Saving The Environment

[This one is supposed to be on September 29, 2007, Saturday. However, I ran out of internet time. - Editor's Note]

Today’s the feast of St. Michael and I wonder if there’s a Mass here as it’s the chapel’s patron saint. Oh, I miss going to Church and receiving God so much.

My sister and I were talking about a shrub around our area yesterday. It was getting tall and it’s already beside our fence’s backyard. I explained that the neighbor should already trim it down but she was against it. She even went to say that she would love to see it grow taller so as to avoid global warming and stuffs.

I have no problem with green plants around and about and I am all for planting more and more trees. Gardens are indeed beautiful and I don’t mind tending them to make it as attractive as it can be. But I believe it should be trimmed down time after time. And in our case, our back is already a wild forest. Tall and shrubby grass and many other creeping insects are housing there. The place is not maintained and the neighbors sometimes abuse it.

Anyways, yesterday too, I was shocked to hear Mom asked me: don’t you get bored? I didn’t know how to or rather I fight boredom. And so, I just nodded no. I was hoping to say more than “no” but then I just remained silent. I was indeed dumbfounded how my Mom would ask me such a question. Still, all I want to say is: no, but I wish to hear Mass soon. Why can’t I just say this? Oh my, I long to be with God in everything I do.

My life is still fumbling out and I just don’t know why God wants it that way. I still believe this is His will and that I must never lose hope. I must persevere and hold on.

The past few days, almost all the religious things I’ve read reminded me that faith without works is dead. That those who call themselves Christians but do not do Christ’s commandments e.g. frequenting the Sacraments He instituted, is like a dead branch in a tree. Indeed, I find myself exactly in that situation.

I do not want to think of it but then I know I’d be lying to myself. Facing my reality is hard to accept and sometimes I do not know how I will ever survive. Pray and pray even harder. I also need to seek guidance from priests and I hope I could contact them soon. At the moment, I’m stuck. Stuck in the mad that every time I try to lift off, it’s still there. I don’t know how long will this feeling end. It’s crazy to know but I won’t go insane. My refuge is the Blessed Virgin Mary who’d always assist me as long as I’m obedient to her.