Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Learning a Lesson (July 6, 2009, Monday)

Last week I got a cold and I knew right from the start that God is admonishing me once more to retrace back my life.

That forced me to think twice. For the last time I fell sick, I thought I had made enough resolutions to be better next time. I respected the days and nights as God has designed it to be and quitted my being workaholic. I refrained from beating the time and made it sure that I never skipped lunch anymore. Yet here I am suffering the same illness.

Indeed, it’s not about staying fit. The previous weeks found me engaging on much idle talk that I recognized something’s wrong going on. It was full of nonsense, really, but I cared less and tried to ignore my senses. Simply put, I’m beginning to become worldlier that somehow Our Lord was pleased to strike me with a congested running nose combined with a slight headache and irritable throat.

But that doesn’t mean I was totally forgetting God. For even when I’m having ailment, I must admit I was successful in finishing my daily prayers albeit imperfectly. Rather, it’s more of neglecting to observe silence as much as possible so as to make space for mental prayer in order for my soul to be further sanctified. I was too much drawn already by petty conversations that aren’t even worth talking about disregarding at the same time His majestic presence that was supposed to be with me all around.

It was dreadful for me to comprehend that I had become lax with my religious endeavors. That despite my conscience warning me, I remained deaf all those times. I thought killing one’s conscience is something I couldn’t possibly do. And I never knew how a lot of people bear doing it till I found myself exactly on that same plane. I felt embarrassed. Does this the legacy I truly want the world to see in me?

Sadly, I learned it the hard way. Yet I won’t stop from there. It’s the art of learning continuously for His glory and our benefit. Now that I’m recuperating, I better get a balanced outlook. I must learn to avoid such trifling activities and be a wholesome person still - ever recalling to mind to be as religious as I can.

Oh Immaculate Mother of God, teach me thy prudence. Grant me a profound understanding of God’s will - thus making me closer to thee and my Redeemer! Amen.

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