring in July.He is the Step Daddy to a 2 yr old little boy who as he grew would depend on him for guidance into manhood.He is the young man who commands respect and love from a stepfather who is proud to call him his son.He is a MARINE who is loyal to his brother warriors who love him for his wonderful sense of humor and always reaching out to others to help them in any possible way.He is the man tough enough in body and spirit to face the enemy for the freedom of his nation and still be able to tenderly say "I love you Mom".He is the cherished son, the joy and love of his Mom's entire world. Now this vibrant and talented young warrior has been taken from us by a heartless enely.Now we no longer hear his laughing voice or the rhythmic beat of his drum solos or the romantic whispers in the ear of his wife he so deeply loved.No longer can we see his strong stature,feel his rib smashing hugs, see his soft dark eyes and his beautiful smile that could light up a room. Nick gave life a gleam that most people only carry a glimpse of. Cpl Nicholas J.Manoukian known as "Manny" to his Marine brothers was born on August 31,1984 in Westland Michigan and killed in action in Ramadi Iraq Oct 21,2006 while out on patrol when an Improvise Explosive device detonated near his Humvee. Two of Nick's Marine brothers were also killed that October night and two were wounded. My beloved son Nick was promoted to Corporal and awarded the Purple Heart with Gold star and Navy Achievment Medal with combat "V" posthumously. Nick is gone from our world but he now lives with an eternal spirit in the presence of God.You are only a breath away.I love you son, Mom --Mary Manoukian Calhoun, Lathrup Village, MI (submitted on May 7, 2007)
Teaching
I guess I dread teaching. Although I’m quick to learn but I hardly teach. I don’t know, but maybe because I ‘m the youngest. Frankly, it takes me a lot of minutes just to merely teach simple English verbs. Don’t try to ask me about Algebra or anything that involves mathematical functions. I might as well fall to my bed in tire of explaining it!
But if need be, I’m ready for it. Besides, the ability to learn is the ability to teach as well. I guess I just need time. I’ll try to learn how to teach others. Someday, I’ll find a way to my nemesis. One sure thing is the prayer made by St. Thomas Aquinas entitled “To Mary: For Success in Study”. It’s a good prayer to the Blessed Virgin Mary but one should also give his best and not simply rely on prayer. As St. James said: “faith without works is dead." The two should never be separable.
As I make my progress, I know I’d be making ends meet. I’ll learn and teach at the same time. Oh my, it would be very challenging and only God knows if I survive. If I do, I’d only say:” mihi vivere Christus est”!
But if need be, I’m ready for it. Besides, the ability to learn is the ability to teach as well. I guess I just need time. I’ll try to learn how to teach others. Someday, I’ll find a way to my nemesis. One sure thing is the prayer made by St. Thomas Aquinas entitled “To Mary: For Success in Study”. It’s a good prayer to the Blessed Virgin Mary but one should also give his best and not simply rely on prayer. As St. James said: “faith without works is dead." The two should never be separable.
As I make my progress, I know I’d be making ends meet. I’ll learn and teach at the same time. Oh my, it would be very challenging and only God knows if I survive. If I do, I’d only say:” mihi vivere Christus est”!
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Once Again
Hey there! I’m so glad I’m back again. Last Saturday, there was a fiesta in honor of the chapel’s patron, Our Lady of Fatima. It was supposed to be on May 13, but they moved it due to political election! So crazy they did that. It’s as if those politicians are more important than Our Blessed Lady who bore our God, Jesus Christ. This one was indeed insulting to Our Lord, but what’s more was the irony of the fiesta! After the Rosary and the usual Novus Ordo Mass, the plaza (which was situated in front of the chapel exploded its full of pop, rock, disco music with loud speakers. All the way until 12 midnight. This is certainly not what Our Lady of Fatima asked for. She asks for our continued prayers and penances for mankind’s sins. Unfortunately, they’re just adding up and wounding Our Lady even more. It’s so blasphemous and they frequently do that. That night I asked pardon of God and pleaded for their conversion.
Next is, I finished doing my websites. Of course, I wouldn’t be here had I didn’t! Deo Gratias! Finally, I can relax and read other things on the computer. I think I’m eyeing on Theology. Sometime or when I feel I want, I’ll also do postings.
