Friday, January 23, 2009

Reason for Everything

It’s been more than half a year already since I last posted here. I don’t know but things got even far complicated than I had expected that somehow I found myself stuck.

Admittedly, my life has more downs than ups and I’m content at it. But much deeper had I felt before that I suddenly lost my pleasure on writing here.

Last July, I made a decisive moment by moving out from parental home without my family’s knowledge. I opted that way for I certainly know they wouldn’t allow me to try religious life without Mom’s consent. My family tried everything to persuade me to return until Mrs. Ghela advised me to give it a try. Although I know it wouldn’t work out, I decided to heed her counsel for I always wanted to give my family every bit of chance I could possibly see. As a result, my family stopped from hearing Mass - albeit dismayed, forbids me to send emails etc, and I became the subject of contempt.

6 months had passed and still there’s quarrel from time to time. I stood alone and firm and never gave up though I still ask myself why all these are happening when I had been careful enough to seek His will through His priests. I got no one to turn to save prayer. Deep inside, I cried for Heaven to answer my anguish. Till at last, I heard from Fr. Purdy last Sunday that “there is a reason for everything.” As I walked out after Mass, I kept pondering on what he meant. I realized it was Our Lord speaking on his voice and I was thoroughly convinced that everything is still under God’s noblest hands.

Those words may be indeed curt for a simple faithful like me yet it has also a sweet and divine connotation for someone who’s searching for God’s way in his/her everyday life. Those few lines were like a spark infused in my blood that regained back the pulse of my heart to get over with the past and keep moving ahead.

Indeed, it’s not for me to understand fully His ways but it requires that I be constant to Him. To do otherwise means to doubt my faith on Him Who did everything out of love for me.

Too many controversies had crossed my life and I honestly don’t feel good about it. I thought of hiding away and yet I could never really live without my God in the Sacraments of Penance and Holy Eucharist. I am very weak and fragile and all the more I need His divine assistance to sustain me.

There is a reason for everything,” and as I face yet another wrangling in my life, I better cling to those profound words and keep praying that I be faithful to His commands.

Oh my Lady, no prayer is more effective than with thy blessed name. Hence, here I am, once more pleading for thy intercession. Grant that I may have calmness in confusion and happiness in suffering. Teach me to accept humiliations and to forgive quickly in as much as thy Son did. Instruct me also to know and love true humility as thou and thy Son always revealed in Thine earthly lives! Amen

No comments: