Friday, June 15, 2007

Refreshing

After being gone for so many days, I finally made it to come up here again.

It was because my family is cutting costs and so it all happened that I rarely get online these days. Too bad. Although I know I was fairly doing it wise in my internet time, I need to trim it down even more.

My brother got a boarding room in his working place as his schedule is sometimes on night shift. Mom had already made things so that he’ll be doing and performing well in his work.

I’m so happy to inform that I already finished studying the Theology I was talking about. It’s really a pleasure to learn new things most especially spiritual ones. Oh yes, aside from the other book I mentioned earlier, I’ve also included on my list my most favorite book: The Heart of the Mass by Sarto House Publications. Who knows I might be someday including my fave saint book: St. Joan of Arc by Chanoine Justin Rousseil. Ahuh, the list goes on and on… But hey, the topics are still focused on Catholicism.

The negative side is that Mom requested me to study Accounting. It was the books of my eldest sister that she was asking me to study. Well, I don’t like it but I’m doing it. I have no choice. I need to do it for the love of my dearest Mom.

I decided to leave every worldly things and that means I have to call off my postings, say goodbye to all fan forums, and open my heart to a deeper union with God. I wanted to be occupied wholly by God so I thought of shutting off anything that would be displeasing to His august presence. I began to appreciate meditation. Indeed, one has to detach from any worldly enticement in order to find the perfect contemplation with God.

My God, Thou alone suffice and permit me not to offend Thee anymore. I wish to be emptied so as to be filled with Thy divine love and teachings. Help me to strive for a holier life and be in intimate conversation with Thee. My Blessed Mother, I humbly ask for thy intercession. Assist me so I can better discern God’s presence dwelling in me. Oh my Lady, transform me into what Thou wishes so that my soul will constantly reflect that pleasing thee is a sure way of attaining perfect intimacy with the Threefold God. Amen.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Longing For Him

Rainy days have come for us here in the Islands. Still, my life is dry and incomplete. I wanted to be near to God always and everytime, I hope that day would finally arrive. I could not possibly see why God still want me to be far away from Him. I’ve asked God to open my parents’ hearts in allowing me to enter for religious life. But I still couldn’t find His answer. Maybe, God wants me to wait a little longer. Or maybe it’s the devil. Sigh. I really don’t know.

Thus, I’ve decided to talk again to Fr. Couture about this. Soon, I would then let him know that I’ll be waiting for my 21st birthday as I read from the Catechism that children should wait till 21 before going against their parents’ wishes. But I guess I’d be following Father’s final decision.

Actually, I’m not financially able to go to Manila where the pre-postulancy is located. Yeah. That’s one big factor why I couldn’t leave.

Anyways, I guess the start of June was a great thing. I learned that Mom’s results were good. All she just need is to continue her medicines and to keep her strict diet. I really hope and pray she’ll be back to normal soon. I mean, her everything - her kidney, blood, and heart.

Last Thursday, I browsed on other blogs and saw two wonderful ones. First, it’s the “Let’s be friends” blog who’s full of adorable animal pics. Not only that but what’s more is appreciating how they have an unusual friendship. Find out more there!

Second, it’s “The Way of Chi” who have a cute pug photo named Angie when I visited it. It’s so nice to know how many people love God’s creature! It’s indeed comforting for me who have lost 6 beautiful dogs before…

Last Saturday was the last Ember day. And although it wasn’t required for lay people, I still fasted. It’s my little offering to God to appease His anger on us mankind. It was hard and sometimes I was tempted to quit. But by the grace of God, I happily made it.

By the way, I did finish studying the other religion I was talking about. And I’m much focusing now on Theology. I wouldn’t be studying two subjects at a time since I find it hard to do so. My brain needs concentration to fully grasp the main thought, I guess.

Nonetheless, I found out that I could read other stuffs as long as it does not contradict the one I’m currently studying. So, here’s my list of subjects: Theology, True Devotion to Our Lady, the current SSPX Asian newsletter, and part of Mystical City of God book 2.

As always, I’m busy and sometimes I just don’t know what to write given my hectic life. But I do know that somewhere along, I’ll always search my feelings, get a topic, and create another post here.