My brother had 2 days off and I grabbed the opportunity to have fun, talk with him, or whatever simple things we do when he’s still here before. However on Sunday, he and Mom went to Davao to hear Mass. Traveling there is certainly long hours. So it happened that our get together was short, nonetheless, it was happily lived. I’m much happier that he was able to receive Our Lord than spending time with us, siblings.
Oh, I guess I haven’t yet said that I already finished reading the Way of Perfection. It was indeed nice and I treasure every spiritual words from that book. It sanctified me more and helped me to bear all my trials with even more patience and dicretion. My gratitude goes to Mrs. Ghela for advising me to read it. Thank you so much!
Next is, I finished doing my websites. Of course, I wouldn’t be here had I didn’t! Deo Gratias! Finally, I can relax and read other things on the computer. I think I’m eyeing on Theology. Sometime or when I feel I want, I’ll also do postings.
My brother had 2 days off and I grabbed the opportunity to have fun, talk with him, or whatever simple things we do when he’s still here before. However on Sunday, he and Mom went to Davao to hear Mass. Traveling there is certainly long hours. So it happened that our get together was short, nonetheless, it was happily lived. I’m much happier that he was able to receive Our Lord than spending time with us, siblings.
Oh, I guess I haven’t yet said that I already finished reading the Way of Perfection. It was indeed nice and I treasure every spiritual words from that book. It sanctified me more and helped me to bear all my trials with even more patience and dicretion. My gratitude goes to Mrs. Ghela for advising me to read it. Thank you so much!
Monday, May 14, 2007
Traversing Amidst Tribulations
These days, I was very busy helping my brother who was hired to work last April 30. It was hard taking some of his responsibilities at home. Also, I was not accustomed in ironing men’s clothes. Compared to us, girls, my brother’s apparels are really big and time consuming. I’m still adjusting given my work schedule and prayers are also there too. Indeed, it was antagonizing but there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for charity. After all, I believe everything is easily handled and done for God’s merciful love.
Mothers’ Day came and it was sort of dry and weird day. I never felt like this before on the past Mothers’ Days. And I just don’t know why I felt so empty. Though I have had a normal temperament. Nonetheless, Happy Mothers’ Day, Mom! Hope you find happiness and serenity of mind soon. Despite our great differences, I still and will forever love you, Mom, more than words could ever express.
I’m right at the moment creating websites. And there, I want to prioritize my time first since I only got a small time at present. I might not be able to be back for quite a long time but rest assured, I will not abandon this blog. I’ve started it and as long as it’s possible, I’ll continue it.
Before I go, let me share this story. I remember once I got angry to my sister who’s doing our laundry when I saw my clothes weren’t in the laundered things. I reprimanded her that my everyday clothes should be first since I’m early in taking bath. Ever since that, she did what I said and I can see it up to this day. Now, I feel so guilty about it. I realized how I should have kept myself as lowly as can be. I’m so ashamed that I was that fool and blind. Fool that I couldn’t aspire to be like our Divine Savior - Who was crucified innocently for mankind’s sake. Blind that I didn’t perceive it was Jesus who’s asking me to participate actively in His sufferings.
Yes, I had no graces at that time. Or maybe as I mature and grow older, the Blessed Virgin Mary is implanting on me the graces I need to remain humble and serve God better. I’m not sure if I have enough patience God requires of me as I still get a bit irritated on things I dislike. But with the assistance of my most Blessed Mother, I hope to strive better and increase my humility and patience more and more. I pray that I may never go astray again and that I continuously learn to bend my will to God’s Holy Will. It is a constant battle within my whole self and it’s the hardest warfare I ever know. I earnestly pray that God will grant me the necessary graces so as to win the road to sanctification wherein He may forever abide in me and I in Him.
Mothers’ Day came and it was sort of dry and weird day. I never felt like this before on the past Mothers’ Days. And I just don’t know why I felt so empty. Though I have had a normal temperament. Nonetheless, Happy Mothers’ Day, Mom! Hope you find happiness and serenity of mind soon. Despite our great differences, I still and will forever love you, Mom, more than words could ever express.
I’m right at the moment creating websites. And there, I want to prioritize my time first since I only got a small time at present. I might not be able to be back for quite a long time but rest assured, I will not abandon this blog. I’ve started it and as long as it’s possible, I’ll continue it.
