Our Lady of Carmel

[This one is supposed to be on July 16, 2007, Monday. However, I ran out of internet time - Editor’s Note]

Today’s the feast of Our Lady of Carmel, my patroness. I remember my Mom consecrated me to the Blessed Virgin Mary under this special title when I was 10. And from that time on, I came to treasure Our Lady of Carmel, the Brown Scapular, and the Carmelites as well.

Yesterday, I don’t have the mood to explain how I felt on the Novus Ordo PEA (Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration). I was not praying very well nor did I come to converse with our Lord as I did in any traditional chapel or simply in my home.

I have a lot of reasons to doubt if the Real Presence of God is inside the exposed Blessed Sacrament. And that’s why I couldn’t pray well. Although I knelt along the 2 hours (save for few intermission of sitting), I couldn’t appreciate it. Deep down, I was asking our Lord why was I there when that Church is mocking Him. It is not already Catholic. I felt so misfit and unhappy around there.

I’ve been pleading to God to help me overcome this pain as I believe it will still drag many unpleasant weekends - both spiritually and physically. And to Our Lady of Carmel, I ask for perseverance for my vocation despite opposition.