Before I go, let me share this story. I remember once I got angry to my sister who’s doing our laundry when I saw my clothes weren’t in the laundered things. I reprimanded her that my everyday clothes should be first since I’m early in taking bath. Ever since that, she did what I said and I can see it up to this day. Now, I feel so guilty about it. I realized how I should have kept myself as lowly as can be. I’m so ashamed that I was that fool and blind. Fool that I couldn’t aspire to be like our Divine Savior - Who was crucified innocently for mankind’s sake. Blind that I didn’t perceive it was Jesus who’s asking me to participate actively in His sufferings.
Yes, I had no graces at that time. Or maybe as I mature and grow older, the Blessed Virgin Mary is implanting on me the graces I need to remain humble and serve God better. I’m not sure if I have enough patience God requires of me as I still get a bit irritated on things I dislike. But with the assistance of my most Blessed Mother, I hope to strive better and increase my humility and patience more and more. I pray that I may never go astray again and that I continuously learn to bend my will to God’s Holy Will. It is a constant battle within my whole self and it’s the hardest warfare I ever know. I earnestly pray that God will grant me the necessary graces so as to win the road to sanctification wherein He may forever abide in me and I in Him.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Getting Updated
Yesterday, our neighbor knocked to offer mangoes for 100 pesos. Mom said she’ll buy it on Monday as it’s still Sunday. But our neighbor returned and said she’ll leave it with us and get the payment tomorrow.
That same night, Mom talked to our Mormon neighbors and discussed religious things. They happened to meet along the road and there they talked. I think it’s quite uncomfortable as they’re standing. And Mom said they talked long. Wow.
Anyways, this morning those 2 Mormons came to our house and continued their talk. However, they had an argument that eventually led to ending of the talk. That’s bad.
That same night, Mom talked to our Mormon neighbors and discussed religious things. They happened to meet along the road and there they talked. I think it’s quite uncomfortable as they’re standing. And Mom said they talked long. Wow.
Anyways, this morning those 2 Mormons came to our house and continued their talk. However, they had an argument that eventually led to ending of the talk. That’s bad.
Animals
There is an animal foundation named St. Francis of Assisi Animal Rescue where some of the abandoned animals are sheltered. They need masters who’ll love and take care of them. Please do everything you can to help. If you don’t want to adopt one, please just give donations e.g. pet foods, towels, shampoos, vitamins, etc. Our Lord Jesus Christ and His Blessed Mother will certainly reward you for your generosity on these lovable creatures of Them. Thanks so much!
My Pets
I’ve 7 dogs: siblings Michael Cherubim and Gabrielle Seraphim, and their pups Judiel Thrones, Uriel Dominations, Sealtiel Powers, Michaela (who was suffocated by its placenta), and Barachiel Virtues. They’re very energetic, like us, and were happy to be with us all the time. Well, that’s how our dogs were and they gave me unconditional love.
Having animal demands a lot of responsibilities. Nonetheless, it’s worth the effort. Animals, most especially our dogs, are very loyal and sweet. They’d lick you, play with you, bark when there’s a stranger, or simply follow you wherever.
It was such a horrible blow when they passed away late 2003. When we migrated to Mindanao, they had caught canine distemper. Our 2nd vet tried everything to save them but one by one the disease slowly took their lives. I felt helpless. I didn’t know where to turn to save in prayer. With tears flowing in my eyes, I watched them as they’re being buried. I couldn’t believe they’re already gone. But then, I realized God willed all these things to happen as we’re already incapable of having 6 dogs here in our small apartment.
We fondly took a lot of pictures of them. Even to the point that Mom and Dad got irritated about it. “Naku, puro aso na naman ang kinnunan nyo,” (Sigh, it’s all doggie pictures that you took once again), they commented as they browse on the developed photos. Now that they’re gone, we gathered all their pictures and realized how regrettable it is that we have but only few. These photographs are the only thing we have on our beloved dogs. For only 3 years of company, they left me still longing for more. It was abrupt but I would say it was happily lived. Michael, Seraphim, Judiel, Uriel, Sealtiel, and Barachiel will certainly live forever in my heart.
Since then, I also try to feed the stray dogs and cats around our area. And sometimes they come again to beg. By the way, I would like to say here that I also love the Hollywood dogs. Among them are Ben Affleck’s dogs named Angel, Hutch, and Martha Stewart; and Orlando Bloom’s dogs named Sidi, Maude, and Guero. They’re very cute and will make you smile or laugh! Indeed, I take pleasure on their pictures!
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